Having finally recovered from Prom, Chatology returned to her perch on the couch to sit through 3.5 hours of bone-grindingly obvious talking points. We’re used to butt-punishing workouts, but this is not our favorite among them. That said, a surprisingly sexy Sunday morning. ALSO<\/span>: Can’t get enough of that wacky Bush impressionist? We can.<\/p>

Top Topics:
•<\/b> Michael Hayden, spook or just creep? Rep. Pete Hoekstra makes news by negation: Hayden “is the wrong man at the wrong place at the wrong time.” McCain is more loving.
•<\/b> ‘06 sickness\/Congressional “culture of corruption,” with Republicans showing Reaganesque — which is to say, delusional — optimism.
•<\/b> Goss’s departure: Not did he jump or was he pushed but rather, “Pushed, shoved, or run over with a truck and stomped on the face?”<\/p>

Quotes to live by:
•<\/b> Saxby Chambliss on Hayden: He is “just a class individual” (as someone who questioned the patriotism of a paraplegic, he knows class!)
•<\/b> George Stephanopolous makes right wing bias hunters’ heads explode: “That was not one of the top four pieces of legislation that Speaker Pelosi…ah, I don’t know why I have that stuck in my head today…”
•<\/b> Chris Wallace masters the obvious: “I don’t have to tell you, you are the chairman of the intelligence committee.”
•<\/b> George Will teases the Kennedy story: “One reason this story touched all of this city’s erogenous zones…”
•<\/b> Bill Kristol looks on the bright side: “I’m looking forward to getting more sex into this scandal.”
•<\/b> David Brooks auditions to be Maureen Dowd: “This has more layers than a Tom Clancy novel.”<\/p>

Your full-on weekend chat soup after the jump.<\/p>

THIS WEEK<\/span><\/a>
Podcast<\/a>, webcast<\/a><\/p>

Dianne Feinstein<\/b>, swathed in pink — perhaps not the best choice for a woman talking about national security issues. She’s concerned about Hayden taking over the CIA <\/span>(“It’s a civilian agency.”) and, of course, NSA <\/span>wiretap. Saxby Chambliss<\/b> — winner of the Senate’s Most Awesomest Name contest (Olympia Snowe second runner-up) — says he shares concern about military running the CIA, <\/span>but “at the end of the day,” Hayden is “just a class individual” (as someone who questioned the patriotism of a paraplegic, he knows class!).<\/p>

I want to make clear that I like Dianne Feinstein. I do. But she should not have worn pink (though it’s a nice color on her). Also she had Jack Nicholson eyes. Perhaps it’s time to do a Delay?<\/p>

Discussion of CIA’<\/span>s problems, morale, lack of intelligence, and Porter Goss’s mistakes (DF: shouldn’t have brought his Hill staff over); Saxby says we can’t continue to let the people who let 9\/11 happen run the agency…White House, fine, but not the agency. The buck stops over there.<\/p>

Feinstein laying into pre-war Iraq intel, showing an emotion beyond “Ambien hangover” for the first time this morning.<\/p>

Tom DeLay<\/b> up now — what with Scott McClellan<\/b> coming up, it’s disgraced former lackeys day on This Week! George Stephanopolous<\/b> shows gas prices, poll numbers and asks about Republican House races. DeLay shows the optimism of a smiling mug shot: “none of these things will effect the races.”<\/p>

“We are paying the price of Democrat policies.” Uh, right. Because they control the House, Senate, White House… uhm… wait…<\/p>

Asked what reasons he’d tell a voter to vote Republican: “Look at the alternative” — and rattles off culture war issues. So that’s how they’re going to play it. This is going to be a long summer…<\/p>

On the “culture of corruption” charge, DeLay snaps back: “Howard Dean<\/b> is creating a culture of hypocrisy.” Says something about Pelosi being “found guilty” of ethics violations, which makes it sound like she had a trial or something. And, **** , my brain is going to explode, he just criticized the Democrats for playing the “politics of personal destruction.”<\/p>

Dean comes in, and, in his first talk block has the biggest snap of morning: “I’m not going to get into an argument with a guy who’s on his way out of Congress.” George Stephanopolous brings up the Dems who are under ethics investigations. Dean says Dems ASKED <\/span>for investigations, that’s one difference. Then we get a list of Republicans under investigation. This is not helpful, particularly, but it’s what Dean has. Is also wearing blue button-down collar shirt, with shmutz on the lapel of his jacket. Who dresses this man?<\/p>

George Stephanopolous asks if William Jefferson should resign if found guilty. Dean: “Yes.” GS: “Really?” Dean: “Yes.” I think George thought there might be some discussion of that.<\/p>

And now for the line that will cause a wingnut blogasm, George: “That was not one of the top four pieces of legislation that Speaker Pelosi…ah, I don’t know why I have that stuck in my head today…”
Dean: “I like the sound of that, George.”<\/p>

I personally don’t think it’s bias toward the Dems, George is just a VERY <\/span>excited about the midterms this year.<\/p>

George Stephanopolous quotes RNC <\/span>talking points about Dems’ intention to impeach Bush. Dean: “They just make that stuff up over there at the RNC.<\/span>” I kind of love the belligerent Dean. He’s got a weird anti-charisma, and he’s pissed: “The day has come and gone when this nation is going to believe Republicans about anything.”<\/p>

Roundtable with Martha Raddatz, George Will<\/b> and the incredibly tiresome Katrina Vanden Huevel<\/b>.<\/p>

On Goss, Will teases: “One reason this story touched all of this city’s erogenous zones…” But then somehow escapes mentioning hookers at the Watergate. Leave that to Katrina, who gets positively giddy in being able to say out loud: “poker games and prostitutes” in relation to the dismantling of the nation’s intelligence infrastructure. Raddatz plays down the angle though it is getting mention “in the blog world.”<\/p>

Raddatz points outs that if you look at the reasons given for Goss’s departure — people didn’t like him, he was a bad administrator — “And yet Don Rumsfeld remains.”<\/p>

Turning to Hayden, Will predicts a huge fight. Katrina is itching for one. Finally, a chance to hammer someone on NSA <\/span>wiretaps in a confirmation hearing. Raddatz notes that “the public does not seem terribly upset.” A bigger problem? Lack of experience with “human intelligence.” Katrina tries for the easy joke: “We need a lot more human intelligence in this city.”<\/p>

Camera pulled back to reveal that Martha is wearing kitten heel sandals, which makes me like her. Katrina, on the other hand, is dressed like Freudian analyst on a first date.<\/p>

Usual show biz segment is devoted to Scotty McClellan<\/b>, who is finally smiling for real. “Most secretaries don’t miss the podium, but they miss the job.” Talks about the importance of humor. “That’s one piece of advice I’d give anyone who wants this job.” Who in the **** ing world would want that job. Or maybe that’s the joke…<\/p>

FOX NEWS SUNDAY<\/span><\/a>
Hoekstra interview<\/a>, Biden\/Specter interview<\/a><\/p>

Hoekstra<\/b> repeats the concern about having a general in charge of the CIA.<\/span> Would “send the wrong message to our agents around the world.” Wallace:<\/b> “You think the perception is that he’d be under the sway of Rumsfeld?” Hoekstra: Duh.<\/p>

He explains, very deftly, WHY <\/span>people are concerned about having the military take over intelligence: the military cares about the danger that exists today. The CIA’<\/span>s job is to advise on intelligence that will effect policy, winning wars is a different job.<\/p>

Wallace: “I don’t have to tell you, you are the chairman of the intelligence committee.” One would hope so. “Nothing I’ve said to you today will come as a surprise to the White House.” But he’s not concerned about having to work with him — “Mike and I have a very good personal relationship.” On Goss, “I talked to him on Friday and I had no idea… The guy can<\/em> keep secrets!”<\/p>

Responding to Harman’s crit that “300 years of intelligence” have been lost under Goss, Hoekstra says that the agency was in “free fall” BEFORE Goss came on, he’s not surprised that losses continued. He’s concerned about the possibility that under the new director, the agency will become more bureaucratic. “We will push on that.”<\/p>

And this will come as a shock to many, but both Arlen Specter and Joe Biden<\/b> are on. Good thing they’re in separate studios with their own personal cameras. Wallace asks about how the WH “wouldn’t mind a fight” at the confirmation because it would show Dems to be soft on national security. “That’s ridiculous.”<\/p>

Specter says he looks forward to the confirmation as “we might be able to find out what exactly Michael Hayden was doing.” Would Specter hold up the nomination in order get answers? “I’m not making any predictions…. I want to know what the program is. We cannot judge its constitutionality until we know what it is.”<\/p>

Immigration: Are Democrats ready to vote, up or down? Biden blames the children in the House. “We’ve been stiffed by the House.” He gives a lot credit to Arlen for getting the McCain-Kennedy out of committee. “If he’s one of the conferees, we might not get rolled by the House.”<\/p>

On Judge Kavenaugh: Biden says “I have no line in the sand.” On Boyle, however: “I am unalterably opposed.” Well. Specter says he’s studying Boyle’s “potential conflicts of interest… where there may be a line in the sand for the Democrats that would be justified.” Wallace wants to know if Boyle would present the kind of “extraordinary circumstances” triggering a Gang of 14 filibuster. No, says Specter, conflict of interest is simply a disqualifier on its own. And Kavenaugh, definitely no.<\/p>

Biden talks on his three-state plan for Iraq. “The sectarian genie is out of the bottle.” Besides, “Who else offers a plan?” Good point.<\/p>

Roundtable: Brit Hume, Mara Liasson, Bill Kristol, Juan Williams.<\/b><\/p>

Wallace opens: “In a town where no one likes to admit they’re surprised,” everyone was surprised. I would like to note that this a theme of my book and that Chris has copy of it on his desk at this very moment.<\/p>

Mara Liasson: OMG WHAT<\/span> IS SHE WEARING<\/span>!?!?! There is glowing, radioactive alien hairball on her lapel. Anyway: CIA <\/span>is “a regular mess.” Also Bush wanted him out for a long time.<\/p>

Kristol: Goss was “trying to do what he needed to do… and his reward was to be fired… it’s an outrage and a terrible signl to conservatives” in government. CIA <\/span>will become a “mini-State department” full of bureaucrats where Bush’s “foreign policy agenda” will not be a priority. Riiiiiight. That’s why BUSH <\/span>fired him? Kristol is genuinely outraged but it’s hard to parse how the White House would participate in it’s own disenfranchisement from the CIA.<\/span><\/p>

Juan Williams says something.<\/p>

Hume believes that Goss was “trying to do the right thing” but was unable to. “It’s way too early to conclude who won and who lost.” Kristol says Hoekstra used military objection to Hayden as a stalking horse for his real objection: Hayden is a bureaucrat with no human intel experience.<\/p>

Juan Williams says something. (Wonkette readers may be interested to know that he tosses out Fran Townsend as a possible Goss replacement.)<\/p>

Now onto “Congressmen behaving badly,” “who has the upper hand now?” Wallace teases. Wallace calls Kennedy car accident as “the saddest” incident. Hume says that Capitol police reverted to traditional role, “to protect these people, not to arrest them.” He’s surprisingly sympathetic and points out that it’s a very different kind of scandal than the others in the paper: It’s not the kind of thing that gave rise to “the culture of corruption” in either party.<\/p>

Mara’s hair could withstand a windtunnel. Says that the Dem money scandals just reinforce public perception that “everyone does it.” Kristol STEALS<\/span> MY LINE<\/span>: admits that “I’ve had a hard time following these scandals… they’re all about money and it’s hard to follow, and this week I must admit I got interested, with the talk of poker parties at the Watergate and the procurement of prostitutes.” Passes on a curious piece of folk wisdom garnered from Mara: “You don’t procure prostitutes for JUST ONE <\/span>congressman.” Economies of scale I suppose. “I’m looking forward to getting more sex into this scandal.” Mrs. Kristol has some odd turn-ons, I guess.<\/p>

Fox News Sunday mugs are now available. The perfect gift for someone who does spit takes over the New York Times.<\/p>

FACE THE NATION<\/span><\/a>
Transcript<\/a>, podcast<\/a>, Schieffer’s last word<\/a><\/p>

Bob Schieffer<\/b> dropped some acid before picking out his tie this morning. Or, rather, you will feel like you’ve dropped some acid if you look at it. Just drink this orange juice and stay away from the windows. He introduces guest John McCain<\/b> with the big question: “Is he running for president?” You know, if Bob hasn’t figured this out then I’m not sure he should interviewing McCain to begin with.<\/p>

McCain backs Hayden, despite Chambliss and Hoekstra’s objections. “With all due respect to my colleagues… Hayden is more of an intelligence expert than an Air Force officer.” Does the Air Force know this? Call CIA <\/span>director “the toughest job in Washington.” Doesn’t want the hearings to drag out, though “I want to give this a thorough hearing.” I wonder if his inner thighs hurt after all that straddling.<\/p>

Russia talk. McCain paints a picture of Putin trying to “recreate the old Russian empire,” including jailing dissidents and their support for the dictator of Belaruse. Mentions his support of Bush boycotting the G8 in St. Petersberg. “I hope he’ll have a frank discussion with Vladamir, who I know he has a good personal relationship with. But personal relationships end where oppression and repression begin.” Not straddling anything on that one.<\/p>

On to Palestine. (All this foreign policy talk sure would be helpful to someone running for president.) Can’t recognize Palestine until they renounce desire to bring an end to Israel. Will announce candidacy for president next year, “right here on Face the Nation.”<\/p>

The Falwell question. McCain puts it into context of all the speeches he gives at many universities. He and Falwell have “put our differences behind us.” Keeps saying that he loves talking to “students” at “these universities.” As for the sucking up: “I feel honored to be invited to speak there and other schools.” Talking points remain steadfast even if McCain doesn’t.<\/p>

Something he’s a little more comfortable talking about: Earmarks. “It’s a shameful practice.” Wants president to veto spending until it “gets down to his number.”<\/p>

Roundtable: Colbert King and David Brooks<\/b><\/p>

Brooks is surprised by the opposition to Hayden. “Fear of Rumsfeld” is driving it, not fear of Hayden. Colbert surprised as well, notes Hoekstra “wrong man, wrong time, wrong place” mantra. Bob is also surprised. We’re all just shocked, really.<\/p>

“This has more layers than a Tom Clancy novel,” says Brooks, which suggests that there should be more handsome people involved. And guns. And awkward sex scenes. And it would actually be easier to follow.<\/p>

Colbert has going point: Goodbye platitudes at the resignation announcement, but WH staff going on background to say Bush had lost faith in Goss. “No wonder people are cynical.”<\/p>

King and Brooks both give McCain a pass on Liberty University speech. Brooks: “It’s not going to change who he is… He’s the class clown in the back of the room, saying ‘Oh, give me a break.’” I don’t think you can be front runner from the back of the room but whatever…<\/p>

Schieffer’s final word on the Star Spangled La Bamba is cogent: Cites the times when American icons have been used in other revolutionary contexts, including the paper maiche Statue of Liberty in Tianamen Square; “when people adopt our symbols of freedom, it makes them stronger, not weaker.” Word.<\/p>

MEET THE PRESS<\/span><\/a>
Transcript<\/a>, netcast<\/a>, podcast<\/a><\/p>

Pelosi<\/b> is wearing a lime sherbet colored blazer and distracting mascara. Did Porter Goss leave voluntarily? “No.” She’s all about bipartisanship in intel but then pops up with Goss’s connection to “Republican scandals.” She’s careful: “I have NO THOUGHT <\/span>that he is caught up in it,” but talks about his questionable appointment of Foggo.<\/p>

She has serious concerns about Hayden. His connections to NSA <\/span>wiretaps, specifically, but says that shouldn’t be a topic in confirmation hearings. Hm. Criticizes the “clique” of the intelligence community, “it’s all just musical chairs.” She speaks in a strange, urgent whisper.<\/p>

NSA <\/span>wiretaps, “we shouldn’t violate the law just because they don’t have enough lawyers.” Tries to stay on the side of intelligence gathering but not endorse this specific program, uses “protect the American people” A LOT.<\/span><\/p>

She has recently come out in favor of withdrawal from Iraq… why the change of heart? Well, there’s this great guy, John Murtha… Jeez, NOW <\/span>she backs him… what a spineless ninny. Of course, a lot of things have changed: “The President continues to dig a hole in Iraq.” All the Democrats are united around the idea of “significant transition” in Iraq in 2006. Yeah yeah.<\/p>

Gas prices: It’s a national security issue and domestic issue. “We intend to achieve energy independence in 10 years.” How to support this? Would you repeal the Bush tax cut? Tim: “It all takes money.” She refuses to answer, says that ending the war in Iraq would also give them the money they need. Democrats have a goal, a timetable, a plan. Just not the power.<\/p>

Balanced budget: Democrats are committed to pay as you go, and there will be “no deficit spending.” Lots of Clinton budget surplus nostalgia. She almost gets misty-eyed.<\/p>

Taking the House: She’s not measuring for draperies, but she does want the people to know what they’ll do if they do win. Tim: Would Conyers try to impeach Bush? Pelosi: “We are not about impeachment.” There will be investigations, and hearings, tea parties and treehouses. She also says that “you don’t DECIDE <\/span>to impeach,” you go where the facts take you. This is a good point.<\/p>

Culture of corruption gets the usual “but what about the Dems” spin. Insists it’s worse for Republicans. I am just really bored right now and will stop commenting unless she veers from talking points.<\/p>

Minutes pass.<\/p>

Roundtable: Dan Balz and Todd Purdum<\/b>.<\/p>

Lead with all the horrible polls, including high disapproval from conservatives. “Dan Balz, explain.” And then he does: “Iraq… gas.” It’s not a tough question, it’s true. “The Democrats’ optimism may be slightly displaced and they are setting expections very high…. if they don’t take the house, they might feel like they lost the election.” Well said.<\/p>

Clips from Cheney interview this morning. Will he bow out to give the President a chance to pick a successor? No, no, no. Balz agrees that it’s highly unlikely… Purdum talks about his VF profile and how Cheney has changed since the 70s. “He’s always been much more conservative than people knew.”<\/p>

I kind of love how Cheney continues to insist “we are viewed as liberators.” Balz notes that “people see a different reality.” I would say, they see reality.<\/p>

Steve Bridges<\/b>, professional Bush impersonator comes on… and Tim is treating him like it was a real interview. I find this kind of humiliating but the bar is low for humor Sunday shows.<\/p>

“Why did you fire Porter Goss?”
“It’s a secret.”<\/p>

Lots of uncomfortable laughter at not great jokes.<\/p>

The clip from the Correspondents Dinner comparatively hilarious.<\/p>

Now interviewing Bridges as himself. Whew. Two and half hours of make-up go into it. That’s more time than Bush spends preparing for debates. Tim asks about “crossing the line.” Bridges has politic answer: “I want to make people laugh…without being mean.”<\/p>

No one at Atrios will believe me, but I personally have no problem with mean. Tim is so clearly energized by this interview it makes me a little sad. Bridges is talking about how Bush’s mannerisms “endear him” to people. So much for mean.<\/p>

He then makes Todd and Dan ask Bridges questions in character. I think maybe he’s giving Tony Snow an idea.<\/p>

“The more I get into it, the more I find myself backing away,” from political views. He says he has to focus on the funny. Personally I find having political beliefs helps makes things funny — it gives you something to be pissed off about.<\/p> 
Comment on this post http://www.wonkette.com/politics/chatology/chatology-no-problem-with-mean-172207.php http://www.wonkette.com/politics/chatology/chatology-no-problem-with-mean-172207.php chatology Mon, 08 May 2006 11:16:35 -0500

In this edition of Chatology, Department of Homeland Security head Michael Chertoff pulls a half-Ginsburg, spinning through both Meet the Press and This Week. On various issues, Chertoff blames Michael Brown, Mary Matalin blames the media, Joe Lieberman blames Chertoff, Evan Bayh blames the Democrats, and David Gregory blames himself. Random wisdom from Ari Fleischer: “You can be right and still be bonkers.” Speaking of which: Cheney is “almost like the wizard dealing with the muggles” — Howard Fineman.<\/p>

Full rundown and highlights after the jump.<\/p>

[Ed. note: Don’t miss Ana Marie Cox’s appearance at the National Press Club, this Wednesday, February 22, at 6:30 PM.<\/span> For more details, as well as information about how to obtain tickets to this free event, click here<\/a>.]<\/p>

Hot topics<\/u>:
•<\/b> Were you aware that the vice president shot a man in the face? Funny because it’s true!
•<\/b> Sale of American ports<\/a> to Dubai Ports World, a company headquartered in the terrorist-friendly (or at least agnostic) United Arab Emirates.
•<\/b> Playing the Katrina blame game.
•<\/b> Hamas\/FISA in scary world-shaking tie for last place.
(Either issue would have been a more grown up topic for discussion than the top three actual winners.)<\/p>

One hit wonders<\/u>:
•<\/b> Shaquille O’N<\/span>eal vows to be sheriff “somewhere, someplace” post-NBA career. (“This Week”)
•<\/b> Bob Shieffer hearts Rummy: “Frankly, I like the guy.” (“Face the Nation”)<\/p>

Quotes to live by<\/u>:
•<\/b> Matalin defends Cheney: “He was not following the ‘convention rules’ but he wasn’t doing anything invalid.”
•<\/b> Former Senator Alan Simpson goes Dan Rather on us: “Let me tell you, those who don’t like him have put a big red tail on his bum, and cloven hooves, and horns on his head. And let me tell you,
if anybody thinks ‘if this had happened to anybody else in America,’ it would have been like a sparrow belch in a typhoon.”
•<\/b> Gregory apologizes: “I’m the only one here representing the White House press corps, I think one thing we may have missed this week is empathy for the vice president.” Just what we need: Anderson Cooper, White House correspondent.
—————
Meet the Press
Transcript<\/a>, webcast<\/a>, podcast<\/a><\/p>

First up: Michael Chertoff. He looks less John Waters, but he is wearing a very gay pale green tie. Still looks a little like Skeletor<\/a>. Gay Skeletor. Is telling Russert in response to Congressional “Failure of Initiative” Report that he’s going to work “24-7 to make this department as great as it can be.” Will also give 110 percent? What about thinking outside the box? We worry when the person in charge of defending us against terrorism starts sounding like Ricky Gervais.<\/p>

Touts the “success” story of the Coast Guard’s evacuations. I suppose if you don’t consider the need for emergency evacuations themselves as a problem… Katrina: The Mother Of All Mistakertunities.<\/p>

Ah, the Katrina finger pointing game. Like spin the bottle but what’s being whirled around is the deaths of hundreds of people. Chertoff says that before the hurricane, he asked, “Is there anything you need from us?” He reports that “I was told we’ve got everything we needed.” Wow — that buck passed faster than a White Castle Value Meal.<\/p>

“We have to acknowledge that this hurricane is simply overwhelming… you’ll never have a catastrophe that will not have its …share of suffering and not have its pain… we aspire to do a lot better but we have to be realistic about the nature of the challenge.” Chertoff now blames God. Or, wait, in his testimony he said, “Is this not just an inherent overwhelming challenge, but is Mike Brown not up to this?” Never mind God — you’re in the clear.<\/p>

On Brownie doing a “heck of a job”: “Brown had been up for practically every night for the past few days… we were in the middle of the event and we were trying to keep everyone’s spirits up… as a human matter, you want to reach out and pat them on the back. You want to buck them up.” Hey, I think the people outside the convention center also could have used — as a human matter — a pat on the back. That and some water<\/i>.<\/p>

Further defending the lack of a decision to boot Brown’s ass back to the stables: “That’s not the time for doing finger-pointing or doing brutal assessments of people’s performance.” Actually, I’d say that if people are are not managing well during the disaster, that would be a good time to fire them. Before, you know, it gets worse. That’s not “finger pointing;” it’s managing.<\/p>

Tim asks about fraud: “$150 dollars for products at Condoms to Go. How does that happen?” Yeah, that’s been bugging me — how do you spend hundreds of dollars ON CONDOMS<\/span>? Gold plated French ticklers? Crystal encrusted cock rings?<\/p>

Speaking of cock-ups: Tim asks about the $850 million in mobile homes in Arkansas that can’t be used. “Oh, they will be used!” says Chertoff. “It’s just a question of where they go.” It’s just that, well, some places are flooded and other places don’t want a thousand trailers installed in their town. So it’s unclear where they’ll go or get used. Maybe for those displaced by the Western wildfires, he says. In which case we’ll send them to Delaware.<\/p>

Chertoff’s objection to disassembling DHS<\/span>: “Catastrophes don’t come labeled. Sometimes you know it’s a natural disaster, sometimes you know it’s a terrorist act, sometimes you don’t know!” Here’s a hint: Terrorists unlikely to use hurricanes. God unlikely to use commercial airplanes.<\/p>

Query about port purchases by a company from Dubai, aka The United Arab Emirates — a country with multiple connections to the 9\/11 attack — receives this response: “We require a very careful review.” Also we need to maintain a “robust trading environment.” Translation: US companies won’t guard our ports for what the government pays.<\/p>

“What comfort can we take in knowing that the DHS <\/span>is protecting us?” asks Tim. Not really so much. “It’s an immature department.” Well, it certainly looks childish now.<\/p>

Panel time with Maureeen Dowd, Paul Gigot, David Gregory, Mary Matalin.<\/p>

First question to Matalin. Cheney says it’s his fault, but originally didn’t Armstrong say Whittington “did not follow protocol”?<\/p>

OMG WHAT<\/span> IS THAT<\/span> ON MATALIN’S CHEST<\/span>!! A triffid? Some kind of hideous weapon? Duck, David Gregory, duck! Also her hair seems to be levitating. And she’s wearing one of those Star Trek jackets that seem to be standard issue for the women on the chat shows these days.<\/p>

Anyway: She says that the veep’s immediate reaction was one of “profuse apologies.” Apparently, wire stories are less accurate than local stories which are reported by people who “understand the culture of Texas.” Where people apparently get shot in the face all the time. Insert don’t mess with joke here.<\/p>

Why the delay to talk to the sheriff? Why wait 14 hours? “It took the Washington Post an entire week to speak to the culture of rural enforcement in hunting area of South Texas… there’s a presumption of accident!” I would not want to get shot in rural Texas.<\/p>

The alcohol question. Armstrong said that there was no drinking during the hunt. But the veep had a beer! “Should we take him at his word that it was a beer?” Matalin asks “Does anyone here believe that the Secret Service would let the vice president drink and then go out and hunt?” Wait, it’s the SECRET SERVICE’S <\/span>responsibility to make sure you don’t drink and handle fire arms? No wonder so many other people in South Texas get shot in the face.<\/p>

Pressed on whether Cheney should have reported the incident earlier, Matalin resorts to massive, clawlike air quotes: “The problem with these ‘rules’ is that people think they’re inviolate…. He was not following the ‘convention rules’ but he wasn’t doing anything invalid.” Sort of like how leaking the name of an undercover CIA <\/span>agent is not following “conventional rules.” Amazing how quickly the administration has discarded the “infallible neocon” image for the “snowboarding Mountain Dew pitchman” one.<\/p>

I think David Gregory must be tied down in his chair to not jump in during this. He’s like a caged tiger by now. A caged monkey.<\/p>

Oh there’s Gregory. He’s smiling a tight, rictus smile, but not without some delight.<\/p>

Matalin prattles on about how there was a “human response before a political response.” I bet that dial tested well.<\/p>

Now to Gregory. Clip of the great Scotty-David bout, recitiation of the gaggle “jerk” exchange. They’ve found the most unflattering, grim photo of Gregory to run with it. But listen, he’s been taking lessons from Cheney: He apologies, he regrets doing it. Why? “As my wife has reminded me, you should never speak that way… and it created a diversion.” The non-apology apology. “I’m sorry if what I did made you mad.”<\/p>

And the apology gets wobblier: “They can go after us for the way we try to get answers, but I don’t apologize for pushing hard for answers.” But, wait, isn’t that how you try to get answers? Proceeds to wrap self in flag, sort of. “We are the proxy of the American people!” Sadly, I think more Americans identify with Scott McClellan. Except, you know, Scott doesn’t sway anywhere near so dreamily when he listens to Hillary Duff<\/a>.<\/p>

Tim reads from Paul Gigot’s painfully obvious “satire” of the press corp’s agenda. He is disappointed in them. “I think scandal standards are declining in Washington if this becomes another big huge scandal that’s supposed to be a metaphor for government.” Yeah, it’s a real step down from, oh, let’s say Whitewater.<\/p>

To MoDo with the TIME <\/span>poll saying that Americans are pretty divided on the handling of the shooting, they think he’s secretive, and that it was an accident. Basically your typically scattershot CW.<\/span> As it were. MoDo compares him to “The Shadow.” What, not “V for Vendetta”? (Geeking out, I must point out that the Shadow was a force of good.) She does imply that he destroys democratic institutions. Fashion note: She’s wearing a gold brocade Star Trek uniform.<\/p>

Matalin mocks the idea that anyone in the Washington press corps would adhere to “the process” of informing the press in general about major executive branch events like the veep shooting someone in the face. “I suppose if I called David here” and she wanted tell him and only him, “neither he nor any of his colleagues would say, ‘No, let’s go through the procress, let’s call the pool.’” I think the point she WANTS <\/span>to make is that the WH reporters are jealous<\/i> of the Corpus Christie Shopper or whatever but I’m not sure that anyone (even Gregory) thinks that he should been called instead of the Corpus Christie Shopper. Okay, maybe Gregory thinks that but he would never say it.<\/p>

I thought Gregory was being sedate. I think now he’s sedated. Asks if the veep office handled it so well, then why the big interview with Brit? Matalin: “Because you went on a jihad against us.” Gregory: “I don’t know if that’s the best word to use.” Snap! Gregory all but rolls his eyes and shoots his cuffs. Matalin: “Oh were you saving up for that line?” (Complete non sequitour.)<\/p>

MoDo says something about Geneva conventions, Iraq, FISA.<\/span> Matalin pats her hair with mock casualness and boredom like the leader of a girl gang about to fillet some chick. Gigot says that “FISA is a little different than a shooting incident.” True: Eventually they told the press about the shooting incident.<\/p>

Roll clip of Hillary talking about secretiveness of administration. Matalin says Hillary should have come out and talked about how we should pass our thoughts and prayers to Mr. Whittington and then maybe disagreed about policy. Then “Maureen Dowd, the diva of the smart set, would be swooning.” Cut to MoDo. Not swooning.<\/p>

Gregory wants to put his fingers in the human feeling pit: “I’m the only one here representing the White House press corps, I think one thing we may have missed this week is empathy for the vice president.” Where is the angry monkey man I have come to love? EMPATHY FOR THE VICE PRESIDENT<\/span>? Hello, he shot someone and then didn’t tell anyone. Imagine Woodward and Bernstein: “You know, Nixon has been having a really rough time…”<\/p>

Paul Gigot bemoans how every political debate in Washington “immediately goes to DefCon 1.” We need to acknowledge the “human factor.” BUT THE VICE PRESIDENT ISN’T HUMAN.<\/span><\/p>

Matalin insists that they didn’t have a complete set of facts, and that “an evolving set of facts” is worse than “no facts.” How comforting. Okay, the shooting incident may not be a metaphor for Iraq, but that effort to spin it sure as hell is.<\/p>

Tim brings up Al Gore’s Saudi Arabia comments (a story “pushed by the conservative blogs”), Gigot says that the idea that we’re “rounding up Arabs” is crazy. One free trip to Gitmo for Paul, eh?<\/p>

MoDo’s final thoughts: Mary Matalin “had a very difficult job in making the vice president appear human.” It would help if he removed the robotic arm.
—————
This Week
Podcast<\/a><\/p>

Opener pairs Cheney’s admission that shooting his pal was “one of the worst days of my life” and Michael Chertoff’s plea that overseeing Katrina was “one of the most difficult and traumatic experiences of my life.” I think I speak for both those who have been shot in the face and Katrina vitims when I say, these people need to suffer more.<\/p>

George calls Cheney shooting “the watercooler story of the week,” a nice way to avoid admitting that an Arab company buying U.S. <\/span>ports might matter more but isn’t as interesting.<\/p>

Chertoff first up. Says that Katrina also created “significant successes,” though I have yet to hear him cite anyone else but the Coast Guard. George asks how come it took so long to learn the levees had broken. Chertoff says that his staff wanted to verify it BUT <\/span>that now, he’s made it known he “would rather get half-verified information earlier, with the warning that it’s not verified, rather than waiting for people to feel like they have to prove it.” He really should speak to someone in the vice president’s office about that.<\/p>

Yet he’s not sure if knowing that the levees had broken would have made anything any better.<\/p>

By the way, the Coast Guard did a great job.<\/p>

Clip of Mike Brown giving Chertoff a C-minus and mocks him for being a “judge by training.” Chertoff, “well, I fired him, clearly, he’s not going to be happy with me.” Of Brown’s contention that Chertoff “made him stay in Baton Rogue,” Chertoff says, well, “when I talked to him earlier, he was flying around, I think he was about to go on Larry King or Rita Cosby,” which is apparently something you don’t do until later.<\/p>

Repeats talking point that he asked if FEMA <\/span>needed anything AND THEY SAID THEY DID.<\/span> Also says that next hurricane season is only 100 days away. Funny you mention that, says George…<\/p>

Chertoff reels off some improvements, mainly about communications and resources. George: “Do you regret not doing that before Katrina?” Chertoff: “Well, I wasn’t there for the budget before Katrina…” Whoops! Where did that buck go now?<\/p>

WSJ <\/span>says five people have rejected “overtures” to take the FEMA <\/span>job. Chertoff denies that “overtures” have been made but they are “talking to a lot of people.” Clearly the man does not put out on the first date.<\/p>

Dubai port sale question. “Actual details of discussion are classified.” But, rest assured, they’re reviewing it. In this context one is not reassured.<\/p>

Sen. Joe Lieberman (D-ish) and Rep. Tom Davis (R-VA)<\/p>

Should Chertoff resign? “Secretary Chertoff failed to do his job.” Not an answer? The Secretary did not take advantage of early declaration of disaster, he didn’t move in transportation… and it’s a duet: Davis says that Chertoff is “doing a pretty good job on the terrorist side,” but “response is different.”<\/p>

Did the Congressional Republicans “wall off the White House” from criticism? Davis said that litigation over executive privilege would have delayed report. Have you heard from the White House? “I haven’t gotten a congratulatory call, if that’s what you mean.” What, no human-feeling pat on the back?<\/p>

Lieberman wants to destroy FEMA <\/span>in order to save it. Keep it inside DHS, <\/span>but break it down and rebuild it.<\/p>

Port sale issue. Lieberman admits his first thought is, “Why did we let that happen?” He says he wants to know more about failure to invest in port security rather than this sale, but the sale of a port does strikes me as a security issue of sorts.<\/p>

Panel! Cokie, George Will and Katrina vanden Huevel.<\/p>

Katrina with some good passive aggressive pinko spin: she’s glad the press found its backbone but “let’s not ask tough questions about an accidental incident, let’s ask about Cheney cherry picking intelligence to mislead us into war, using intelligence to retaliate against critics of this war…”<\/p>

Will thinks this is “a press story about a press story about press story”… inside a wheel inside a plan inside burrito. Cokie says that the press is “in danger of looking out of touch.” If she thinks that they’re only in danger of it, she might be the one out of touch.<\/p>

Would like to note that despite everyone agreeing that this is a non-story or at least only a symbolic one, discussion continues. Katrina says that the way the story has been handled implies “a danger not to the enemies of the administration but to their friends.” Well, yes: They might get shot in the face.<\/p>

Will makes a reference to Whittington refusing to “let his inner Oprah come out.” Not sure what outlet she’d use. The mind reels.<\/p>

Clip of Rice on the Hill, “taking a pounding.” I am positive that it was her first time. Are we headed toward “foreign policy overload?” I have no idea what this means but George Will is confident that we are
fighting the good fight. “In Iran, the Secretary has it exactly right.”<\/p>

Katrina has negative charisma and the mien of a recently divorced Montessori school teacher. And is as successful in debate with anyone over 13. She thinks we should “engage” Hamas. Cokie running the table on this one, actually though in short she thinks it’s “not a black and white issue.”<\/p>

George wants to know why a new poll shows Republicans to be happier than Democrats. Katrina mangles the title of the song “Don’t Worry, Be Happy.” She is the whitest of the white white people there. George Will has more rhythm. He also says that Republicans are happy because they’re pessimists, “and pessimists are usually right, but are delighted when they’re wrong.”<\/p>

Obligatory ABC <\/span>self-whoring segment: Interview with Shaquille O’N<\/span>eal. (NBA All-Star Game is on later. On ABC <\/span>later.) It is not as hard hitting as the Daily Show interview. He fully plans on being “sheriff somewhere, someplace” after he gets done playing. I predict a drop in crime.<\/p>

George wonders of late night comics, post-Cheney accident, “what are they going to do for material next week?” I dunno, George, what about you?
—————
Face the Nation<\/a>
Transcript<\/a> (PDF), Frist interview<\/a><\/p>

Senator Bill First first.<\/p>

Oh **** — Elisabeth Bumiller’s co-hosting again. Guess they want to appeal that crucial younger demographic of under 60 year olds.<\/p>

Bob Schieffer unspools TIME <\/span>scooplet that Bush himself had to lean on Cheney to talk to the press. Frist — he’s a doctor, did you know that? — says that, as a doctor, his concerns are with the patient. He doesn’t know about the TIME <\/span>story, but what “America doesn’t want” is for the Democratic leaders to jump in and make it a partisan issue. He’s AMERICA’<\/span>s doctor.<\/p>

Schieffer wonders why didn’t Cheney come forward… “He wasn’t thinking straight, and clearly, WHO WOULD, <\/span>thinking he’d killed his best friend.” This is an angle I had not considered.<\/p>

OMG WHAT<\/span> IS BUMILLER WEARING<\/span>!?!? Lime green leather flasher jacket. Who dresses these women? Let alone who cuts their hair. Lime green jacket must also belong to the New Jersey mechanic who Bumiller stole her hair from.<\/p>

Bumiller presses for Frist’s opinion on how shooting was handled. He demurs: “I’m running another body. The legislative branch of government was not involved at all.” They could never agree when to pull the trigger anyway. Fun fact: “We leave pellets, bullets in people all the time.”<\/p>

Schieffer gets very jocular in announcing that “we’re moving off this subject… I take it you’d like that.” Onto FISA<\/span>! First says he “believes… KNOWS <\/span>that the program is Constitutional.” Obviously one of those distance diagnoses that Frist is so good at. Is his sense that the FISA <\/span>law will have to be re-written? Can’t say. It may be that “we need more statutory discipline.” Mmmm… statutory discipline.<\/p>

Bumiller whipsaws into medicare program. “What went wrong?” Frist starts explaining that when you take 25 million people and put them in a brand new federal program, you’re going to have some “bumps.” Denies it’ll be a liability in 06. “We’re giving them drugs!” That does seem like a winning issue.<\/p>

Schieffer quizzes re lobbying scandal. (The rapid fire dueling anchors seems to be rattling Frist, btw.) He predicts strong lobbying reform bill on the floor within weeks. “Much further disclosure, much further transparency…” which sounds almost as sexy as statutory discipline. Didn’t Ashcroft get the statutory covered up?<\/p>

Barbara Boxer joins from Rancho Mirage, California, sitting in front of a cozy log fire.<\/p>

She says the Cheney incident “speaks to the vice president’s penchant for secrecy… what really resonates are all the mistakes the administration is making and not admitting,” manages to tie hunting accident to Iraq, Medicare bill, and Katrina. Claims the administration is hurting “millions of people.” Perhaps the cozy log fire has cut off some oxygen supply to the room.<\/p>

Dubai\/port operations. Boxer complains that “it is ridiculous to say you’re taking ‘secret steps’” to make sure that nation with ties to 9\/11 can take over port operations. I think she’s tempted to tie it to the hunting accident but stops herself. “This should be a no brainer… What is all this secrecy, anyway?”<\/p>

Schieffer asks why it would so bad for this company to be running our ports. Boxer says she’s against ANY <\/span>foreign company running our ports, which seems a little extreme and also unclear on what the dangers are. On to Medicare bill: The more that people find out that it was crafted to benefit drugs companies, the more they’ll turn against Republicans. I believe it’s possible that her entire segment has been completely content free, and that the more people find out what a FIASCO <\/span>the Medicare bill is, the more they’ll hate the government.<\/p>

I think Boxer’s sweater and Bumiller’s jacket should fight. I wonder who would win.<\/p>

Democrats don’t just attack something something we want to change things for the better something Abramoff… that fire looks pretty.<\/p>

Schieffer all up in her face about lobbying specifics. Boxer says private sector funded trips should be outlawed, except for “think tanks, foundations.” Which is a loop hole big enough for Abramoff and an entire Indian tribe to walk through.<\/p>

Fun fact: Donald Rumsfeld and Bob Schieffer have been “arguing for thirty years.”
—————
Fox News Sunday<\/u>
Sens. Lindsey Graham and Evan Bayh interview<\/a>, Alan Simpson interview<\/a><\/p>

Chris Wallace asks Evan Bayh if accusing Republicans of having “arrogance of power” is the kind of thing that makes “Democrats look silly.” I would say it makes Democrats look like they’re paying attention, if slightly hysterical. When Democrats wear clown shoes,
it makes them look silly. (Have you SEEN<\/span> Pelosi lately?)<\/p>

HOWEVER<\/span>: Bayh says Chris Wallace has a point. “He has a respectful difference of opinion on the magnitude of this issue” with other Democratic leaders. Graham says that Cheney is one of the best hunters he’s ever hunted with and a “nice man.” Also, let’s move on. Wallace has ONE <\/span>more question. Is this White House too secret? Lindsay Graham says the concern was Whittington’s privacy. And, hey, “mistakes were made.” (No **** , he said that.)<\/p>

To Bayh (adorable curl to the side of his forehead — call it the Presidential curl), something about how if Democrats question the President over the NSA <\/span>wiretap, shouldn’t voters continue to see them as “too weak and soft”? Silly AND <\/span>weak AND <\/span>soft? That’s it: the Democrats are TOTALLY GAY<\/span>! Bayh says that, well, that is a perception<\/i>. This administration has been tough, but that’s not enough, “we need to be tough and smart<\/i>.” (Silly, weak, soft, and SMART<\/span>? Get out the ass-less chaps already!)<\/p>

To Graham: Has the Senate be tough but dumb? Graham says he has a “theme,” which also sounds kind of gay, actually. On NSA <\/span>wire taps he proposes that it be more “flexible and relevant” but with more Congressional review. Congress, the judiciary, and executive branch should be “all together, reading off the same sheet of music.” I know I should stop making the gay jokes but…<\/p>

Bayh argues that it is in the administration’s best interest to have oversight on this, or else “some Americans will think J. Edgar Hoover has come back.” Must. Stop. The. Gay. Jokes.<\/p>

Dubai port issue. “We gotta look into this company,” says Bayh. “There can’t be a choice between profits and the American people.” (Unless it’s health care.) It’s “not smart to outsource our port security.” These seem like sensible statements. Is he running for President? Graham: “It’s unbelievably tone deaf, politically,” to have done this post-9\/11. “Why this company, from this region, now?” Oh, I dunno… greed?<\/p>

Chris Wallace shows poll with Bayh at 3 percent in straw poll. Oh, poor Presidential curl just went limp. “At least give me credit for managing expectations.” Heh. Again with the softness and the
weakness. He probably throws like a girl.<\/p>

Frmr Sen. Alan Simpson<\/p>

Mentions being up at “rosy fingered dawn.” Wallace notes that Cheney is “not a touchy feely guy” (unlike the Democrats, he might as well add), Simpson says that he hasn’t talked to Cheney, but “he probably went home to Lynn and put his head on her shoulder and cried” (like a Democrat might).<\/p>

Should we worry about the toll that this is taking on Dick Cheney, the man<\/i>? Alan isn’t worried. But, says Chris, “Democrats have taken this opportunity to POUND <\/span>on the vice president.” (WHY DOES FOX MAKE<\/span> IT SO HARD<\/span>?) Simpson calls the “20 hour delay” a “laugher,” “worse than the 18 minute gap” on the Nixon tape.<\/p>

Noonan prediction of replacing Cheney? “Well, we have a word for it, but we won’t use it here, out here in the wild west.” Cow poopy is I believe what they say. Simpson also says that people who don’t like Cheney “have put a big red tail on his bum, and cloven hooves, and horns on his head.” (Red. Tail. On. Bum. I don’t know how to continue…) Oh but wait: “And let me tell you, if anybody thinks — if this had happened to anybody else in America, it would have been like a sparrow belch in a typhoon.” Or a black person in a hurricane?<\/p>

A final word on the Washington press corps from Simpson: Following them, “you’ll never know the good. All you get is controversy, crap and confusion.” New Fox slogan?<\/p>

Panel with the usual gang — Brit Hume, Mara Liasson, Bill Kristol, Juan Williams<\/p>

Hume says “it was a slow news week in Washington.” Yeah, about 20 hours.<\/p>

Mara Liasson notes that the story did not require a lot of reporting: “It was pretty easy to understand: The vice president shoots somebody.” Hey I’m not appalled by what she’s wearing! Finally some news.<\/p>

Kristol mocks TIME <\/span>for putting it on the cover, making it seem “dark and ominous.” Yeah, how silly. It’s not like the vice president shot somebody… Juan Williams thinks that it’s a “metaphor for a lot of things” then mention something about Jimmy Carter and the “killer
rabbit”…<\/p>

Hume calls the press corps a “pack of jackals.” Clearly disgusted. I think his eyebrows might move. Mara Liasson says that the late night comics did more to keep this alive than the press corps. Hm. Wallace asks Kristol if he ever took the president’s direction when he ran the vice president’s press shop under Bush One. Enigmatic smile. “Sometimes.” Asserts that the current vice president’s political judgement is BETTER <\/span>than the White House staff’s (!), who always “panic” if they get bad press for one day. Evidently it’s now a sign of official competence to be facing four counts of perjury. Mimes panic, throws up hands, asks, “Did the President have a major speech this week? On health care or something?”<\/p>

Asks Hume about criticism that he gave Cheney a soft interview. “The only way he would get this over with is to answer every question within reason.” He realized the veep “was ready to answer and NEEDED <\/span>to answer.” “Except for the silly newsweeklies, this is over.”<\/p>

NEWSWEEKLIES<\/span>: ALSO GAY.<\/span><\/p>

Dubai issue: Juan points out that it’s upset the Republican base more than anyone else. Hume thinks it’s a political issue, not a security issue, but the admin will have to do something to reverse course. Kristol notes the irony that the President is tough on eavesdropping, not so much on sale of ports.<\/p>

Human rights group calls for closing of Gitmo. Juan compares this to general bad international publicity for US policy. Hume is more upset about the leak of (illegal) security bases in Europe led to losing those bases. The ones we knew about, I guess. First the rendition centers, then the NSA <\/span>taps: the press isn’t letting the administration enjoy its unitary power the way god and Bill Frist intended it to!<\/p>

Power Player of the Week: Producing Director of Ford’s Theater. No reason to make a gay joke now.<\/p>

——-<\/p>

Short takes:<\/p>

•<\/b> Reliable Sources
Rare Ari Fleischer sighting! He thinks shooting story could be handled better, sooner and it could have faded faster. He would have gone to the press either Saturday night or Sunday morning. It’s the rare event that makes Fleischer look like consummate communications pro. Of the press corps: “You can be right and still be bonkers.” Was his skin always this bad? Dana Milbank on the real Fuddgate<\/a>: “Perhaps I’ll skip the hat next time… but I was really just celebrating the colors of the Dutch national ice skating team.” Half-news, half-shtick… and counting<\/a>. Also, Arianna Huffington touted a lot of “contagious video” mocking Cheney on HuffPo.<\/p>

•<\/b> Chris Matthews
Howard Fineman thinks Cheney incident is “Cheney’s Katrina” (huh?) and that “he’s almost like the wizard dealing with the muggles” (what the **** ?). Curiously hard line from Mr. Fineman. THERE WAS<\/span> A LOT<\/span> OF
SHOUTING.<\/span> A rare unanimous Matthews Meter! Apparently Cheney is something of a negative. Chris proposed that Cheney would move to Washington and become an “eminence gris” and take some future George Bush under his wing. THERE WAS<\/span> A LOT<\/span> OF SHOUTING <\/span>about how this was preposterous. Things Chris didn’t know: Scooter more of an embarrassment than the hunting accident for Cheney (Gloria Borger); el Baraday about to become the Bush’s best friends over uniting again
Iran (Fineman); there is no conspiracy to turn Louisiana into a red state (Julia Reed); big Republican donors love John McCain (Michael Duffy).<\/p> http://www.wonkette.com/politics/maureeen-dowd/chatology-passing-the-buck-155869.php http://www.wonkette.com/politics/maureeen-dowd/chatology-passing-the-buck-155869.php maureeen dowd Mon, 20 Feb 2006 15:43:25 -0500