Clarence Thomas Is Dirk Diggler

Clarence Thomas doesn’t just love porn. He is a porn star. In an article about the obscene number of gifts Thomas has accepted since joining the high court, the LA Times gives us some insight on the judge’s aesthetic tastes: a $375 “performance chip” for his Corvette (a ‘Vette! Very “Boogie Nights”!), an “$800 Daytona 500 commemorative jacket after Thomas served as grand marshal at the race in 1999, $1,200 worth of tires from a businessman in Omaha in 2002 and $1,375 in cowboy boots, Stetson hats, rawhide coat and a silver buckle after engagements in Texas in 1995 and 1996.” Rawhide coat! So hardcore.

Speaking of hardcore — let’s find out more about these pals of Thomas’s who are so generous. Apparently, a lot of them hang out in large groups where no women are present. Neat! Says one friend one such gathering: “They were all smoking cigars. It was a very manly Texas thing.” Sure. Sometimes a cigar is just a symbolic penis. Put it in context: “He said the participants slept in sleeping bags and tents, and that the activities included a greased pig race.” Greased pig race… So that’s what they’re calling it these days….

Justice Thomas Reports Wealth of Gifts [LAT]

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