‘Post’ Flooding the Inappropriate Footwear Zone

Pulitzer winner Robin Givhan, in today’s Washington Post:

A foot in a flip-flop might as well be naked. And naked feet don’t belong anywhere near an office.

And columnist Mary Ellen Slayer, in the May 21 Washington Post:

And speaking of distractions, it’s also that time of year in which we have to persuade a misguided chunk of our young workforce that unless they are employed as lifeguards or gym-locker patrols, flip-flops are simply not suitable for work.

Ok, Downie, we get it. Next time, make like The Atlantic and send a damn memo.

Simmering Over Summer Accessories [WP]
Avoid the Flip-Flop Flap and Join the Well-Heeled [WP, with what might be the single worst headline of the year]
Earlier: Say Goodbye to Your Dream of Ross Douthat in a Tank Top

READ MORE: clothes, dress codes, flip-flops, robin givhan, washington post

The Givhanification of the Post

When you bestow a Pulitzer Prize upon Robin Givhan, you only encourage stuff like this:

John Allen Muhammad strides into the Montgomery County courtroom looking every bit the lawyer. Gone is the orange jumpsuit he wore in Virginia when he was sentenced to death. Gone, too, is the hair that towered over him as he prepared for trial in Maryland.

He now wears suits and ties. He carries with him a stack of legal papers, shuffling them purposefully at the defense table. He speaks the language of law, begging the “court’s indulgence” and asking that a “continuous objection” be noted for the record.

Yes, that’s right. This is an article about the successful “makeover” of John Allen Muhammad, now on trial in Maryland — and already convicted in Virginia — for the 2002 sniper attacks.

Oooh boy.

Muhammad’s Metamorphosis Impresses Some Trial Observers [WP]

Earlier: We’re On Next Year’s Shortlist for Sure

READ MORE: crime, eric rich, john allen muhammad, law, robin givhan, trials, violence, washington post

Wonkette’s Week in Review: Deciding Who’s the Biggest Asshole Edition

• The tasteful classic rock hits finally stopped playing, and when they did, Scotty was the one without the chair. We heard later that maybe he never even had a chance.

• We wouldn’t have called it WEDNESDAY MORNING MASSACRETTE just for Scotty. Turns out Turd Blossom has a new job too.

• Wonkette loves a power vacuum. Who, oh who, will not be answering Helen Thomas’s questions now? Qualifications required: 1. Republican 2. Has been on TV.

• It wasn’t all White House this week. In fact, once we heard about Kathrine Harris’s bus tour — not to mention her attempted seduction of a college journalist — we forgot all about the Massacrette.

• You have to respect a congresswoman who’s not afraid to call it like she sees it. We’ve even started emulating her, and so can you, unless you’re too big of an asshole.

• Some people are always looking for signs that the apocalypse is upon us; if you’re one of them, you had a pretty blockbuster week.

• Some too-old-to-hack-it-anymore retired generals are calling for Donald Rumsfeld’s resignation, but Bush says he’s the “decider,” and his decision is: Rummy stays. The President doesn’t want anyone making fun of him anymore either. He’s smart really, just maybe more of “wikilectual,” than, you know, an intellect-ual.

• Loyal readers, you never cease to amaze us. We pose one simple question about some good old-fashioned congressional adultery, and you deluge us with emails filled with your hopes and dreams.

• Way to go, Washington Post! You totally kicked some Times ass, and all thanks to Robin Givhan, who heard the news while wearing an ivory crewneck sweater that was a perfect metaphor for the simple, yet complex task of writing about famous peoples’ clothes, which itself is a reflection of the world’s preoccupation with image as perception, and sometimes a red tie is just a red tie, and she really wants to thank the little people, and oh! thankyou, thankyou, thankyou, air kisses for everyone!

READ MORE: Media, White House, assholes, awards, blind items, capitol hill, field trips, florida, gossip, holy shit, jo ann emerson, karl rove, katherine harris, oh fuck, perverts, pulitzers, resignations, robin givhan, scott mcclellan, sex scandals, shake-ups, swimming costumes, unverified rumors, washington post, week in review

More Breaking News: The Apocalypse Is Near

Some bad news from the West Coast:

Plague, of course, is one of the classic signs of the apocalypse. And here are a few others:

• Fire: Check. At that holy site called the Heritage Foundation, no less.
• Wars: Check.
• Rumors of wars: Check. Thanks, Sy.
• A spree of false Christs and/or Messiahs: Check. That’s what all this “Gospel of Judas” business is all about.
• The birth of the Antichrist: Check. And the TomKitten is named Suri, which means “utterly fucked” in Persian.

Finally, earlier this week, Robin Givhan won a Pulitzer Prize.

Wow. We’re seriously, seriously fucked.

Case of bubonic plague confirmed in L.A. [CNN]
Apocalpyse [rotten.com]

Earlier: BREAKING: Fire at the Heritage Foundation
Sy Hersh: Life of the Party
BREAKING: ROBIN GIVHAN WON A PULITZER!
Related: BREAKING: Tom and Katie’s Publicist Gives Birth on Their Behalf [Gawker]

READ MORE: breaking, disease, heritage foundation, holy shit, iran, iraq, katie holmes, oh fuck, plague, pulitzers, robin givhan, seymour hersh, tom cruise, tomkat, tomkitten, top

Wonkette Mailbag: Second Bestest Reader Email

This afternoon, after blogging about Robin Givhan’s Pulitzer Prize win, we received this email from a reader: “Was Robin Givhan married to Mike Tyson? Was this the same woman?”

Alas, no. If that were the case, our pants wouldn’t be dry right now. A Pulitzer-winning Washington Post writer who (1) had been married to a former heavyweight boxing champ, and (2) had starred in “Head of the Class,” would be a Wonkette wet dream.

This reader has confused Robin Givhan (above left) with Robin Givens (below right). As one can see from their photos, the two women look nothing alike. And aside from appearances, there are a host of other salient differences:

Occupations
Givhan: Journalist; fashion critic (of “John Roberts’s kids look like Easter eggs” infamy)
Givens: Actress (of “E! True Hollywood Story” infamy)

Prizes Won
Givhan: Pulitzer Prize for Criticism (2006)
Givens: ShoWest Female Star of Tomorrow (1991)

Preferred Methods of Injuring People
Givhan: By writing for the Washington Post
Givens: By running them over with her SUV

(We leave it to you to determine which causes greater pain.)

See? Telling apart African-American women is not rocket science.

(Capitol Police, were you paying attention? Or will Cynthia McKinney have to unleash a can of whoop-ass on you again?)

Earlier: Wonkette Mailbag: OMG BESTEST READER EMAIL EVER
We’re On Next Year’s Shortlist For Sure
Prior Wonkette coverage of Robin Givhan (scroll down)

READ MORE: celebrities, cynthia mckinney, emails, reader tips, robin givens, robin givhan, washington post

We’re On Next Year’s Shortlist For Sure

Yesterday, Washington Post Fashion writer Robin Givhan won a Pulitzer prize for criticism. She received the news in the Post’s newsroom in Washington, D.C., wearing a sensible Ivory-colored sweater that represented a consolation of sorts to the purposefully unflashy style of her Beltway-locked coworkers (Ms. Givhan lives and works from New York). On her left hand, riding astride her middle finger, was a magniloquent amber ring, a hint of Uptown frission and a protective barrier — intentional or no — against the dowdification (though not necessarily Dowd-ification) of a DC newsroom.

Blah blah blah greater cultural significance metaphor for something larger etc. etc.

(Picture by Burnt Pixel/Keith Jenkins, under a Creative Commons license)

Disclaimer: We thought with complete sincerity that this piece was petty much the only intelligent thing written by anyone about the Cynthia McKinney thing. Congrats, Robin.

READ MORE: Media, fashion, journalism, newspapers, pulitzers, robin givhan, style, washington post

Anticipatory Party Crash: Journalism’s Highest Honor = Drinks Are On You

We hear…

…that a certain daily newspaper that just won more Pulitzers than their hoity-toity New York rivals is having a little gathering in celebration on top of the Hays-Adams at 7 tonight.

We can’t decide if we want to crash it or not. Mostly because we can’t confirm whether New Yorker Robin Givhan will be attending. We want her to write a detailed analysis of the greater cultural significance of our last clean shirt!

READ MORE: Media, parties, party crash, pulitzers, robin givhan, top, washington post

BREAKING: ROBIN GIVHAN WON A PULITZER!

The Post beat the Times — Jay Rosen, you’re a genius! — 4-3 due entirely to, we like to think, Robin Givhan’s crazy Style column. Besides Givhan, Post winners include David Finkel, Dana Priest, and the Abramoff reporting team of Susan Schmidt, James V. Grimaldi and R. Jeffrey Smith (Eisler’s not gonna be happy about that one…)

Update: Yeah, we’re not sure if we properly registered the level of OMG we felt at hearing this. But, uh, here it is:

For distinguished criticism, in print or in print and online, Ten thousand dollars ($10,000).

Awarded to Robin Givhan of The Washington Post for her witty, closely observed essays that transform fashion criticism into cultural criticism.

You got the message, Times? You need more barely-edited nuts on your Style pages, and fewer on your OpEd pages.

Pulitzer Prize Winners
Pulitzers Announced [Gawker]
Pulitzer Prizes for Journalism Awarded [AP via Yahoo]

READ MORE: Media, awards, jack abramoff, journalism, new york times, pulitzers, robin givhan, top, washington post

Even More Frightening Than the Robin Givhan Byline

is this photo:

The best argument against human cloning? Two words: Ann Coulter.

Dark Delights: Without Ruffles or Flourishes, Designers Show a Somber Side for Fall [WP]
Ann Coulter Plagiarizes the Gilded Moose [The Gilded Moose]

Earlier: Why We “Idolspize” Robin Givhan
Past Wonkette Coverage of Ann Coulter

READ MORE: Funny Pictures, ann coulter, fashion, human animal hybrids, robin givhan, style, washington post

Why We “Idolspize” Robin Givhan

Check out Harry Jaffe’s puff piece in the Washingtonian about Robin Givhan, the Washington Post’s “fashion critic.” Not a bad life, eh?

It sure beats blogging for a living! Let’s do a head-to-head comparison:

• Givhan jets off to Milan on somebody else’s dime, where she rubs shoulders with the beautiful people. We sit at home in our pajamas, chained to our laptops, and trying to remember when we last showered.

• Givhan’s catty, incoherent ramblings about how people look get called “journalism.” Ours get dismissed as mere “snark,” even though they’re just as catty and incoherent as hers.

• Givhan gets press credentials — and full benefits! We, needless to say, do not.

Do we admire Robin Givhan as a journalist? Um, not exactly. But we kind of “idolspize” her. We have to give her props, for getting a respected news organization to give her a job — with full benefits! — picking the low-hanging fruit of poorly dressed politicians.

Robin Givhan: Sending Out Zingers With Style [Washingtonian]

Earlier: Have You Considered Writing Essays That Don’t Make Us Want to Claw Our Eyes Out?

READ MORE: harry jaffe, robin givhan, washington post, washingtonian

Three Cheers for KidsPost

In trying to explain why it took him so long to inform the public about his shooting of Harry Whittington, Dick Cheney has offered the excuse that the story was “complicated.” While taking last week’s newspapers to the recycling bin today, we came across this discussion of the Cheney shooting incident in KidsPost, the Washington Post’s page for children:

Imagine this: You’re playing baseball with your brother when you accidentally hit him in the eye with the ball. You go inside, and the sitter gets ice for your brother’s eye. Your mom is at work, but you don’t call to tell her. Maybe that’s because you are worried about your brother, or maybe you don’t think it’s a big deal, or maybe you know you might be in trouble, even though you didn’t mean to hurt anyone.

If you can imagine that situation, you might be able to imagine the kind of week that Vice President Richard Cheney has had.

See, Mr. Vice President — the story wasn’t that complicated! The KidsPost explanation is nearly perfect. The only thing we’d do differently is refer to Cheney as “Dick” (but we can understand why the family-friendly KidsPost decided not to).

We sure like this KidsPost thing. It’s more fun to read than The Note, more coherent than Robin Givhan. What more could you ask for?

Today’s News: The Vice President’s Hunting Accident [KidsPost/WP]

READ MORE: dick cheney, hunting accidents, kidspost, robin givhan, the note, washington post

Remind Us Not to Hit Up the Men’s Warehouse With the Veep Either

Robin Givhan, the Post’s resident Style Deconstructionist, weighs in on the Vice President’s contrite neckwear:

For Clinton, a pink suit worked like a shield. For Cheney, a pink tie was a weapon.

Robin, we’ve been over this. For Cheney, a pink tie is but another in a long line of poor wardrobe choices. If he shows up to the interview with a 28-gauge shotgun, then you start worrying.

Winning Flush [WP]

READ MORE: dick cheney, guns, hunting accidents, robin givhan, style, ties, unfortunate metaphors, washington post