Hey Democrats…You Got Served!
Good morning Senators Clinton, Schumer. What's up Mr. Biden? How're my dawgs at the DLC holdin' it down this morning? Say, guys, if you are wondering where those dark stains you found in your britches this morning came from, we're here to help. At about five past eleven last night, The Daily Show's Ed Helms tore out a new hole in your asses.
Joined by would-be Senatorial candidate Paul Hackett, Helms and The Daily Show team perpetrated one of the most priceless takedowns of Democratic Party strategery we've ever seen. It's all there: “the Matrix”, the fatal nibbling of idiot consultants, the standard false equation of Republican mistakes with Democratic victories, and most of all, the unbelievable and stupefying insistence that everything is fine.
HANK SHEINKOPF: It doesn't hurt that the Republicans keep screwing up. It only helps you. It's good to have an opponent that keeps making errors.
HELMS: I am right there with you. I got mugged the other day. And, this bum was beating me a bottle. And I said, “You know what, I am going to sit back and wait for him to accidentally hit himself with the bottle.” And sure enough, he did. I mean, I was unconscious, but I think I won that battle.
It all culminates in a reimagined Hackett-For-Senate campaign commercial:
Anyway, guys. This is why the idealistic young interns in your employ can't seem to look you in the face today.
READ MORE: democratic party, ed helms, pathetic losers, paul hackett, the daily show
You know, I bet Hackett could jump back and the race and win the primary solely because of a "Daily Show" endorsement.
by caroline m. on 03/15/06 12:38 PM
That whole segment summed up perfectly the origins of the sense of self-loathing I have developed on account of being a Democrat.
by francesND on 03/15/06 01:05 PM
Agreed, the Dems botched this one pretty horribly. Where the hell was Rep. Sherrod Brown (since he's such a 'great candidate', and has won and is recognized statewide) in 1998 when the Dems were trying to hold an open seat? Where was he in 2000 when Sen. DeWine was only a first term incumbant?
Brown waited as long as he could to jump into this race, only once it seemed like a surefire opportunity (and after Hackett had been lured in, taken time to attack DeWine and also after the Coingate scandal had taken its toll statewide).
It is sad that Hackett can't be lured back into the race, hopefully his retirement from all politics ends before Sen. Voinovich (likely) retires in 2010.
by Barnacle on 03/15/06 01:47 PM
Well yes, Frances, but wouldn't that self-loathing multiply fantastically if you became, say, a Republican?
It's not like we have a lot of choices here. You can be a member of the Labor party but when the elections happen what do you do?
I've been watching all the talking heads carry on about how wrong Russ Feinngold is, to be going after Bush for his attacks on the Constitution. Gosh, we don't want to seem negative or shrill, do we? No, I'd rather be witty and cute like Jon Stewart, but I'm glad Feingold is a senator, not a comedian.
by Hugo de Naranja on 03/15/06 01:53 PM
Long knives can be easily smuggled inside seeming cuteness. I myself think it's good to have both comedians AND Senators...well...Feingolds, anyway
by DCeiver on 03/15/06 02:36 PM
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