Wonkette’s Week in Review: Our Heart Just Isn’t In It Anymore

• Katherine Harris pulls the crazy train into the station for maintenance. Get well soon Katy!
• Stop Tim Russert whilst he’s walking and he will cut your effin jacobs off!
• God pardons Ken Lay.
• Joe Lieberman’s not sure who he is anymore, but he’s running for something
• American competitiveness slips again. We’re losing ground to the Koreans in nattiness of street mobs. ‘Tis of thee.
• The president can’t get his mind off his trip to Graceland, Larry King can’t get his off marginally relevant World War II era anecdotes.
• Apparently, the sodomy squadron has been napping on the job, because they needed Vanity Fair to tell them the Watergategate parties were all about the ass-fucking.

READ MORE: Ass-Fucking, Kim Jong II, Korea, Koreans, White House, death, fashion, flip-flops, joe lieberman, katherine harris, kenneth lay, larry king, missile, missiles, north korea, protestors, protests, senate, south korea, tests, tim russert, watergategate, week in review

Korea Has the Best-Dressed Protestors with the Prettiest Signs

All images: AP
So I guess there’s totally something up in Korea, because I saw all these protestors on TV. I didn’t really pay attention to what they were demonstrating about, though, because I kept getting distracted by their beautiful modernistic signs and their snappy protest outfits. They wear ties! They’re clean! And then I got sad because I started thinking about our dumpy ol’ protestors with their ugly Sharpie-scrawled signs, like that dowdy mother lady and all those Greenpeace interns, and, who knows, maybe even sign-wavers sporting “miniskirts, stiletto heels, low-cut spandex tops” and, God forbid, flip-flops like the Washington Times tried to warn us about the other day.

Let’s take a cue from our Korean friends and tighten-up a little, shall we? More good-looking signs and the people who wave (and burn) them after the jump.

READ MORE: Kim Jong II, Korea, Koreans, cindy sheehan, fashion, flip-flops, greenpeace, missile tests, missiles, north korea, protestors, protests, south korea

Fucked Region Wants Cheney to Know How It Feels

Now we see why he wanted to stay so long in Wyoming: Dick Cheney gets what’s known as the Leahy treatment, when on a tour of the hurricane-devastated Gulfport, Mississippi, a protestor repeatedly yelled “Go fuck yourself!” When a reporter asked if whether Cheney was “getting a lot of that,” Cheney started to reply, “Must be a friend of John… ” and then broke off with a curt “Never mind.” People of course are speculating that the vice president was going to finish the sentence with “Kerry.” But that’s just unfair: The administration has made it plain that it will not stand for the politicization of this national tragedy. Our theory is that he recognized the heckler as an old friend of John Bolton—especially since, if you view the footage closely, the man is plainly preparing to hurl a stapler. — HOLLY MARTINS

Cheney: Go F—k Yourself [Crooks and Liars]

READ MORE: dick cheney, katrina, protestors