Texas ‘06 Elections Update: You Guys Are Just Nuts, OK?

Texas came this close to ridding themselves of Tom DeLay forever, and now, thanks to some activist GOP-appointed judge, they’ll be stuck with him again. Not only will DeLay’s name remain on the ballot in the 22nd District, but Tom is strongly considering running for reelection again.

Texas, why do you hate the rest of us so very much? You do know that the crazy shit DeLay does House of Representatives affects people outside of Texas, right? Can’t you guys make him Governor or something? Because it seems like you’re letting anyone on to that ballot.

The state elections chief on Monday rejected gubernatorial candidate Carole Keeton Strayhorn’s request to be called “Grandma” on the November ballot, but he decided her fellow independent candidate Kinky Friedman could use his nickname as long as it was accompanied by his given name — Richard.

So… what you’re saying is… we could get DeLay off the ballot… if he changes his name to “Grandma”?

‘Kinky’ but not ‘Grandma’ to be on the Texas ballot [CNN]
Texas Seat in Doubt [Roll Call]

READ MORE: 2006, congress, kinky friedman, midterms, nicknames, texas, tom delay, top

Wonkette Exclusive: Up Close and Personal with Tom Malin!

At long last, after much fanfare and hype, here it is: Wonkette’s exclusive interview with Tom Malin, the gay escort turned Texas state legislature candidate!

We apologize for the delay in bringing this to you. We meant to publish it yesterday, when it took place. But as you can see, we were otherwise occupied into the afternoon and evening on Thursday — covering the breaking news of Jessica Simpson’s visit to the Capitol, among other things. (Rumor has it that she was at the Point last night; can anyone confirm?)

Here are a few highlights from the interview — Tom Malin’s views on selected subjects:

• Rep. Katherine Harris: “Oh my GOSH. Did you see her TITS? She is a total BABE!”
• Republicans: “Republicans would have gays and lesbians in concentration camps if they could. I think they would close down public education. I think women and minorities would be so marginalized.”
• Condoleeza Rice: “She is balanced and fair. I believe she is compassionate. I wouldn’t want to meet her in a dark alley though. She is tough!”
• Jeff Gannon: “Everyone has seen my naked ass. Would love to see his.”

And that’s just the tip of the iceberg; there’s much, much more, after the jump. Not to be missed: professional make-up tips from Malin, a former Mary Kay Cosmetics salesman, to Hillary!

READ MORE: Democrats, Republicans, breaking, condoleezza rice, ex-prostitutes, ex-prostitutes running for office, exclusive, gay, gay prostitutes, gays, hillary clinton, hillary rodham clinton, interviews, jack borden, jimmy carter, katherine harris, kinky friedman, mary kay, mary kay cosmetics, sex, sex scandal, texas, tom malin, top, wonkette

Gossip Roundup: Fitzgerald Among the Sexiest

• Reliable Source: People magazine puts Patrick Fitzgerald under “Smart Guys” in their “Sexiest Man” issue… Ted Koppel can do strong impressions of Henry Kissinger and Barbara Walters. [WP]
• Under the Dome: Dean Barkley, who was tapped to serve out Paul Wellstone’s term, now manages Kinky Friedman’s campaign for governor of Texas… Eight people show up for Rep. David Hobson’s (R-Ohio) pheasant-hunting fundraiser… The Kennedys, Kerry, Hillary, and Scarborough honor Robert F. Kennedy on his 80th birthday… Spokesmen for DeLay and Hillary are awarded “Flak Jacket” honors. [The Hill]
• Lloyd Grove’s Lowdown: Rove’s attorney may have purchased an “I Love Karl Rove” shirt. [NYDN]

READ MORE: Personalities, barbara walters, david hobson, dean barkley, henry kissinger, hillary clinton, joe scarborough, john f. kerry, karl rove, kinky friedman, patrick fitzgerald, paul wellstone, robert f. kennedy, ted koppel, tom delay

Gossip Roundup: What Would Peter Do?

The Daily Briefing is on vacation.

• Inside the Beltway: Lance Armstrong dined at DC Coast last night (chilled cuke soup, tuna tartare)… . Board members of the American Conservative Union don fake mustaches in support of John Bolton… . Liberal group liberal. [WT]
• Karen Feld: Bob Johnson’s ex, Sheila Johnson, to marry the judge that granted her divorce; wedding to take place Sept. 24 and feature cakes by Oprah’s baker and entertainment by Patti LaBelle… Willard Hotel opens new spa… WH shuts down deed bidding. [DCX]
• Page Six: Jon Klein’s vision for CNN: “King asked Anderson a whopping 13 questions about her breasts, including, ‘What size [are your breasts]’” and, ‘They expand on camera?’”. [NYP]
• Cindy Adams: Dems dub GOP’s summer “An episode of ‘The Sopranos.’” [NYP]
• Liz Smith: ABC’ers bracelets ask “What would Peter do?” … . Dennis Kucinich and bride had marathon lip-lock… Texas Book Festival Oct. 28 to feature President Bill Clinton, Salman Rushdie, David McCullough, Doris Kearns Goodwin, Garry Wills, and gubernatorial candidate Kinky Friedman. [NYP]

READ MORE: bill clinton, bob johnson, dennis kucinich, gossip roundup, john bolton, jon klein, kinky friedman, lance armstrong, larry king, oprah, pamela anderson, patti labelle, peter jennings, sheila johnson