Jean Schmidt’s Evil Twin Wants to Give You $500

As a public service to our readers in Ohio, if your funds are a little low at the moment, you might want to lend a hand to Jennifer Black, better known as Congressthing Jean Schmidt’s evil twin. And it’s easy! All you have to do is find those meanies who keep defacing and/or destroying the pro-life signs on the grounds of the no-doubt ultraswanky Schmidt family farm. Heck, that doesn’t sound very hard: a couple of nights hiding in a field with a shotgun for five franklins? It’s like shooting cultural warrior fish in a barrel. And the opportunity to stand that close to Jean Schmidt’s shared gene pool? Heck, we’d do that for free.

Reward Offered In Abortion Sign Vandalism [WCPO]
Previously: “Jennifer Black”? Seriously? Why Not “Scarlett Evil” Or Something?

READ MORE: Culture War, Republicans, evil twins, jean schmidt, jennifer black, pro-life, vandalism

“Jennifer Black”? Seriously? Why Not “Scarlett Evil” Or Something?

Right, it’s settled, we totally love Republicans.

Blogger too saucy points us toward this Hill piece we somehow missed (we can’t imagine how we’d miss something printed in The Hill, you know) on Rep. Jean Schmidt (R-Crazytown):

Later in the article, while expressing her opinions about young Republican activists, she said, “They look like young Hitlers to me. … They’re so grim and deadly serious about the cause.”

“How are we going to attract mainstream kids to our party, kids who like to have fun and don’t take themselves so seriously?” she asked.

Bennett disputed that Schmidt made the comment, explaining that her twin sister, Jennifer Black, who was also mentioned in the paragraph, made the remark.

Another evil twin! Except that this one seems sort of reasonable to us. ‘Cause College Republicans kinda creep us out too. Though not in a Hitler sense, really. More of a Pierce Bush sense, knahwhatwe’resayin?

Even in ‘84, Schmidt Spoke Her Mind [The Hill]
Is Erica Kane going to be named Secretary of State now? [Too Saucy]
Earlier: New Defense: A Hot Dog Made Him Lose Control

READ MORE: Pierce Bush, Republicans, claude allen, college republicans, crazy mix-ups, evil twins, family, jean schmidt, jennifer black