Today’s Two-Minutes Hate Subject: Blake Gottesman

The guy’s already been the subject of plenty of ink (how many profiles do we need before the press realizes we have a pretty good idea of the importance of Purell to our germaphobe President?), but Time delivers what might be the quintessential “this kid’s going places” story about Presidential personal aide Blake Gottesman. Gottesman, a 26-year-old college dropout, is described as being of one mind with the President, which should be a surprise to absolutely no one. We almost feel bad for the guy, considering that he’s had about 12 pieces written about his proficiency with hand-sanitizer and long-ended relationship with Jenna, but then we recall that his job’s hardest responsibilities include deciding which tchotchkes to save for future library inclusion and remembering which Eddie Bauer catalogs the President hasn’t seen yet. And he makes more than us. Oh, and the Harvard thing. Little bastard.

Who Knows Bush’s Mind Best? [Time]

READ MORE: aides, blake gottesman, george w. bush, hand sanitizer, harvard, harvard business school

Also: This Guy’s Jenna’s Ex

Harvard Student writes best lede of career, all downhill from here:

A 26-year-old college dropout who carries President Bush’s breath mints and makes him peanut butter-and-jelly sandwiches will follow in his boss’s footsteps this fall when he enrolls at Harvard Business School (HBS).

Of course, it’s Harvard, so it was probably plagiarized.

(Right, right, and blatant double-standard, undeserving, etc. etc. Look, the guy’s going to Harvard Business School — isn’t that punishment enough?)

Bush’s Personal Aide To Enroll at Business School [Harvard Crimson]

READ MORE: Media, college dropouts, george w. bush, harvard, harvard business school, jenna bush