Finally, a Cult We Can All Get Behind

Being generally liberal when it comes to matters of reproductive freedom, we are not quite willing to believe that this isn’t a strong argument by the FDA for legalization of and easy access to birth control:

In the memo released by the FDA, Dr. Curtis Rosebraugh, an agency medical officer, wrote: “As an example, she [Woodcock] stated that we could not anticipate, or prevent extreme promiscuous behaviors such as the medication taking on an ‘urban legend’ status that would lead adolescents to form sex-based cults centered around the use of Plan B.”

Teenagers of America, you have your marching orders. Get to it.

Also, where the fuck did this “Woodcock” (heh heh heh) character go to high school? The FDA is like two more hack appointees away from just releasing Friday the 13th movies as cautionary instructional videos (do you see what happens when you “experiment”? Do you see?!?).

FDA Faces More Questions on Plan B [Newsday via Hullabaloo]

READ MORE: birth control, fda, fertile teenage wombs, morning after pill, plan b, reproductive rights, sex, sex cults

Coded Messages to Bush’s Base in Last Night’s State of the Union Address

If you’re reading this, you’re probably not a member of the Christian Right. So we thought we’d help you catch up on a couple things you missed. Don’t blame yourself if you didn’t catch these — the coded language of the moral majority grows more complex every year.

In a system of two parties, two chambers and two elected branches, there will always be differences and debate.

Means: This is why Gay Marriage doesn’t work.

In a complex and challenging time, the road of isolationism and protectionism may seem broad and inviting, yet it ends in danger and decline.

Means: You have my permission to kill abortion doctors.

At the start of 2006, more than half the people of our world live in democratic nations. And we do not forget the other half — in places like Syria and Burma, Zimbabwe, North Korea and Iran — because the demands of justice and the peace of this world require their freedom as well.

Means: I am not sure how to pronounce “Myanmar.”

So we’re seeing some old temptations return. Protectionists want to escape competition, pretending that we can keep our high standard of living while walling off our economy.

Means: Protectionism = birth control. Our economy = our nation’s supply of fertile teenage wombs.

Tonight I ask you to pass legislation to prohibit the most egregious abuses of medical research: human cloning in all its forms; creating or implanting embryos for experiments; creating human-animal hybrids;

Means: Even now, I am keeping you, the true believers, safe from a vast army of Mole People living deep beneath the surface of the Earth.

President Bush’s State of the Union Address [WP]

READ MORE: bush, christian right, coded messages, fertile teenage wombs, gay marriage, human-animal hybrids, manimal, mole people, pandering to the base, sotu