Metro Section: The Million Bucks Was Never in the Briefcase!

• Note to self: personifying evil is more lucrative than previously thought. [Fishbowl DC]

• It all depends on where you drop the furniture bombs. Being impaled by particle board seems like a bad way to go, but a little clean-up and that end table could be a great living room accent for a stylish Mosulan (Mosuler?). [Throwing Hammers]

• “MySpace Trainwreck” or “MySpace People that Wonkette Wants to Party With,” it’s just another case of tomato-tomahto. [Ashburnite]

READ MORE: drugs, furniture, iraq, loot, metro, metro section, money, myspace, prince of darkness, robert novak

Wonk’d: March Mediocrity?

This week’s collection of celebrity sightings is a little disappointing; we’ve seen better around here. Are you all too busy enjoying college basketball, warm weather, and cherry blossoms, leaving you without time to keep your editors informed of the comings and goings of famous people? Please don’t forget to email us with your sightings, with “Wonk’d” or “Sighting” in the subject line (as well as the name of the spotted celeb).

After the jump: Patti LaBelle, in a purple fur; John King and Gheorghe Muresan, participating in the March Madness; and a bunch of senators on planes.

• I saw the Prince of Darkness on Tuesday evening [3/21], sitting in a window seat of Andale Restaurant (7th & D Streets, NW). He was sitting with a woman about the same age as he (his wife?). They were saying absolutely nothing to each other…just eating quietly.

• as i was coming out of LA Sports Club, Singer/Actress Patti LaBelle is in town. She looked swank in her purple fur. At least five cameras took her photo.

• Newsmen Jim Lehrer, Clarence Page and Gordon Peterson all sat in the audience at a talk Friday (3/24) evening by husband-wife authors Michael Chabon and Ayelet Waldman at the Lutheran Church of the Reformation on the Hill (2nd and East Capitol). Lehrer’s wife, novelist Kate, gave the intro at the event.

• Former Interior Deparment press secretary / former FEMA spokesperson / former GOP spokesperson for Philadelphia 04 / former GOP Senate candidate Doug Forrester communications director Mark Pfeifle was spotted at The Cult show at the 9:30 Club on Friday, 3/24. He was really rockin out. (PS all those formers, is that like the ex-ex-gay thing?)

• I’ve lived in the DC area for almost two-years, but felt that my experience was somehow incomplete since I had yet to make a George Stephanopoulos sighting. That all changed on Saturday (3/25) when I saw he and his wife (with adorable kid in tow) at 2 Amys (an early dinner, so as to be bright-eyed and bushy-tailed for Sunday, no doubt). After all I’d heard (from you and your dear readers) about his size, I was shocked, shocked at how tall the man was.

• I don’t know if he even counts as “famous for DC,” but CNN’s John King was sitting a few rows in front of me (in Section 121) at the MCI/Verizon Center on Sunday (3/26) for the GMU/UConn game. He was with another guy and a kid who had a Georgetown sweatshirt on. This made me happy - Georgetown’s my team too. Anyway, he’s a very serious looking guy - he was one of only a handful of people in the MCI/Verizon Center who wasn’t giddy with excitement over GMU’s improbable victory. I bet he’s a UConn fan. (Also, I saw Gheorghe Muresan at the game on Friday night (3/24). It was a lot more exciting than seeing John King.)

• John Cornyn was on my flight from Dallas to Reagan last night (3/26). I think he was in first class but I’m not sure since I was stuck in the back of coach. Unfortunately nothing too exciting to report.

• John Kerry, traveling alone, on the 6:30 p.m. Delta Shuttle from Reagan to LaGuardia, Tuesday, March 28. He took a window seat near the middle of the plane, which was about three-fourths full. I didn’t see anyone talk to him, nor him to anyone. They served a lame turkey wrap with a couple bites of cantaloupe and
  melon, plus a Fun Size Almond Joy. Nothing on his prohibited list, but not preferred either.

• Wednesday, March 29th — 6 pm-ish: Charles Krauthammer on the corner of 19th and Jefferson NW — I assume he was coming out of The Palm — he left me absolutely no room on the sidewalk to get by him, but since he’s in a wheelchair I guess I should give him the benefit of the doubt rather than just assuming he’s just another cantankerous, rude conservative.

• Wednesday, 3/29: Dick Gephardt and Bob Kerrey on the 6:30 pm Delta Shuttle, LaGuardia to Reagan. Gephardt was slumped in a chair against the wall in the terminal, reading some files, when, as the line inched forward during boarding, Kerrey walked by and spotted him. Gephardt bounded up, and the two failed Democratic presidential candidates chatted amiably for a minute before Dick trudged to the end of the line. They didn’t sit anywhere near each other on the plane.

• So I am on the metro on the way home from the bar on monday night (because of course i was at a bar on a monday night) and who do I see sitting across from me on the train other than the illustrious Jeff Gannon. I noticed him at first because he was cruising me like crazy…. that creepy old guy kinda cruising. I looked back long enough to make sure it was him (and it was) and then moved to the other end of the car. He continued staring at me until he got off at Eastern Market. I was shocked to see him… I never thought he would come down and ride the metro with all of us “little people.”

• John Kerry at the Hawk & Dove last night [3/30] - made a 15 minute appearance upstairs (some kinda staffer party?)

• Saw Leeann Tweeden of Fox Sports Network’s “Best Damn Sports Show Period” and Playboy fame; James Avery, who played Will Smith’s rich uncle on “Fresh Prince”; and Brian Littrell, the born-again The Backstreet Boys in the Hart Senate Office Building on 3/30 - apparently they all do performances for the USO or something.

READ MORE: ayelet waldman, bob kerrey, bob novak, brian littrell, celebrities, charles krauthammer, clarence page, dick gephardt, famous-for-dc, famous-for-famous, george stephanopoulos, gheorghe muresan, gordon peterson, james avery, jeff gannon, jim lehrer, john cornyn, john f. kerry, john kerry, john king, leeann tweeden, mark pfeifle, michael chabon, patti labelle, prince of darkness, robert novak, wonk’d

A Request for Our Readers: Capitol Hill Kiss-and-Tell

Today, in case you forgot — we almost did — is Valentine’s Day. In keeping with the holiday, the New York Times offers us this interesting meditation on “the profoundly bizarre activity of kissing.” Here’s an excerpt:

When parents kiss their children it means one thing, but when they kiss each other it means something entirely different. People will greet a total stranger with a kiss on the cheek, and then use an identical gesture to express their most intimate feelings to a lover. The mob kingpin gives the kiss of death, Catholics give the “kiss of peace,” Jews kiss the Torah, nervous flyers kiss the ground, and the enraged sometimes demand that a kiss be applied to their hindquarters. Judas kissed Jesus, Madonna kissed Britney, a gambler kisses the dice for luck. Someone once even kissed a car for 54 hours straight.

Hmm, that doesn’t sound like much fun now, does it? It got us thinking: What’s one step up from kissing a car for 54 hours? Answer: Kissing a prominent political figure!

So here’s a request for you, our readers: Have you ever kissed a famous-for-D.C. type — such as a member of Congress, high-ranking Administration official, well-known pundit, etc.? If so, what was it like? Was he or she a good kisser?

Please email us to kiss and tell, with the word “kiss” or “kissing” in the subject of your message. Be sure to provide as many details as possible, to confirm the authenticity of your account — unless you’re writing in about Bill Clinton, in which case we’ll believe whatever old crap you make up.

We don’t want fake or satirical responses. After all, we can make those up ourselves: “As the reptilian Bob Novak slid his cold, slimy tongue down my throat, my entire body tensed, in an inexplicable mix of disgust and desire…”

The Kiss of Life [NYT]

READ MORE: bill clinton, bob novak, capitol hill, famous-for-dc, kissing, new york times, prince of darkness, reader tips, robert novak, valentines, valentines day

Wonk’d: The Prince of Darkness — on a Bad Hair Day!

Ask and you shall receive! We issued an impassioned, Sally Struthers-esque plea for D.C. celebrity sightings; and you, our beloved readers, came through big-time. In fact, we harvested such a rich trove of items from you that we’ll be sharing the results with you in multiple installments.

Let’s get the day started with two sightings of Robert Novak — the Prince of Darkness himself, the man so many of you love to hate. Here’s the first:

Tuesday, 1/31: Saw Bob Novak in the lobby of the Army Navy Club. Instead of looking like his usual evil and Satanic self, the wind had made his hair resemble whimsical wisps of white cotton candy. He resembled the mayor of Munchkinland (scowling of course) more than Beelzebub.

And here’s a second helping of Novak — with an overheard cell phone conversation on the side!

A colleague and I were traveling to Atlanta last Wednesday on the 12 p.m. Delta Shuttle. Robert Novak was seated directly in front of me on the plane. While we were waiting on the runway, he was screaming loudly into his cell phone. All that disclosing of CIA agents must have had an impact on his hearing! He seems to have physical trouble, so it’s not just his poor listening skills.

The only intelligible part of the conversation we overheard was:

Novak: ” Who was it? Who said it?”
(answer from the other person on the phone)
Novak: “Was it Lieberman? I bet it was Lieberman. He doesn’t have a conscience.”

Might I also add, his hair was completely disheveled.

Forget about insulting a U.S. Senator — that’s all in a day’s work here at Wonkette. But bad hair, in our book, is unforgivable! (Except when the hair in question is our own — unlike most people, we don’t bother to shower or comb our hair before showing up to “the office.”)

READ MORE: Personalities, bob novak, joe lieberman, prince of darkness, robert novak, wonk’d