Bird Flu: Preemptive Ass Covering and Buck Shifting By the Feds

Earlier this afternoon, homeland security hottie Frances Townsend graced our television screens, to outline federal government preparations for a possible outbreak of pandemic flu. We were alerted to this development when our traffic spiked, due to Google searches for “frances townsend” and “frances townsend pics.”

The Times offers this account of the federal plan:

Although the federal government will stockpile 75 million doses of antiviral drugs and 20 million doses of vaccine to combat any outbreak of pandemic flu, local governments and individual communities will have to shoulder most of the burden in battling the disease, the White House said today.

Translation: “Good luck, kids, you’re on your own! This is not going to be another Hurricane Katrina, where the federal government gets blamed for everything. Fault your state and local governments instead.”

After the jump, a few more comments on the federal plan (such as it may be).

READ MORE: avian flu, bird flu, covering your ass, department of homeland security, dhs, frances townsend, mitigation, responsibility

OMG OMG BEST FEDERAL GOVERNMENT WEBSITE SO FAR

Ok, we have to stop and breathe. Because this is… just, wow.

We mentioned the FEMA kids site before and even showed pictures from their coloring book, but we somehow missed this until today.
Oh man, it’s just… you have to go there and crank up your speakers right now.

That’s the whole thing right there but you owe it to yourself to go to the website and actually listen to the performance. We don’t know who the hell wrote/rapped this (well, his name is Scott Wolfsen, but we still don’t know who he is), but he is brilliant and we are anticipating his next mixtape like whoa. We think we even heard an unlicensed James Brown sample.

And “mitigation is important to our agency” and the bit about how saving your ass is “your responsibility” and oh man we are hyperventilating over here. And they even spelled it “kidz.” Best Friday ever.

FEMA Rap For Kidz [FEMA]
Earlier: Federal Government Websites

READ MORE: disaster, federal government websites, fema, kids, kidz, mitigation, omg, rap, responsibility, wtf