Metro Section: Symphony in .38 Caliber

• Attention tourists: the following will vastly cut down on the number of dirty looks you receive per hour of touring. [An OC Girl Living In An Extraordinary World]
• Not included in the guide: how do handle crazed violent psychos on the metro. [ Thoreau’s Journal]
• Distinguishing the rapport of a bottle-rocket from a MAC-10 is for more advanced urban tourists. [Cruel Sommer]
• A cell of terrorist haxors has started attacking sites they find while surfing for porn. [The Gentlemen of the CPMC]
• MTV heads to Hawk n’ Dove for the same reason everyone does: hard partying underage interns willing to exploit themselves. [The Hill]

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Metro Section: Brought To You By Vandelay Industries

• The drug habit Washington just can’t seem to kick: responsibility. [Blue Dog Art & Design]
• Democracy without hooch is like cookies without milk. [Another Day In DC]
• Michelle Malkin: “smokin’ hot;” smells of “evil and bullshit.” [The DC Universe]
• Tomorrow’s pre-fireworks concert to be hosted by George Costanza and feature no-talent ass clown Michael Bolton. Thanks Lockheed Martin! [PBS via Melissa the Misanthrope]
• DC has museums for everything. [The Goodspeed Update]

  READ MORE: booze, drugs, fireworks, fourth of july, metro, metro section, michelle malkin, museums, nerds