The Dems vs. Alito: Let’s Hold Hands and Jump

Along with thousands of other Americans, I received an e-mail this week from Senator John Kerry urging me to stand with him and block Judge Alito’s confirmation. Hey John! I can think of one thing you could have done that would have kept Judge Alito off the Court for sure. Do you know what I mean? I bet you do. Anyway, Sen. Kerry has a link for me so I can sign an open letter to my senators, urging them to stop Alito. My senators are Hillary Clinton and Chuck Schumer, so clicking that link is certain to turn the tide.

Kerry and Ted Kennedy are now calling for a filibuster — an option that has gathered exactly zero momentum duing the hearings and after. Kerry’s running the effort from Davos, natch.

The dumb Democrats have forgotten how to Bork. To Bork, you have to demonize. Remember, Ted? “Robert Bork’s America is a land in which women would be forced into back alley abortions, blacks would sit at segregated lunch counters, rogue police could break down citizens’ doors…” The conservatives who sank Miers are now on record as agreeing that a nominee’s views are relevant.

Maybe the Democratic leadership should spend more time reading the gossip pages and less time reading Roll Call. Last November, New York Magazine’s Intelligencer section ran a wry summary by Dahlia Lithwick of the consequences of some Alito opinions. For example, Congress has no right to control machine guns. Making sex discrimination suits nearly impossible. Did people ever hear about this stuff? Even the red states might be bothered: “Sam Alito’s America is a land in which executives would grope assistants in closets, pedestrians would be mowed down at random….” If they’d done that, a filibuster might be more viable, or at least less embarrassing.

One other thing the Dems could have done earlier that would have kept Alito off the court, if they were in any way strategically minded: signed on with Miers en masse at just the right moment to rescue her nomination. — AMBITIOUS HECKLER
An Open Letter To Congress [Friends of John Kerry]
The New Yorker’s Guide to Surviving Supreme Court Nominee Samuel Alito [New York]

READ MORE: chuck schumer, harriet miers, hillary clinton, john kerry, robert bork, samuel alito, ted kennedy, top

Activist Bartenders

Proving that everyone is allowed at least one redeeming quality, we quote a Wall Street Journal letter to the editor written by Robert Bork:

What counts in mixology is the “original understanding” of the martini’s essence by those who first consumed it. The essence remains unaltered but allows proportions to evolve as circumstances change. Mr. Felten’s “near-perfect martini” is the same in principle as the “original-understanding martini” and therefore its legitimate descendant. Such latter-day travesties as the chocolate martini and the raspberry martini, on the other hand, are the work of activist bartenders.

Bork’s full letter after the jump.

Martini’s Founding Fathers: Original Intent Debatable

Eric Felten’s essay on the dry martini is itself near-perfect (“Don’t Forget the Vermouth,” Leisure & Arts, Pursuits, Dec. 10). His allusion to constitutional jurisprudence is faulty, however, since neither in law nor martinis can we know the subjective “original intent” of the Founding Fathers. As to martinis, the intent may have been to ease man’s passage through this vale of tears or, less admirably, to employ the tactic of “candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.”

What counts in mixology is the “original understanding” of the martini’s essence by those who first consumed it. The essence remains unaltered but allows proportions to evolve as circumstances change. Mr. Felten’s “near-perfect martini” is the same in principle as the “original-understanding martini” and therefore its legitimate descendant. Such latter-day travesties as the chocolate martini and the raspberry martini, on the other hand, are the work of activist bartenders.

Mr. Felten lapses into heresy only once. He prefers the olive to the lemon peel because the former is a “snack.” Dropping a snack into a classic drink is like garnishing filet mignon with ketchup. The correct response when offered an olive is, “When I want a salad, I’ll ask for it.”

Robert H. Bork
The Hudson Institute
Washington

READ MORE: martinis, robert bork, top, wsj

Remainders: Out for a Good Borking

• Jeb Bush, talking hurricane relief and support, proves to be a less-than-traditional conservative: “If Wal-Mart can do it, why can’t the government?” That’s like digging up Barry Goldwater in order to kill him again! [South Florida Sun-Sentinel]
• “Borked” versus “Miers”. What the rest of the world calls “tops” and “bottoms.” [AP, via Breitbart.com]
• Vioxx teaches its reps to play Dodgeball. Because nobody makes them bleed their own profits! Nobody! [ATLA]
• The original text of Harriet Miers resignation letter. REVEALED! [Flak Magazine]
• Red States Lose! Ozzie Guillen rubs Texas’ face in it by taking World Series victory to decidedly erotic new heights. [AP]

READ MORE: gayest-seeming, harriet miers, hurricane relief, jeb bush, red versus blue, robert bork, vioxx, wal-mart, world series

Daily Briefing: ‘Just Trying to Avoid Trouble’

• Bush defends selection of Miers: “I picked the best person I could find.” Brownback, Grassley remain skeptical; Hatch, Sessions are supportive. [WP, NYT, WT, LAT, USAT]
• White House and RNC campaign to convince conservatives that Miers is a wise pick; uncertainties about Miers mutes “rapid response” from advocacy groups. [WP, WSJ, USAT]
• Bush asks Congress to offset costs of hurricane relief with “substantial” cuts in entitlement programs; says there is need for new oil refineries. [WSJ, NYT]
• Bush implies he will use executive privilege to withhold Miers documents. [NYT]
• Miers reportedly told a former boyfriend that “life begins at conception” and abortion is “taking a life”; turned to faith and conservative causes in her mid-30s. [WP, NYT, WT]
• Bork: “I think [Bush] is just trying to avoid trouble — but the message comes through: Do not be controversial, do not express strong opinions that arouse opposition.” [LAT]

• Texas prosecutor says new information sparked money laundering indictment against DeLay; “quick justice” would most benefit DeLay. [WP, NYT]
• Katrina, Rita failures highlight consequences of weak executive branch oversight. [WP]
• Miers’ workaholic nature fit into White House culture. [LAT]
• Miers seems moderately supportive of gay rights. [WT]
• Bush willing to “effect a quarantine” by military means if flu pandemic hits the U.S. [WP, NYT, WT]
• Bush admits “diminished appetite in the short term” for his Social Security plans. [LAT]
• Next Federal Reserve chairman likely to come from outside of Bush’s inner circle. [WSJ, NYT]
• Clinton acts in command during visit to Louisiana. [NYT]

READ MORE: Democrats, Pentagon, Republicans, Rita, SCOTUS, White House, abortion, alan greenspan, bill clinton, budget, charles grassley, fema, flu outbreak, george w. bush, harriet miers, jeff sessions, katrina, oil, orrin hatch, rnc, robert bork, sam brownback, social security, tom delay

Gossip Roundup: Brian Lamb Marries

• Washington Whispers: Trent Lott found his refrigerator three blocks from his house and inside were two sentimental bottles of champagne… D.C. television viewers are sick of Barack Obama… George H.W. Bush’s presidential library plans to add mock press briefing room… Robert Bork jokes, “How do you pronounce Souter in Spanish? Gonzales.”… News-addicted actor Joe Pantoliano likes “the girls” on MSNBC, especially Natalie Morales… [USN&WR]
• Lloyd Grove’s Lowdown: Brian Lamb marries someone named Victoria. Spokeswoman: “They were married in a small, private ceremony in the Washington area and Brian was in the office all week”… Hillary supporters hope “Inside the Bubble,” a new documentary about the Kerry-Edwards campaign, will end his chances in ‘08. Kerry flack David Wade: “The 20 poor souls subjected to this movie will be reaching for caffeine and begging for old Lamar Alexander tapes on C-SPAN2. Michael Moore has nothing to fear. I think the working title was ‘The Snore Room.’” [NYDN]

• Inside the Beltway: Diane Rehm, Cokie Roberts, John Cochran, Pat Buchanan, Matt Cooper, John Dickerson, Bill Plante, Mark Shields among the attendees of Congressional Quarterly’s 60th anniversary party. [WT]
• Rush & Molloy: Roger Ailes, Paul Begala, Judy Woodruff, Katrina vanden Heuvel will debate at a Harvard forum moderated by Tom Brokaw to honor John Kennedy Jr. and George magazine. [NYDN]
• Cindy Adams: Fidel Castro wears Armani. [NYP]

READ MORE: Barack Obama, Personalities, alberto gonzales, brian lamb, c-span, david souter, david wade, fidel castro, george h.w. bush, george w. bush, hillary clinton, inside the bubble, joe pantoliano, john f. kerry, msnbc, natalie morales, parties, robert bork, roger ailes, trent lott

Gossip Roundup: ‘How You Gonna Trust That Cat?’

• Washington Whispers: Rolex watch given to John F. Kennedy from Marilyn Monroe is up for auction; its box includes poem, “And let me love or let me die!”… 81% in one poll can identify Roberts… Some Democrats irked by Clinton’s participation in Katrina aid… Chertoff has an evacuation plan for his family… DeLay has personal vow not to frown or whine… Margaret Spellings exercises to the Police, Chaka Khan, Stevie Wonder, and the Carpenters… Romney’s religious credibility questioned by “Christian leaders.” [USN&WR]
• Inside the Beltway: Bush “took a rare break from mopping up Hurricane Katrina and bid farewell to Prince Bandar“… Bork’s son hawks shirts that say, “Renominate Bork! He’s tanned, rested and ready.” [WT]
• Rush & Molloy: Chuck D raps about Katrina: “Son of a Bush, how you gonna trust that cat?/ To fix [bleep] when help is stuck in Iraq?” [NYDN]
• The Scoop: Al Sharpton acted as “eyes and ears” of PETA for New Orleans. [MSNBC]

READ MORE: Marilyn, Personalities, al shaprton, bill clinton, chuck d, george w. bush, john f. kennedy, john g. roberts, katrina, margaret spellings, michael chertoff, mitt romney, monroe”, peta, polls, prince bandar, robert bork, tom delay

Gossip Roundup: Clinton’s 15 Pounds of Sweets

• Under the Dome: Humane Society says lobbyists use cockfighting to raise money… Bork is against television coverage of confirmation hearings… Rep. John Lewis (D-Ga.) will honor journalists who advanced civil rights; Dan Rather, John Siegenthaler will attend. [The Hill]
• Inside Politics: Fonda cancels bus tour to avoid overshadowing Sheehan. [WT]
• Inside the Beltway: Pierce Brosnan on Bush: “This man called President Bush has a lot to answer for. I don’t know if this man is really taking care of America.”… Carville, Matalin sponsor Katrina-benefit run/walk. [WT]
• Rush & Molloy: Magic Johnson, Don Cheadle, Jay-Z criticize Bush’s handling of Katrina. [NYDN]
• Lloyd Grove’s Lowdown: Clinton buys 15 pounds of candy. [NYDN]
• The Scoop: Michael Moore is reportedly “seriously considering” making a film about government’s response to Katrina. [MSNBC]

READ MORE: John siegenthaler, Personalities, bill clinton, cindy sheehan, dan rather, don cheadle, george w. bush, james carville, jane fonda, jay-z, john lewis, magic johnson, mary matalin, michael moore, pierce brosnan, robert bork