The Last Temptation of Orrin Hatch
Utah: we don’t get it. Is everyone there preternaturally friendly and white, or just the ones they allow the rest of us to see? Case in point: the “DC notebook” column of the Salt Lake Tribune. It is ostensibly written in the style of a “gossip column,” but every item is about how much everyone in the Utah congressional delegation is preternaturally friendly and how they all like one another. Then there’s this item:
Through most of Thursday’s confirmation hearing for Gen. Michael Hayden to head the CIA, a woman in dark glasses with short, bleached-blonde hair and wearing a teal track suit sat in the audience giving “google-eyes” to [Orrin] Hatch, reports a Senate spy.
At one point, the woman approached a Senate guard and told him her name was Bobbie, that she was in love with Hatch and wanted to give him a kiss.
She left apparently before anyone got her full name, but it reportedly gave Hatch a “hoot.”
Ew. Just ew.
Seriously, Utah, cut out this creepy stuff or we will give you back to the Aztecs.
DC Notebook [Salt Lake Tribune]
READ MORE: Utah, creepiness, ew, mormons, orrin hatch, senate, white people
Wait, if she was wearing dark glasses, how could they see that she was making "google eyes"?
by DC Ninja on 05/30/06 11:48 AM
I've attended a Mormon bathhouse or two with the Gentleman from Utah and must say that when he gets a "hoot" he makes no effort to cover it up. For shame, Orrin. For shame.
by thomas on 05/30/06 12:05 PM
It's the Anasazi that we would be giving Utah back, not the Aztecs.
Of course the Anasazi disappeared a thousand years ago, just like the GOP's ethics.
by strictures on 05/30/06 12:27 PM
Randy Newman once wrote a song, "Let's Tell Everybody About Utah, Because Nobody Seems To Know," but it never charted. Wonder why. As for Orrin "Smirking In Women's Underwear From The Dais" Hatch, I am reminded of the story Utah Phillips tells. He says despite Utah having more sheep than almost any other state, it produces very little virgin wool. Something to do with all the Mormons and all the Republicans. Dunno. Maybe that's kinda a transplanted Arab joke.
Haven't you heard? The term "Anasazi" is out. Now they're called "Ancestral Pueblo Peoples". Apparently, they moved out of caves and onto mesas.
The whereabouts of the GOP's ethics are still shrouded in mystery.
by jamesi-kins on 05/30/06 02:05 PM
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