
First, a warning: The first martini is in the process of being consumed at this very moment. Who knows where I'll be by nine. Second: If the President is addressing the flood victims, why is he in New Orleans? I thought we finally succeeded in getting most of the people out of the city. If he wants to talk to people who lost everything, shouldn't he be at the Astrodome or something?
Bush to Outline New Aid Package in Address [AP]
9:02 PM My that was a long walk.
9:04 PM "A wasteful storm" as opposed to productive ones he's so fond of. Also, "we" saw "dead bodies lying in the street": Good thing they put together that DVD for him.
9:06 PM He's more wooden than ever. He only looks comfortable when talking about how powerful America is. He's like a national Viagra commercial. "If your patriotism should last longer than four hours...."
9:08 PM He's totally tripping over words. Also? Giving out the phone number? It's SO the detail thing a President shouldn't have to do. He sounds like Lionel Hutz. "Free set of knives if you act now."
9:11 PM The people in Biloxi look kind of pissed. Why should they be? The post office is PROCESSING THEIR CHANGE OF ADDRESS. What more do these people want??
9:12 PM When does he announce the free chocolate and ice cream?
9:14 PM "As all of us saw on television, there is deep and persistent poverty in the region as well." Again: THANK GOD FOR THE DVD VERSION, or else our filter-averse CoC would have thought everyone in the Gulf was just waiting to sit on Trent Lott's porch.
9:17 PM Ah, yes, "Gulf Opportunity Zone." See, what happened after Katrina wasn't a mistake, it was an opportunity-stake.
9:17 PM A correspondent writes: "He acknowledged that there are poor black people, AND that that's a bad thing. And it can be solved by lowering their wages, naturally."
9:19 PM "Good people wanting to make a difference, deployed to the Gulf Coast".... five days too late.
9:19 PM If he gives another website address, I'm going to throw an old Wired stock certificate at the TV.
9:22 PM Scout troops! That's who Brownie should have called! The missing link!! Just NO gays
9:22 PM So the reason it was so bad was that it was not a "normal hurricane." Discuss: What is a "normal hurricane"? A "normal" disaster response?
9:22 PM Getting DHS involved. He's so totally bombing the next hurricane.
9:25 PM Another correspondent writes: "Sure, Let's fix this fuckup by having the fucked up agency investigate it."
9:25 PM "The despair of any touches us all," he says.... as long as we all get the dvd of it.
9:26 PM Oh no. No, please no. He didn't just reference the fact that black people are optimistic and have a sense of rhythm, did he? Oh, sorry, that's "jazz musicians."
9:27 PM Cue dixieland band.
9:28 PM Asshole.
READ MORE: george w. bush , katrina , liveblogging , new orleans , presidential addresses
Slate's John Dickerson invites readers to play both Karl and Kreskin, suggesting the location Bush should deliver his Thursday night address and divining where he will deliver it. Well, this is easy:
1. Where should the president give his address: In the space on the form where they ask you to. Barring that, he should give it from a position of regret and compassion, preferably while wearing an unwashed set of clothes that he has worn for a week while wading through toxic muck and "finding" food and water.
2. Where he will give his address from: His high horse.
Enter Slate's Presidential Speech Contest [Slate]
READ MORE: george w. bush , john dickerson , karl rove , katrina , presidential addresses , slate
|
---
KATRINA RELIEF
Put your money where our mouth is. Donate to the Red Cross.
tips@wonkette.com
press requests
AIM: tipwonk
Disclaimer

Gossip Roundup: The '08 Thong Collection
Daily Briefing: Mysterious Ways
Out with the Stick, In with the Butter
Remainders: We Seem To Have A Mechanical Flaw Edition
Sponsor Threat: Cashing In & Salad Days
Advertising
RSS
Privacy Policy
Terms of Use
Visitor Survey
The Gawker Shop
Wear your politics on your chest! Get your Wonkette tshirts here.
January 2006
December 2005
November 2005
all archives...
editor:
Ana Marie Cox
news analysis:
Henry Seltzer
reporter:
Neal Ungerleider
illustration:
Andrew Sklar
design:
Patric King
software:
Movable Type
systems:
Brice Dunwoodie
operations:
Gabriela Giacoman
business development:
Gaby Darbyshire
managing editor:
Lockhart Steele
publisher:
Nick Denton