Iran Enriches Uranium: You Know, For Kids!

Oh no! Rhetoric!
Condi, we know you’re trying to be tough and all, but we’re still pretty close to tagging this as “holy shit” — Sy Hersh just gets us a little skittish when he starts talking about “tactical nuclear weapons,” and, well, we already kinda know how your boss feels about “diplomacy.” So we urge you, Condi, to learn a little more about Iran before you take it to the Security Council — get to know them, you know? We think we have a lot in common, after all. Like, for example, they have crappy and incomprehensible kids websites too:
Yeah. That’s the Space Shuttle up top there. No, we don’t know why. It kinda freaks us out a little, but those stock photography kids at the top make us feel a little better. This was the only thing we could find in English. Any Persian speakers out there want to tell us what the hell is going on? With this site or with the forthcoming nuclear apocalypse, either one will do.

Rice on Iran: ‘We can’t let this continue’ [CNN]
Iran Kids
Earlier: Iran Enriches Uranium Underneath Watchful Eye of IAEA, Electric Six
Sy Hersh: Life of the Party
Related: Wonkette Coverage of Federal Government Websites

READ MORE: condoleezza rice, diplomacy, iran, kids, kidz, nuclear war, seymour hersh, space, websites

OMG OMG BEST FEDERAL GOVERNMENT WEBSITE SO FAR

Ok, we have to stop and breathe. Because this is… just, wow.

We mentioned the FEMA kids site before and even showed pictures from their coloring book, but we somehow missed this until today.
Oh man, it’s just… you have to go there and crank up your speakers right now.

That’s the whole thing right there but you owe it to yourself to go to the website and actually listen to the performance. We don’t know who the hell wrote/rapped this (well, his name is Scott Wolfsen, but we still don’t know who he is), but he is brilliant and we are anticipating his next mixtape like whoa. We think we even heard an unlicensed James Brown sample.

And “mitigation is important to our agency” and the bit about how saving your ass is “your responsibility” and oh man we are hyperventilating over here. And they even spelled it “kidz.” Best Friday ever.

FEMA Rap For Kidz [FEMA]
Earlier: Federal Government Websites

READ MORE: disaster, federal government websites, fema, kids, kidz, mitigation, omg, rap, responsibility, wtf