DomePunks, DomePunk’d: Which Way Did They Go?

We briefly noted their disappearance yesterday. But after Jessica Cutler emailed us to complain about the matter — “I was trying to read some shit about myself, but was stymied when the links didn’t work” — a full-fledged investigation is warranted.

So here’s the $64,000 question: What the heck happened to DomePunks?

DomePunks, which promised “Drenched, Moist, and Soaking Wet Gossip From INSIDE the Capitol,” is all dried up. When you go to its former location on the web, http://domepunks.com, all you see is a random collection of links, along with an announcement that “This page is parked free, courtesy of GoDaddy.com.”

The gossipy and irreverent DomePunks was started back in November 2005. If you miss the site, or if you never saw it but are curious, you can access some of it through Google cache (although not the most recent entries).

Not everyone is heartbroken over the blog’s demise. One reader who asked us about the matter added, “Not that I really care—the site sucks pondwater.” But we feel a certain small measure of gratitude towards DomePunks, since it’s where we first read about the salacious tale of one Stormie Janzen.

So back to the original question: Who or what is responsible for the demise of DomePunks? Did the Capitol Hill powers-that-be crack down upon them, just as they cracked down (pun intended) upon Jessica Cutler and Stormie Janzen? Were the DomePunks subjected to extraordinary rendition, packed off to a prison in Uzbekistan? If you have answers to any of these questions, please email us.

Earlier: Remainders: How Do You Solve a Problem Like the Press Pool?
Just When You Thought It Was Safe To Go Back in the Blogosphere

READ MORE: blog, bloggers, blogging, blogosphere, blogs, capitol hill, dome punks, domepunks, jessica cutler, washingtonienne

Remainders: How Do You Solve a Problem Like the Press Pool?

• Do not stare too closely at Torie Clark! If you must look at Torie Clark, wear protective eyewear! It’s for your own safety! [TBogg]
• An Egyptian newspaper printed those crazy Muhammed cartoons back in October. The fact that it took so long for them to decide to riot demonstrates, we think, that craigslist Cairo is killing the newspaper biz out there. [Egyptian Sand Monkey]
• Tim Russert, it has been proven by science, looks like Oliver Stone. We’d just like to note that it’s not really appropriate for anyone — least of all the man himself — to call Tim “Little Russ” anymore. [FishbowlDC]
• American Press hassled by lame, non-flying or singing nun. [Raw Story]
• Yeah, we don’t think this is an example of Bush’s plan to revoke the 22nd Amendment so much as just another example of the sort of basic logic the administration has proved to be so effective at over the last few years. [HuffPo]
• What the hell happened to DomePunks? You guys ok? [Not Dome Punks]

READ MORE: 22nd amendment, Remainders, bush, cartoons, dome punks, pool reports, tim russert, torie clark

Stormie Janzen: Tempest in a Teapot?

Okay, fine, we’ll admit it. We believe that the whole Stormie Janzen blog controversy is a bit overblown. Indeed, our view is reflected in the title we’ve given to this post. (And yes, we briefly considered the triple-pun headline “Stormie Janzen: Temptress in a Teapot,” before rejecting it as way too “busy.”)

But the recognition that this is all “much ado about nothing” — as Stormie herself, a one-time Shakespeare scholar, might say — won’t prevent us from serving up yet another post about Sen. Jeff Sessions’s steamy staffer. It’s what you’re clearly clamoring for, and we aim to please!

For those of you who missed yesterday’s coverage, Stormie Janzen is a gorgeous, 34-year-old scheduler for Sen. Jeff Sessions (R-Ala.). Until recently, Stormie Jansen [sic; intentional misspelling to capture Google traffic] maintained a bawdy blog on MySpace, where she raved about the sexiness of men in button-fly jeans and treated visitors to a tantalizing glimpse of her thong, a la Monica.

Unfortunately for Ms. Janzen, as well as all thong-loving members of MySpace, the powers-that-be in Senator Sessions’s office eventually got wind of her literary exploits. And when they did, they forced poor Stormie to change into a pair of granny panties — and to take down her blog. (But the chastened Janzen is keeping her job, as reported by Roll Call.)

So you’ll probably never get to see that ridiculously delicious photo of Stormie in her partially unbuttoned jeans (unless someone emails us a screen cap). But you’re still dying to know: “Who is Stormie Jansen? And how is she related to the Halle Berry character from X-Men?”

On the jump page, the results of Wonkette’s detailed investigation into those questions.

This Montgomery Advertiser article about Stormie Janzen provides some basic facts about her:

• she’s 34 years old;
• she is, by her own description, “single, straight and a Scorpio”;
• she’s a 1994 graduate of the University of South Alabama in Mobile;
• she works as a scheduler for Senator Jeff Sessions; and
• for her Senate work, she was paid $64,139 between October 1, 2004, and September 30, 2005 (so, with that healthy if not enormous salary, she has no need to supplement her income, Jessica Cutler-style).

In our quest for additional information about Stormie Janzen, we started at ground zero: we Googled her. This yielded up a ton of references to her work for Senator Sessions, as well as mention of her work on University of South Alabama Alumni Association, but not much else. (For those of you seeking to ask Janzen out on a date, however, Google will helpfully provide you with her office email address and work phone number.)

We then turned to Friendster, which was also a disappointment. Janzen’s profile has no photo — just that stupid Friendster smiley face — and it doesn’t tell us much about Stormie. We learn that she enjoys travel, writing, and dance, and that’s pretty much it. There’s also a somewhat banal testimonial from Stormie’s one friend, Laura, who raves about Stormie as “one of the nicest people I have ever known,” “who makes me laugh when I need it most.” Um, thanks, Laura. Can we be BFFs forever?

Of course, we also tried to locate Stormie Janzen on MySpace. That proved even less fruitful: it appears that Stormie’s profile disappeared along with her blog.

Then we turned to Lexis/Nexis. (Yes, dear readers, Wonkette research is a full-service operation. Don’t forget — people used to pay over $300 an hour for this!) And that’s when we finally started to get the good stuff.

First, we encountered an article about personnel changes among the Sessions staff from The Hill, on July 5, 2000. It had this to say about Janzen:

Janzen began working for Sessions on his campaign for attorney general of Alabama in 1994. After Sessions’ election, she served as his special administrative assistant in Montgomery, Ala. In 1997, she moved to Mobile, Ala., to work in Sessions’ district office as a field representative. A native of Madison, Janzen received her B.A. in philosophy and English from the University of South Alabama in 1994, and attended the University of London (King’s College) in 1992, where she studied Shakespearean literature. Janzen succeeds Kate Hollis, who has returned home to Montgomery.

That study of Shakespeare may explain how Stormie got to keep her job. We can already imagine Stormie Janzen making her impassioned plea to Rick Dearborn, Senator Sessions’s chief of staff: “The quality of mercy is not strained…”

Second, we found a Roll Call article from July 10, 2000, which contains essentially the same substance as the piece from The Hill. But the headline for the Roll Call piece about Janzen’s arrival in Sen. Sessions’s office is priceless:

SESSIONS SUPPLEMENTS D.C. STAFF WITH FOURSOME

Write your own punchline. People, you cannot make this shit up!

Update: BREAKING (Despite the Elastic): Stormie Janzen’s Thong!

Thunder Over Stormie [Roll Call]
Sessions’ Aide Agrees To Shut Down Blog After Complaint [AP]

Earlier: Just When You Thought It Was Safe To Go Back in the Blogosphere

READ MORE: blog, bloggers, blogging, blogosphere, blogs, capitol hill, dome punks, foursomes, jeff sessions, jessica cutler, kate hollis, montgomery advertiser, rick dearborn, self-writing jokes, sex, sex scandal, stormie janzen, threesomes, top, washingtonienne

Just When You Thought It Was Safe To Go Back in the Blogosphere…

This morning, via DomePunks, we learn the story of Stormie Janzen (porn name: Stormie Janzen). Until recently, the comely Ms. Janzen — a 34-year-old scheduler for Sen. Jeff Sessions (R-Ala.) — maintained a racy, sexy blog on MySpace. Janzen’s blog featured midriff-baring photos of the curvaceous blogress, as well as paeans to men in button-fly jeans.

We know what you’re thinking right now: “Washingtonienne: The Sequel. Heaven help us!”

Thankfully — or disappointingly, depending on your point of view — it’s not that bad. Although Stormie, as noted by DomePunks, “did appear with her pants opened and showing her thong tha thong thong thong,” she was a vestal virgin compared to Jessica Cutler of Washingtonienne notoriety. Stormie did not blog about sexual liaisons with other Hill staffers — to say nothing of receiving cold hard cash in exchange for said liaisons (replete with ass-fucking). Nor did she blog about congressional affairs business.

Still, even if the blog’s content may rise only to the PG-13 level, you’re still dying to see it, right? Unfortunately, it appears that Rick Dearborn, Senator Sessions’s chief of staff, ordered Janzen to take her blog offline — a directive with which she has complied.

Take it from us, honey, ‘cause one of us knows a thing or two about the subject: Blogging on government time is not such a hot idea!

Update: Stormie Janzen: Tempest in a Teapot?

Stormie Weather [DomePunks]
Sessions’ Aide Revealed on Sexy Internet Diary [Montgomery Advertiser]
Jeff Sessions and the Case of the Sexy Blog [AlabamaElections]

Earlier: For the Record, We Turned Down Playboy (a collection of Washingtonienne-related links)

READ MORE: blog, bloggers, blogging, blogosphere, blogs, capitol hill, dome punks, jeff sessions, jessica cutler, rick dearborn, sex, sex scandal, stormie janzen, top, washingtonienne

Show Me On the Body Politic Where the Governor Touched You

The wily DomePunks alerted us to an article from the Albuquerque Journal that describes the indefatigable wandering hands of New Mexico Governor and Presidential aspirant Bill Richardson. While there’s no indication that Richardson’s physical proclivities are akin to his California counterpart’s policy of annexing valuable mammary glands for taxpayer use, Richardson’s Lieutenant Governor, Diane Denish, finds Richardson’s habit’s “irritating and annoying.”

After reading of Richardson’s penchant for pre-hormonal horseplay, head butts, and smearing his saliva all over the lenses of other people’s glasses, we’re inclined to agree. Though, now, no one needs to ask Richardson where he stands on the issue of state-sponsored torture.— DCEIVER

Governor Bill “Touchy-Feely” Richardson [DomePunks]

Richardson Says Antics Ease Tension, Boredom; Lt. Gov. Calls Them Annoying [Albuquerque Journal]

READ MORE: bad taste, bill richardson, dome punks

Pandaddicts

At Post Secret, we learn that we are not alone:

PandaCam [Post Secret via Dome Punks]

READ MORE: addictions, butterstick, dome punks, post secret, top