Wonkette

• LAMERS: The Huffington Post hears from secret NBC people that America’s Safe Pick, David Gregory, has been tapped to host Meet The Press, replacing interim host Tom Brokaw, who can finally retire and fulfill his lifelong dream of fighting in World War II. If Gregory ends up being the official pick, then… then this really won’t affect our lives much at all. [HuffPo]

The 2008 Georgia Senate runoff — the single most important election since Clinton/Dole — is happening December 2nd, which is technically “tomorrow,” although that can’t possibly be true — it always sounded like something that would be “a few weeks away,” permanently. But it’s tomorrow and [Democrat] will probably lose to ol’ Saxby “Tit Clown” Chambliss. MORE »

A delightfully insane person has e-mailed us and approximately 400 other tip or info lines asking politely if he can be Senator from New York. He wants to take over for two years until Chelsea Clinton is 30 and can rightfully claim her seat. You must read (skim) his full blog post about this. “Oh- I’m just the ’strwaw man- so i’ll read the script, act the part, do the ’show’, and let my handlers, and staff run things- its simpler that way,” he writes, “for 2 years- till chelsea clinton is 30, and can take over the show..” The commentary is interspersed among dozens of photos of celebrities and politicians. [X-WIRE]

Here’s heavy-petting Saxby Chambliss defending himself, on the Fox News, against a Jim Martin ad that quotes Chambliss saying he doesn’t even know what the term “recession” means. We’ll cut him some slack on that, because a new person is declaring a new version of the word everyday. But what’s notable is that Chambliss defends his comment by saying that he was quoting Alan Greenspan, people. He appears still to think that this is the ’90s/early ’00s, when name-dropping Greenspan worked as a blanket defense against criticism or, more importantly, an excuse not to learn anything about economics. This caused several problems. [YouTube]

The Dow Jones fell 679 points today, since it’s been a full six days since Paulson last introduced a new multi-hundred billion dollar loan or loan guarantee program, and everyone on Wall Street is a child: “The day’s news reminded investors, who last week were buying on a burst of optimism, that the economy is still in serious trouble. And at midday, Wall Street had confirmation of what everyone has suspected for months, that the nation is indeed in a recession.” They just wanted to be sure, for the 80th time, that the economy was indeed contracting, and then it was SELL SELL SELL. MORE »

• Here is a list of Obama’s best friends and how much they each paid David Plouffe, per hour, for the privilege of performing sexual favors on the two of them. [Ben Smith]
• Hindsight is 20/20, etc.: Americans warned Indians back in October that hotels in Mumbai would probably be attacked. [The Daily Beast]
• Steve Schmidt, the David Axelrod of failure, has high hopes for castrating boy-wonder Bobby Jindal. [The Corner]
• Al Franken is just 73 votes shy of beating Norm Coleman out to be the new Norm Coleman, though according to the former, there are votes that remain to be counted. [HuffPost]
• Other members of the Alaskan Estates-General are wondering why Sarah Palin keeps avoiding doing anything she was elected to do. [Crooks and Liars]

We went to Joe the Plumber’s DTV homeland security education site to see if Ad #2 had surface yet, and no luck. But here’s a comical form, of sorts, where we are asked whether we “like” this man that the company is paying to endorse their products. In other words, they’re trying to figure out if people are signing up for e-mail updates to learn about their fake plastic space gizmo, or if people just want to be alerted for their next mocking blog post. [Velocity Store]

The FCC has announced a bold new socialist plan to provide wireless Internet all over America, for free! But it won’t have any pr0n, so Americans won’t actually use this free gift. Also, it will be hella slow, as it will be operated by wireless companies forced to do so, by the government, and in competition with the for-profit porn Internet wireless service, which will be super fast. [Silicon Valley Insider/Wall Street Journal]

Everyone loves George W. Bush so much, and even more so when he gets all cute and modest about his epic record of WIN. Over the Thanksgiving holiday, Bush invited hungry street urchin Charles Gibson into his secret Appalachian masturbatorium, Camp David, for a series of interviews with himself and his first lady, Laura. There is a 7-page transcript. Page 3 is where the cool kids are hanging out. MORE »

Barack Obama stands one-hundred feet tall and is made of golden chocolate. So his magical transition podium is a sky-high phallic monument to his greatness and tallness, so all the short ladies he keeps appointing to his Cabinet, for laughs, all look like that terrible Martian from the Flintstones (?!) cartoons with the bug antennae coming out of his fat head. [Gawker]