Oh, Look, It’s the Ides of March: Jessica Cutler’s TV Show
wonkette: sarah jessica parker’s exec producing a sitcom about jessica cutler. seriously, i need something to say beyond “jesus fucking christ i hate america”
operative: i think that works
operative: hey, if it keeps her off the streets….
wonkette: obviously, i just wanted someone else to share my pain
operative: also: America needs to know that lobbyists are not, in fact, the lowest form of Washington life
wonkette: clearly. if they were, there would be sitcoms about them.
operative: also: as if flyover country needed more proof that DC is an amoral wasteland
operative: wait til the tourism board hears about this? heeelllllo, cherry pie, indeed!
operative: SHE GOT A BLENDER
operative: not even A REAL HOOKER
operative: BLENDER
operative: the mind boggles what she’d do for a viking range
wonkette: it certainly doesn’t help the whole dc inferiority complex. our most famous whores make out like runners-up on game shows
operative: most famous whores wear fedoras to their indictment
operative: omg
operative: the ABRAMOFF-CUTLER show!
operative: so best
wonkette: !!!
operative: i would totally watch that
wonkette: sharing an apartment, natch. accidental pda switch leads to HILARIOUS MIX-UPS
operative: doing coke together, talking about body image issues
wonkette: clearly a dharma and greg for the post 9/11 world
D.C. skein gets HBO vote [Variety]
READ MORE: bad ideas, hbo, ides of march, jessica cutler, operatives, scandal, sex, sitcoms, top, tv, washingtonienne
Basing a humorous, but fictional, story on the the Washingtonienne affair? Who in their right minds would ever think to do such a thi--
Oh. Wait.
Nevermind.
Is Boehner a homo or what: he dosen't know who Jessica Simpson is?
Guess Who's Coming To Dinner?
March 15, 2006
By Roll Call Staff
In addition to a porn star, the National Republican Congressional Committee has snagged the wholesome, blonde and buxom Jessica Simpson to attend its fundraising gala on Thursday. House Majority Leader John Boehner (R-Ohio) is the lucky guy who gets to sit next to the "Dukes of Hazzard" star. Not that he would recognize her.
"I'm not even sure if he knows who Jessica Simpson is," the Majority Leader's spokesman, Kevin Madden, told HOH. "Boehner's celebrity recognition standards crashed and burned with the introduction of color television."
by Drudge on 03/15/06 11:19 AM
All I keep picturing is Amy Poehler's one-legged "America's Next Top Model" contestant on SNL. Suppose Ms. Cutler will just stand there for a half-hour cranking her neck around and saying, "Yeah, I fucked a Bush appointee and got a blender...Jealous?"
by Congressman Bob Arnold on 03/15/06 01:11 PM
Excuse me, but considering she hasn't had a picture taken that wasn't in untrahigh drag AND has been photoshopped up the kazoo besides, i bet she could sit next to you at the DMV and you wouldn't know who she was, either.
Not, of course, that it matters. What matters here is that Republicans get the b-list skanks for their "gala" fish fries. I guess they figured, sit her next to Boehner. if her tits are hanging out, hey, no problem -- he's already cross-eyed.
by Hugo de Naranja on 03/15/06 02:06 PM
Wait, i thought Ana and Jessica were like, buddies or something. So what was the falling out like? Was it like that Paris and Nichole thing? Cat fights and shit?
And Drudge -- Jessica Simpson is so heavily modded and photoshopped that if you sat next to her at the DMV you wouldn't know who the fuck whe was, either. The real point here is that the republicans get the b-list skanks for their fish fry, and then have to seat them somewhere, and where better than next to Boenher? If her tis fall out of her dress, he's already cross-eyed, so no problemo.
by Hugo de Naranja on 03/15/06 02:18 PM
How's this for a title for Cutler-Abramoff pilot?
(I picture an oddball buddy cop show.)
Jack-Off and Roundheels
by David in DC on 03/15/06 03:49 PM
You know, I thought the disappearance of my post was my own fault, thus the rewrite. Sorry about that.
by Hugo de Naranja on 03/15/06 04:06 PM
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