This is actually sorta brilliant. Senators Kerry and Kennedy could have stopped the Samuel Alito nomination by EATING HIM.

Lawmaker Chews on Legislation [CNN]

Desperate times, desperate measures:

The Post says this about the Republican push forward on stalled judicial nominations:

So let’s say you’re the governing party and you’re worried about upcoming elections because of high gas prices, low poll numbers, copious scandals, internal discord and an unpopular war. What do you do? For congressional Republicans, the answer is to start a new fight over judges.

The take of the Times is strikingly similar, if less colorfully phrased.

You know the Republicans are in trouble when they start talking about judges. But can you blame them? Judicial nominations have been one of the few bright spots for the Administration.

If you’re lying in a deck chair on the Titanic, you might as well get a nice tan.

Fire Up the Culture Wars [WP]
Republicans Stoke an Old Fire: Judicial Nominations [NYT]

Yes, we’ve already blogged about this Washington Post article. But we missed something that a reader pointed out to us, so kindly permit us to return once more to the well.

(And please cut us some slack for the oversight; we were half-asleep when we read the article. We’re not yet used to waking up this early! To paraphrase Linda Evangelista, here at Wonkette, “We don’t get out of bed for less than $10 a day.”)

A reader wrote to us as follows:

Anyone speaking at a Martin Luther King commemoration, and especially the brother of JFK and RFK, should maybe think twice before using this sort of simile. From the Post:

“For Kennedy, the fight against Alito was more personal than political. On Jan. 16, he had made a Martin Luther King Jr. Day appearance at Faneuil Hall in Boston and was given a standing ovation from a largely black crowd after being introduced as having ‘been fighting for us all week.’

“It was like a pistol shot,” recalled Kennedy, the moment he decided to fight for a filibuster.

Yes, we know — context doesn’t disclose whether Senator Kennedy made this remark at the MLK Day Event or after the fact (although the latter is more likely, given the timing of the filibuster). But unfortunate word choice from Senator Kennedy isn’t beyond the realm of possibility. After all, the man named his dog Splash…

Republicans Were Masters in the Race to Paint Alito [WP]

Earlier: Splash My Bitch Up

Last week, when Senator John F. Kerry issued a vocal call for a filibuster of Supreme Court nominee Samuel A. Alito, Jr. — going so far as to blog about it — many Democrats and Republicans had the same reaction: “What the hell is he thinking?” The fact that Senator Kerry issued this clarion call to arms from Switzerland, of all places, didn’t exactly help. As White House press secretary Scott McClellan put it, “Even for a senator, it takes some pretty serious yodeling to call for a filibuster from a five-star ski resort in the Swiss Alps.” As the New York Times aptly summarized matters, “Democrats cringed and Republicans jeered at the awkwardness of his gesture, which almost no one in the Senate expects to succeed.”

After the Alito cloture vote this afternoon, this will all be nothing more than an embarrassing memory. But, since we had nothing better to do with our weekend, we did some poking around into what might have been running through John Kerry’s elongated head.

The rumor going around in Judiciary Committee circles late last week was that Senator Kerry’s decision to filibuster was staff-driven. Speculation focused in one staff member in particular: Mirah Horowitz, one of Kerry’s chief legal advisors. Horowitz is a liberal lawyer and blonde braniac who previously clerked for Justice Stephen Breyer, before joining a decidedly less successful enterprise — the Kerry presidential campaign.

Was there any truth to this rumor of Mirah Horowitz exercising excessive influence over John Kerry? Details after the jump.

First things first: What does this Mirah Horowitz character look like? We’ve helpfully supplied a picture of her, so you can judge for yourself. She strikes us as the blonde version of the Washingtonienne, Jessica Cutler (but with a Supreme Court clerkship, and without that whole anal-sex-for-cash business).

And how accurate was this rumor of Mirah Horowitz as Lady Macbeth, inciting John Kerry to filibuster by stoking his 2008 ambitions? As you might imagine, this dramatic scenario got us quite excited here at Wonkette. It’s been a long time since an attractive young woman altered the course of political history!

Alas, as is so often the case, reality is less than exciting than rumor. Sources in the Kerry camp report that although Horowitz does play a major role in advising Senator Kerry on matters pertaining to the judiciary, including drafting and reviewing many of his SCOTUS-related speeches, the decision to charge the Alito windmill was Kerry’s own. In fact, it was less staff-driven than most of his decisions, since Kerry was away from Washington when he made it. It was far more influenced by overseas telephone conversations he had with fellow Democratic senators, most notably, Senator Ted Kennedy (who also, by the way, receives occasional advice from Horowitz on judicial matters).

In the end, learning that the Alito filibuster was John Kerry’s brilliant idea really isn’t that surprising to us. It reflects the same shrewd political judgment and unerring strategic insight that Senator Kerry displayed in running his 2004 presidential campaign.

Okay, so maybe Mirah Horowitz can’t singlehandedly cause a senator to filibuster a SCOTUS nominee. But we hear she can do something that, to ex-New Yorkers like ourselves, is equally Mirah-culous. She can get you tickets to Spamalot! (Her father, Dr. Lawrence Horowitz, is a producer of the show.)

Filibuster Alito [Daily Kos]

Kerry Defends Senate Filibuster on Alito as ‘a Vote of History’ [Washington Post]

Kerry Gets Cool Response to Call to Filibuster Alito [New York Times]

Earlier: The Dems vs. Alito: Let’s Hold Hands and Jump
Kerry Takes Action… Kinda

Wonkette operatives with access to “the World Wide Web” have repeatedly alerted me to Sen. John Kerry’s announcement that he supports a filibuster of Judge Samuel Alito, as ordered by The New York Times this morning in its “Senators in Need of a Spine” editorial.

The important question people are asking is what took him so long? Well, he is in Switzerland currently, so he probably just hadn’t seen the paper to read his directive until this afternoon. Or, maybe spines are just cheaper there.

But really, this doesn’t mean much of anything. When it becomes apparent that this is more than a cheap “why didn’t you vote for me?” publicity stunt — i.e., when he convinces enough other senators to support his effort that it matters — then we can talk.

— Chris Geidner

Sen. Kerry calls for filibuster of Alito [CNN]
Senators in Need of a Spine [NYTimes]

• White House backs Sen. McCain's ban on the torture of detainees; noted as a "particularly significant setback" for Cheney. [WP, WP, NYT, USAT, LAT]
• In 2002, Bush authorized the National Security Agency to eavesdrop domestically without needing a court warrant; under pressure from the White House, the New York Times held the story for a year to "conduct additional reporting." Former senior official: "This is really a sea change. It's almost a mainstay of this country that the N.S.A. only does foreign searches." [NYT]
• Republicans try to outmaneuver Democrats on final legislation. Filibuster may be in order for the Patriot Act debate; Republican lawmakers "are increasingly showing independent streaks." [WP, NYT, LAT, LAT]
• Bush on Iraq vote: "There's a lot of joy, as far as I'm concerned, in seeing the Iraqi people accomplish this major milestone in the march to democracy." [NYT]
• Bush doubles proposal for rebuilding New Orleans levees to $3b; new structure would not shield from Category 5 hurricanes. [WP, NYT, USAT]
• Congressional report finds that the administration withheld some prewar intelligence from lawmakers; White House disputes claim. [WP]

• Pentagon kept information about American citizens for longer than necessary. [NYT]
• Democrats attack Bush for asserting Rep. DeLay's innocence. Sen. Reid: "To have someone of his stature, the president of the United States, prejudge a case is something I've never seen before." [WP]
• Rep. Pelosi praises Democrats' diversity of opinions on Iraq: "There is no one Democratic voice." [WP]
• House Republicans support construction of 698 miles of fences along the U.S.-Mexico border. [LAT, NYT, USAT]
• Jack Abramoff pleads guilty to fraud and conspiracy charges in Florida. [WP]

• Democrats threaten to filibuster against the extension of the Patriot Act. Feingold (D-Wis.): "This is worth the fight." [NYT, WSJ, USAT]
• The CIA has secret Counterterrorist Intelligence Centers in more than two dozen countries; new emphasis on cooperation with intel agencies of other countries. [WP]
• 22 Republicans join Democrats to defeat GOP spending plan; "stunned" Republican leaders, left scrambling, pass "softened" bill hours later along party lines, 217 to 215. [WP, NYT, WSJ, LAT]
• Administration's response to its critics stems from 2004 campaign tactics; Bush said to be "happy to be fighting back." [WP, LAT]
• Who was Bob Woodward's source? Executive editor of the Washington Post: "[I]f the information is found independent of our source relationship, sure we'll print it." [WSJ, NYT, NYT]
• Rep. John Murtha (D-Penn.), a Vietnam veteran, tearfully calls for the immediate withdrawal of forces from Iraq; 13 service members from his district have died in Iraq. Murtha: "Our military has done everything that has been asked of them. It is time to bring them home." [WP, NYT, WSJ, LAT, USAT]
• Bush, in South Korea, says a North Korea with nuclear weapons "will not be tolerated"; trip is overshadowed by criticism of Iraq war. [NYT, WSJ, USAT]
• Bush's meeting with Putin "was choreographed to minimize the potential for another display of the tensions that now color their relationship." [USAT]
• Advocacy ads about Alito hit the airwaves. [WP, NYT]
• Americans are feeling more isolationist, less unilateralist, according to Pew study. [NYT]
• Senate Indian Affairs Committee digs into friend of Jack Abramoff. [WP, LAT]

• Samuel Alito rallies the Republican base while riling liberals; the fight "seems to be the political confirmation battle that both sides have been gearing up to fight for more than a decade." Harry Reid: "Bush would leave the Supreme Court looking less like America and more like an old boys club." Orrin Hatch: "This one is going to be Armageddon." [WP, NYT, NYT, NYT, LAT, WT, WT, USAT, USAT]
• Alito will shift court to the right: "On some of the most contentious issues that came before the high court, Alito has been to the right of the centrist swing voter he would replace." [WP, LAT, USAT, USAT]
• Alito's fate rests in the vote of moderate Republicans; filibuster remains available. [WP, LAT]
• Alito was an easy second choice for Bush; Karl Rove phoned key conservative leaders before the announcement. [WT, WT]
• Bush's selection of Alito works to unite his party after misstep of Miers. [WP, LAT]
• Abortion seen as the central issue. [NYT, NYT, LAT]
• Alito "has a strong free-market philosophy likely to please corporate America," say experts. [LAT]
• At trial, Scooter Libby's interests will be divorced from the prerogatives of the White House. [WP]
• More than 30,000 people have paid tribute to Rosa Parks at the Capitol Rotunda. [WP, USAT]
• Scott McClellan takes fire from correspondents. Terry Moran: "There's been a wound to your credibility here. A falsehood, wittingly or unwittingly, was told from this podium." [WP]

• Alito's writings described as "methodical, dry and respectful of precedent." [NYT, LAT]
• Alito's Princeton yearbook notes his Supreme Court ambitions. College roommate: "The notion that he's an extreme conservative is wrong. Sam is conservative because he's a straightforward believer in judicial restraint - that is, a judge's personal views should not dictate the outcome of the case." [WP, NYT, LAT, USAT]
• Alito would be fifth Roman Catholic on the court. [NYT]
• Alito's assets are estimated between $615k and $1.6m. [USAT]
• Cheney taps two longtime aides to assume Libby's former duties. [NYT, LAT]
• The real budgetary fight is rhetorical. [WP]
• Reid on Bush: ""I think he's done a terrible job as president. I think he's going to be known, perhaps, as being the Millard Fillmore of the last 100 years." [WT]

• Bush will nominate conservative appeals court Judge Samuel Alito to the Supreme Court; his resume is similar to John Roberts' and he has upheld restrictions on abortion. [WP, AP, Reuters]
• Filibuster fight may loom. Harry Reid: "If he wants to divert attention from all of his many problems, he can send us somebody that is going to create a lot of problems." Arlen Specter: "There could be a real tough battle here and a real tough fight, depending on whom the president puts up." [WP, NYT, WSJ, LAT]
• 55% in Gallup Poll believe the Bush presidency is a failure; Bush starts a busy week of his comeback strategy with Supreme Court nomination. Nicolle Wallace: "We'll be going around the [media] filter to communicate directly with the American people about the things they care about." [USAT]
• Reid calls for Rove's resignation and an apology from Bush; Rove, meanwhile, "remains in significant [legal] danger." [WP, NYT, WT]
• Bush pays tribute to Rosa Parks at Capitol Hill ceremony. Condoleezza Rice in Montgomery: "I can honestly say that without Mrs. Parks, I probably would not be standing here today as secretary of state." [NYT]
• Scooter Libby "has no sense of entitlement, no sense that he's been victimized. Just an attitude of 'circumstances have to be dealt with,'" says Mary Matalin; friends plan on establishing legal fund as his defense expands. [WP, NYT, WSJ]

• Tim Russert's testimony helped indict Libby. Russert: "We hate being in the middle of what we're reporting on, but it is what it is." [NYT, USAT]
• Bush is losing influence overseas. [WSJ]
• Congressional showdown seen over fiscal restraint. [NYT]
• John Snow is ready and willing for far-reaching tax overhaul. [WSJ]
• Gerald Ford set precedent for Cheney to testify. [WSJ]
• Clinton administration alumni sympathize with current White House scandal victims. [NYT]
• Ted Koppel on the American death toll in Iraq passing 2,000: "The whole mood of the country has changed." [NYT]
• Parties and candidates take in posthumous donations. [WP]
• The phrasing of another Washington scandal: "Government scandals allow ordinary people to use important-sounding language. They let us talk like insiders." [WP]