This just in: the Federal Reserve Board just raised the federal funds rate to 5.25 percent. This is the 17th consecutive rate hike, and the rate now stands at its highest level in more than five years.

Meanwhile, while Fed chair Ben Bernanke has fun raising interest rates, his predecessor Alan Greenspan has to suffer through jury duty. The full story, after the jump.

A fun little Wonk’d sighting, in this morning’s mailbag:

I was particularly peeved when I awoke this morning, late of course, for my date at 500 Indiana Avenue. The only thing that makes me feel any better about the long, boring day ahead was knowing that even Alan Greenspan reports for jury duty.

Yes, that’s right. The esteemed former chairman of the Federal Reserve. Greenspan and his doting blonde assistant waited in line patiently like everyone else (studying the Financial Times, but I guess that’s implied).

When I arrived in the jurors’ lounge, he had vanished. Perhaps there’s some extra special VIP jurors’ lounge that nobody told me about. I’m going to get to the bottom of this.

Former Fed chairs: they’re just like us. They get stuck with jury duty too. Somehow we doubt that Greenspan will make it on to a panel. But hey, you never know.

Fed Raises Key Rate by a Quarter Point [AP]

When he took over as Fed chair, Ben Bernanke said he hoped to provide clearer and more transparent guidance to financial markets than his predecessor, Alan Greenspan. We haven’t been impressed thus far. And now, this story:

Stock prices fell yesterday after CNBC, the financial news cable television network, reported that Federal Reserve Chairman Ben S. Bernanke said investors would be wrong to think the central bank has finished raising interest rates….

“Ben Bernanke … told me over the weekend the media and the markets got it wrong last week in speculating the Fed is done raising interest rates,” CNBC anchor Maria Bartiromo said at about 3:15 p.m. during her afternoon program. “I asked him whether the markets got it right after his congressional testimony, and he said, flatly, no.”

Stock prices dropped sharply after Bartiromo’s description of a conversation she said she held with the new Fed chairman at the White House Correspondents’ Association Dinner on Saturday night.

Sounds like someone was having some pretty important conversation at the WHCA dinner! Our friendly banter with Tucker Carlson doesn’t have the same market-moving power.

The moral of the story: Bernanke is just as delphic and easily misunderstood as Greenspan. This is why he needs the comely Maria Bartiromo, a.k.a. “the Money Honey,” to clarify his remarks.

Our modest proposal: All future Fed chairs should get their own personal cable news hotties, to translate their pronouncements for the markets. This will markedly improve public understanding of our nation’s fiscal policy.

(Now that she didn’t get the White House spokesperson job, what’s Torie Clarke up to? As we’ve said before, we like her; she’s a real firecracker.)

Investors Misunderstood Bernanke Testimony, CNBC Anchor Says [WP]
Fed Emphasizes Inflation Fight [Reuters]

Earlier: Bernanke Just as Delphic and Inscrutable as Greenspan

A correction from the Washington Post:

A headline in earlier editions of this story incorrectly described the comments of Federal Reserve Chairman Ben S. Bernanke in a speech. He did not say that further Fed interest rate hikes are uncertain. He said it is unclear whether unusually low long-term interest rates mean the Fed should raise short-term interest rates more than it would otherwise.

Are you as confused as we are? Well, that’s the whole point.

CORRECTIONS [WP]
Bernanke Challenges Interest Rate Speculation [WP]

You may have the day off on Monday, but your tireless editors will be doing some blogging that day (and perhaps even over the weekend too). So check back soon!

• “David Gregory and Scott McClellan: A Love Story, Kind Of” [tomatoes are delicious]

• The mysteries of the Fed explained: “Ben Bernanke is the thinking man’s Paris Hilton.” [Hot Johnny and His Tendency to Not Pay Attention]

• Operation: Narnia, a.k.a. President Bush, Hillary Clinton, and the Wardrobe. [Cracked.com]

• Because you know you want to support the NRA: “Dick Sticks Are Here!” [bumperactive.com]

Tomorrow Alan Greenspan is scheduled to step down as chairman of the Federal Reserve Board, a post he has held for 18 years. On Tuesday, in addition to voting on the far more contentious Alito nomination, the Senate will also vote to confirm Greenspan’s successor at the Fed, Ben S. Bernanke.

So what does Mr. Greenspan — an economic hero to many, as well as a fixture on the D.C. party circuit — plan to do in his post-Fed life? Will he head off to Disneyland, in a fit of retirement-induced “irrational exuberance”?

Probably not; he’s a hardworking guy. The Times reports:

Mr. Greenspan is not disappearing. He plans to write a book and start a consulting firm called Greenspan Associates. And while he does plan to write and comment on the economy, he has vowed to avoid any comment about monetary policy.

[NBC News correspondent Andrea] Mitchell, his wife, said he recently started figuring out how to do his own research on the Internet; he is still in the process of getting a personal e-mail address. “He spent his entire adult life trying to understand how the economy is organized, and he’s not going to stop now,” Ms. Mitchell said.

Doing your own internet research? It’s not that hard, Mr. Chairman; just ask Justice Kennedy for a few tips! Compared to managing the nation’s monetary policy, it’s a real cinch.

As for getting a personal e-mail address, Mr. Greenspan, that’s way overrated — unless you’re in the market for “Viagra Soft Tabs as low as $3.86.” But blogging, on the other hand, is great fun. You should give it a shot!

Alan Greenspan bio [Federal Reserve]

Greenspan, Another Monument in Washington, Prepares to Leave [New York Times]

Greenspan Readies for Central Bank Finale [Washington Post]

It's the trainspotting of "celebrity" journalism, but we can't help it: Once someone pointed out that Maureen Dowd, David Remnick, Rep. Jim Moran, Nina Totenberg, Bob Franken and Roll Call all had listings in today's "Notice of Unclaimed Property" in the WaPo, we couldn't stop looking more Washington folks with, apparently, more money than time. (Clearly, not a problem for us.) Among those who are letting their tax refunds (or whatever) burn a hole in the District's pocket: Postie Howie Kurtz and soon-to-be ex-Postie Mike Allen, Congressional Quarterly, John McLaughlin, investigative reporter "Murrey" Waas and -- are you really surprised -- "Governors, Board, O of the Federal Reserve."

For some reason, none of these names turn up in searches of the official "missing money" website (missingmoney.com), but because we're sticklers for hard-nosed reporting and documentary evidence, and because we did just finish the first draft of our book and thus have nothing better to do, we'll post scans of the list in a bit. It is pretty much the even lamer version of scanning the program for the White House Correspondents' dinner. Boy, is it August.

UPDATE: Sharp-eyed readers also spotted Style scribe "Leibovich Mark" -- a fellow Cleveland Parker!