Laptops to Become Unstealable, Thanks to New Regulations

Relax, everyone — the OMB is on the case of your stolen sensitive information. No more worries about your Social Security number, listed in a convenient Excel spreadsheet, ending up at some mid-level bureaucrat’s easily-robbed house over the weekend. Nope, the OMB, taking decisive action, has put its foot down and said that federal civilian agencies better comply with “new measures” in 45 days or else!

New security guidelines will ensure that identity theft becomes a thing of the past — it’s the OMB, people, they don’t fuck around. Look: “agencies would have to begin keeping detailed records of any information downloaded from databases that hold sensitive information…” You hear that? Detailed records. Then they have to delete the information. Unless they don’t want to. Accountability: try it.

This guy’s on the case. Government employees, veterans, and all the rest of the millions of you whose every personal detail is listed on some flunky’s work computer can rest easy tonight. Only the NSA, Treasury Department, Justice Department, IRS, and CIA have access to it.

OMB Sets Guidelines for Federal Employee Laptop Security [WP]

READ MORE: crime, federal government, identify theft, omb, regulations

New OMB Head Caught Mid-Book!

Seriously, this is like the best dirt available on Rob Portman.

Really, we’re just glad someone in this administration reads something other than the New Testament.

READ MORE: Funny Pictures, omb, reading, rob portman, shake-ups

What About ‘Bob’? New OMB Guy Seems Really, Really Boring

Jeez, this Rob Portman character — the new head of the Office of Management and Budget — appears to be a real sleeper. At 11:37 AM, Sen. Harry Reid’s office sent out the following statement by email:

Oops! Correction needed. At 11:58 AM, they disseminated this message (marked “CORRECTED — PLEASE USE THIS VERSION”):

The upshot? Rob Portman is SO BORING, he doesn’t even have a nickname. And certainly not a fun, vaguely fratty one, like Yosh.

Thus far, Josh Bolten’s “shake-up” isn’t adding much sizzle to the White House ranks. Where’s Bo Derek when you need her?

Earlier: Seemingly Boring Guy Appointed Head of Important-but-Boring Position

READ MORE: emails, harry reid, josh bolten, omb, press releases, rob portman, screw-ups, shake-ups, yosh

Seemingly Boring Guy Appointed Head of Important-but-Boring Position

Sooooounds like a shake-up! The U.S. Trade Representative has been tapped to replace the head of the OMB, who was tapped to replace the Chief of Staff. The Trade Representative’s deputy will take his place, and Andrew Card will be brought in to be her deputy. Right?

Rob Portman, who isn’t related to Natalie and therefore loses his slight chance of being interesting, is the new entirely unaccountable head of that department that no one outside of Washington knows anything about but that has a ridiculous amount of power and influence. Well, one of those departments.

The move will probably be hailed as a good and necessary and wise one, mostly ‘cause Portman is an on-background talker and the press likes him. Tomorrow, Donald Rumsfeld and Condoleezza Rice will switch jobs after a hilarious argument over whose is harder.

Great work, Yosh!

Bush Picks Portman as Budget Director [WP]

READ MORE: george w. bush, josh bolten, omb, rob portman, shake-ups

Fun with Federal Government Websites

We have previously expressed our admiration for federal government websites — and the hits keep on coming. One reader informs us:

Here’s a link to the OMB site listing all government programs that supposedly don’t work. Try the bottom query: “Show me the programs by TOPIC.” Of course, it doesn’t work. Maybe OMB should list their web team…

Another reader reports:

Sadly, the FEMA website for kids has downgraded the wonderful crying-kid-running-from-a-tsunami graphic. However, it still exists at the bottom left of this page (“About the FEMA director”) and seems to imply that the FEMA director is a stick-figure of a brown-skinned kid, running screaming from a tsunami:

To the FEMA webpage designer: You’re doing a heck of a job!

ExpectMore.gov [White House]
About the Agency [FEMA]

Earlier: For The Love of God, Someone Call Bill Frist

READ MORE: federal agencies, federal government websites, fema, office of management and budget, omb, web design