Remainders: Lynch the Landlord

• ABC News is convinced that foreign diplomats in the US are the most passive-aggressive people on the planet. [The Blotter]
• Congress to Smithsonian: eat shit and die. [LA Times]
• Mojo Nixon campaigns in Texas, “If your state don’t have Kinky Friedman, than your state could use some votin’.” [Mojo Nixon]
• The 2006 federal budget deficit is just barely out of medal contention. [Think Progress]
• The exact price Chris Matthews will pay for transparent knowledge of your soul. [Fishbowl DC]
• College Democrats are sure that you can’t raise money for something unless you dress like a five-dollar hooker. [Truth Caucus]
• Controversy at HUD! Agency only hires women with first names ending in “ee”! Some are cute, some are felons! [The Smoking Gun]

READ MORE: passive-aggressive behavior, Corruption, Remainders, abc, budget deficit, chris matthews, hud, insane theories, reproductive rights, smithsonian

Monkey Trials

Today, U.S. District Judge John E. Jones ruled against the Dover Area School Board’s decision to insert intelligent design into their schools’ science curriculum. A great ruling for anyone who prefers their science to be based less in folklore and more in, uhm, what’s the word for it…oh, yeah: science.

The lawyer who argued the case for the ID sign has, predictably called the ruling “troubling.” And, of course, he’s crazy wrong. You know what troubling is? Troubling is when your HMO sticks you with a physician who thinks he can cure you with a prayer rug and a piece of the true cross. That’s troubling. Though we admit, if we had foreseen conscience clauses that allowed pharmacists to refuse to dispense drugs on the basis of religious belief, we’d have converted to Christian Scientist back in college and would be sitting on our ass at the CVS this very minute.

All of this makes an article from today’s Scotsman incredibly relevant, especially if you want to ruminate on the Lysenkoist voodoo crapola from which Dover just spared itself. It’s a tale about super-warriors in the service of Stalin, a healthy dose of monkey jizz, and the “expensive failure” of what is rightly called Dumbass Design.— DCEIVER

Stalin’s half-man, half-ape super-warriors [The Scotsman]

READ MORE: incompetence, insane theories, intelligent design, scams and flams, seriously, what the fuck?, social dysfunction, top

National Lampoon’s North Korean Vacation

Most days I refuse to open my blinds let alone leave the apartment. And then you have these “extreme travelers” who just returned from North Korea. LAT makes note that one just had a heart operation, another didn’t start traveling till she became a widow at 64, while a third handed over his credit card and said, “fill in the amount.”

Because really, with a maniacal dictator it’s all about trust:

“Totalitarian governments take care of you,” said Altaffer, who lives in Mammoth Lakes when he’s not traveling. “People are always asking me: ‘Aren’t you scared when you travel?’ And I say: ‘Yeah, when I land at LAX.’ “

Bizarre Trip of a Lifetime [LA Times]

World’s Most Traveled People
— Eric Pfeiffer

READ MORE: insane theories, north korea, travel

Bill Bennett’s Planned Parenthood

Yes, yes, yes: The Bill Bennett thing. We’ve refrained from commenting on his assertions that “you could abort every black baby in this country, and your crime rate would go down” largely because, well, in a very literal sense he’s not wrong. Aborting every white baby would also reduce crime, as well as free up space in Ivy League colleges and country and western bars. Aborting every baby of any color would virtually eliminate crime, and we have no idea why someone hasn’t run on that platform before. Bennett himself hedges that “these far-out, these far-reaching, extensive extrapolations are, I think, tricky.” Perhaps he’d like to bet on it?

ALSO: Bennett uttered these words of wisdom on his radio show, which you now know exists.

Media Matters exposes Bennett: “[Y]ou could abort every black baby in this country, and your crime rate would go down” [Media Matters]
RELATED: William Bennett reportedly lost millions gambling [NYT]

READ MORE: bill bennett, gamblers anonymous, insane theories, media matters, race relations