Robert Steinbuch Is Searching for Jessica Cutler’s True Spanker

Now, courtesy of the Legal Times, a quick update on a case that’s far more interesting than Enron: Steinbuch v. Cutler.

The article speaks for itself — res ipsa loquitur — and it’s well worth reading in its entirety. If you’re wondering about whether Steinbuch has a case and what Jessica’s best defenses are, they’re laid out in the piece, which features analysis from law professor and blogger Daniel Solove (among others).

Here’s our favorite excerpt, proving that truth can be stranger than fiction:

It’s hard to know why anyone would care to set the record straight about whether he is able to ejaculate with or without a condom or whether he likes to spank or be spanked. But [Steinbuch attorney Jonathan] Rosen says that’s exactly what Steinbuch intends to do.

“There are graphic and intimate details which are not true,” he said in a telephone interview. “Those are facts that are going to be litigated.”

To summarize the Legal Times piece: Steinbuch v. Cutler represents Robert Steinbuch’s attempt to clear his name. He wants the world to know that he’s good in bed. Really good.

Very well, Professor Steinbuch: you’re GREAT in bed. There, it’s established. It has been printed. In a blog.

Boy, that was an easy problem to solve. Did you really have to go make a federal case out of it?

A Man Scorned [Legal Times]

(For those of you who can’t get enough of Jessica Cutler, we share a random story about a reading she did last month in New York, after the jump. Note: It’s not for the squeamish.)

Here’s an account of the reading from our eyewitness correspondent:

You may be tired of Jessica Cutler, but unfortunately, I’m not. I saw her read at this:

IN THE FLESH EROTIC READING SERIES
TRUE SEX CONFESSIONS NIGHT
WEDNESDAY APRIL 19 at 8 PM
AT HAPPY ENDING LOUNGE, 302 BROOME STREET
(B/D to Grand, J/M/Z to Bowery, F to Delancey, http://www.happyendinglounge.com
Admission: Free
Happy Ending Lounge: 212-334-9676
http://inthefleshreadingseries.blogspot.com

She read a very entertaining piece about leaving a tampon in for a week. It had to do with a guy (a reporter, who apparently claims to have slept with Colin Powell’s daughter), who had a huge dick, and had shoved a forgotten tampon all the way up, where it stayed for a week, the stench growing and growing, until she finally went to the gyno to have the stench taken care of… at which point she told him, when he was breaking it off with her, that she didn’t really want to kiss a guy who had been eating out a rotting tampon all week. Oh, and he was doing her best friend. Because, what would a Jessica story be without the betrayal of a best friend?

Anyway, it was very amusing.

READ MORE: jessica cutler, law, law suits, lawyers, paul friedman, robert steinbuch, sex, sex scandal, sex scandals, washingtonienne