Remainders: Sweet Summer Sack Sweat

• Jonah Goldberg really wants some holographic technology, ‘cause regular internet porn just isn’t doing it for him any more. [The National Review]

• “Dick Cheney’s a barely human, oozing, feces-covered demi-gorgon who rips the heads off ducklings just for sport.” That, and uh, Lee Siegel likes licking blogger scrotum. [Rude Pundit]

• Dick Cheney will lick John King’s blood stain off his boots if he asks him one more question about “that damn gay book Mary wrote.” [The Petrelis Files]

• The Guardian newspaper: the British curmudgeon’s first place for news. [PSFK]

• The kind of mad libs the White House press corps plays on those middle-of-the-night flights to Iraq. [Concurring Opinions]

• Utah congressional candidate John Jacob knows that he’d be swimming in cash, Scrooge McDuck style, if it wasn’t for, uh, Satan. [Salt Lake City Tribune]

• Beware the heavenly power of the Blogfather! [Red State]

READ MORE: Remainders, Utah, balls, campaigns, dick cheney, eavesdropping, jerome armstrong, john king, jonah goldberg, mad libs, mary cheney, porn, satan, scrotums, self-writing jokes, the blogfather, white house press corps

If Only Nicholas Kristof Wrote About Swollen Scrotums

In a shrewd bid for that public service Pulitzer, the New York Times has been running a series of articles about five diseases that, while extinct in the developed world, continue to afflict Third World nations. In Sunday’s paper, the Times reported on filariasis, a disease of the lymphatic system that causes swelling and fever.

The Timesfolk know how to get their readers to care. They hit them where it hurts, namely, in the balls:

[Ten] times as common [as swollen legs] is the symptom that is almost never spoken of: the engorged scrotums, known as male hydrocele (Greek for water bulge). In cities like Leogane, more than a quarter of the men are tormented by the condition, their scrotum swelling to the size of a softball, or a basketball in severe cases.

OWWW… When this article was mentioned at dinner last night, the men at the table doubled over in vicarious, imagined pain. (Yes, this is what passes for mealtime conversation at Wonkette.)

We predict that donations to charities fighting filariasis will far outstrip those for the four other profiled diaseases. If you’d like to learn how to help, information will eventually be available here. (It appears that the Times hasn’t updated its Health page with information about organizations that seek to eradicate filariasis; hopefully they will do so soon.)

Beyond Swollen Limbs, a Disease’s Hidden Agony [NYT]

READ MORE: Media, balls, diseases, filariasis, new york times, nicholas kristof, scrotums, third world