Remainders: Failures To Launch Edition

• Yes, tipsters, we know all about how Jessica Cutler's most famous sperm donor was in town, sporting a new “salt and pepper” beard, discussing something really boring, and, no, we don't know if he'll be out this weekend prowling for poontang and how much he's willing to pay. Why not go get this sort of information from Jessica? I'm sure she'll have something on her blog once she spits out this afternoon's dicks. [Cleveland Plain Dealer]

• Matthew McConaughey slowly brings a Dubai-crazed nation back to a state of blunted serenity. [What Would J. Crew Do?]—NOW UPDATED!

• Our sports obsessed brother sends us an image that might make the MLB despair. We return the favor to our fellow Cardinals fanatic: Look close, Will—“Rock, Chalk, God Hates Gayhawks!” [Deadspin]

• Laugh your ass off at “Flickr: The Movie” [Screenhead, tip from Lindsayism]

READ MORE: Fred Phelps, Kansas Jayhawks, Remainders, St. Louis Cardinals, abortion protests, chronicling the end of sarah jessica parker, deadspin, flickr, jessica cutler, lindsayism, matthew mcconaughey, robert steinbuch, screenhead, sexual deviance

PoliGawk: Whoring the Corporate Way

A week’s worth of politics, Gawker Media Empire style:

• J-Lo’s minions humiliate PETA activist Heather Mills. [Gawker]
• LA saved from blackout mayhem by “rescue specialist” Sean Penn. [Defamer]
• Bomb disposal truck apparently smarter than its drivers. [Gizmodo]
• New Orleans has always been about titties. Now make titties about New Orleans. [Fleshbot]
• The bright side of high fuel prices: Still cheaper than cigarettes. “Quit smoking and start huffing gas.” [Jalopnik]
• Of course the new Jeep is called “The Patriot.” Of course. [Jalopnik]
• When videogames are outlawed, only outlaws will have video games. [Kotaku]
• Screenhead points to “The Truth about PETA,” W’s “Asshole,” “Katrina: The Gathering,” “Get Your War On does Hurricane Katrina,” and “Recall George.”
• We are apparently very lame. [Gawker]

READ MORE: fleshbot, gawker, gawker media empire, gizmodo, jalopnik, kokatu, screenhead