Boring Ol’ Congressional Corruption Case NOW WITH HOOKERS
Yes! We haven’t heard anything interesting about Abramoff in days, Fitzgerald is taking his sweet-ass time, and gas prices are the lamest hot button issue we can think of, so thank god for Duke Cunningham:
Federal prosecutors are investigating whether two contractors implicated in the bribery of former Rep. Randall “Duke” Cunningham supplied him with prostitutes and free use of a limousine and hotel suites, pursuing evidence that could broaden their long-running inquiry.
Besides scrutinizing the prostitution scheme for evidence that might implicate contractor Brent Wilkes, investigators are focusing on whether any other members of Congress, or their staffs, may also have used the same free services, though it isn’t clear whether investigators have turned up anything to implicate others. [Emphasis ours]
Oh please please please please please say other members of Congress “used” the same “services.” Hell, say all of them did. Oh man, we are excited about Congress again. People, FBI agents have “fanned out across Washington, interviewing women from escort services” — this truly is the best of all possible worlds. AND THEY MIGHT’VE DONE IT IN THE WATERGATE!
Mitchell Wade, for telling investigators that you provided a congressman with hookers, limos, and rooms at the Watergate, you are an American Hero. We salute you, corrupt contractor, and hope there are plenty more where you came from.
A couple others who were the beneficiaries of Brent Wilkes generosity — financial and maybe, just maybe, otherwise:
- Appropriations Committee Chairman Jerry Lewis
- Rep. John T. Doolittle (received more money than Cunningham!)
- Schwarzenegger (though he probably doesn’t need a contractor to get him a hooker)
- Duncan Hunter
- (OMG OMG) KATHERINE HARRIS
(some of those recipients have “given back” the tainted money to charities — but as we all know, you can’t give back a night in heaven)
Prosecutors May Widen Congressional-Bribe Case [WSJ]
READ MORE: Corruption, congress, contractors, crime, duke cunningham, duke-stir, hookers, prostitutes, sex, top
Dear Editors of Wonkette: You were late with this story. Nick Denton should administer lashes. This is a windfall during a slow news day before Rove gets indicted. Redeem yourselves by finding out if Mitchell Wade or Brent Wilkes paid for a hotel room at the Westin Grande or the Watergate on the same evening he/they had dinner with Representative Harris.
by MathewArbuckle on 04/27/06 11:36 AM
gives a whole new meaning to congressional relations, doesn't it?
if katy got bonk'd, i sure hope it got wonk'd!
by neoskepticon on 04/27/06 11:58 AM
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE let there be a juicy K.H. story in all this! PLEASE! We have sat here with a Bush presidency for five and a half years now. He's pissed off "real" conservatives for awhile now. He's pissed off liberals since day one. His approval rating is in the toilet. We have $3 gas. The vice president SHOT a guy. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE! We NEED this. If Katherine Harris and a hooker makes headlines anywhere, it will all have been worth it.
Why are they only interviewing women from escort services? Between the antiques The Dukester received and that I'm-compensating-by-being-an-overly-macho-fighter-pilot attitude, I'd also interview Jeff Gannon. Just sayin'.
by chgo921 on 04/27/06 12:38 PM
Let's ask G. Gordon Liddy if the women involved with the Duke-stir were 'the finest women in Baltimore.' (Too obscure? My apologies, it can be Googled.)
by Barnacle on 04/27/06 12:43 PM
So there is a slight chance that someone actually got paid to administer sweet luv'n to Katherine Harris?
Damnit, I picked the wrong profession.
by Chris on 04/27/06 12:45 PM
Dreier with male prostitute? That's as likely as Ken Mehlman getting a male rent boy. Oh, wait.
by chgo921 on 04/27/06 01:30 PM
You know....I can think of a couple of 'nights of heaven' that I do wish I could give back.
by Dexceus on 04/27/06 02:24 PM
what good are free limos and suites if you don't have the prostitutes to go with them?
by forager on 04/27/06 04:09 PM
If there was a new scandal in Watergate, what would they call it? Watergategate?
by LA Trash on 04/27/06 04:11 PM
While I chuckled at the thought of Katherine Harris paying for sex, I have to say, we all know she has 0 problems getting some when need be. A heinie like that just beckons, you know what I'm saying?
by Ascender on 04/28/06 11:55 AM
If I'd known that he could be plied with hookers, I would've tried that when he was my Rep.
You know, before the whole going to prison thing...
Too much information, too late. Dammit.
by Zal on 04/29/06 11:48 AM
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