• Watch Countdown with Keith Olbermann tonight — which will be featuring one of your Wonketteers as a guest. It’s on MSNBC at 8 PM EST and again at midnight.

• Attend the Media Research Center’s 19th Annual DisHonors Awards Gala — along with the other Wonketteer. The event is sold out — so if you don’t have a ticket yet, hang out near the entrance of the Grand Hyatt, and stalk your favorite conservative rock-star pundit.

• Sure, it’s a cliche; but really, they’re quite beautiful. Go out and enjoy the cherry blossoms, which are in glorious bloom. The weather couldn’t be better for it.

How do we know about the weather? We stepped out briefly this afternoon for coffee — a break from our usual routine. Team Wonkette: We stay at home, so you don’t have to.

In the Shameless Plug file:

Something you wanted to ask us? Come by Wonkette’s Washington Post live chat today at 3. We’ll be answering heavily-moderated questions with long strings of expletives and personal attacks on various Post staff. It oughtta be fun — here’s a selection (quickly deleted) from the Live Discussion with the creators of Thank You For Smoking:

Harrisburg, Pa.: Mr. Buckley: I recall your entering a hallway to give a speech when a woman (one of your fellow Republican poiticians, in fact) came up to you and was quite upset. She stated she opened one of the books of yours they were selling the hallway and the first thing she saw was a swear word. She expressed serious disappointment in the use of swear words. I recall you then turned to me, as I was behind you, and you told me “in a few minutes, that woman is going to be very disappointed.” I have read and appreciate your books, and I don’t care if there is profanity or not. Do you have a particular philosophy on the use of profanity?

Jason Reitman: I try to use profanity less and less in my writing and certainly on my TV appearences, but there are times when only the F word will do.
p.s. Give my regards to the lady in the hallway and tell her to **** off.

We’ll be working to keep Deborah Howell on her toes.

And speaking of chats: In case you missed it, the illness-delayed Chatology, by Original Wonkette, was posted after-hours last night — check it out now, so that you’ll be able to speak knowledgeably about last Sunday’s talk shows at work tomorrow. Your coworkers already think you’re a jackass anyway, being a couple days late won’t change that.

Wonkette Live [WP]
Chatology: No News Is… No News

Quick! Guess which one used to be lawyer! (Photo ? Nikola Tamindzic/AMBREL.net)

You know what we’re sick of? Bylines. That’s why as of today there won’t be any more little gray words at the ends of posts on Wonkette. We’re marking the occasion with a fancy redesign and with the hiring of some new guys (that’s right, guys) to run things around here.

I’m Alex Pareene. That’s me on the right (though please note — I’m on David’s left). It is in my contract that all mentions of me in the press be preceded by the words “20-year-old NYU dropout.” I used to be the Gawker Temp, and I cut my teeth writing a blog no one ever read called Buck Hill. I’m originally from Minnesota, home of some of the 20th century’s greatest failed presidential candidates and rock bands, I have the Gawker Media-mandated unhealthy obsession with media, and I think I may be the only person in DC who doesn’t own a suit or business cards (though the bosses promise me they’ll hook me up with the latter).

David Lat, the Cathy to my Patty, is on the left, holding the pink umbrella (not the cigarette). He’s a former federal prosecutor who penned Underneath Their Robes, the cheeky, irreverent, occasionally salacious gossip blog devoted, improbably enough, to federal judges. His nom de blog was “Article III Groupie,” a sexy, fashion-obsessed female associate at a big law firm.

Back in November, after David revealed himself as UTR’s author in an interview with the New Yorker, things got a little weird for him at his day job. David’s supervisors at the U.S. Attorney’s Office were less than pleased to learn of his alter ego as the drag queen of the legal blogosphere (“for the record,” sez David, “I was not fired or asked to resign”). At this point, David realized that he was meant for something more scandalous and tawdry (if a bit less well-compensated) than the practice of law. And since he already had experience blogging as a catty woman with an intense interest in topics that most people find soporific, what better place for him to wind up than at Wonkette?

We’re both fresh in from New York, so it could be some time before we remember which one is the Capitol and which one is the capital, stop asking people what happened to all the letters and numbers on the subway map, and learn to suppress our slack-jawed amazement when we actually see someone reading the Washington Times (in public!), but we’re quick studies. By the way, DC, we need to sit down some time and have a serious talk about how the hell taxis are supposed to work. Also, we just checked, and dudes, we totally don’t have any congressmen! What the hell?

Though things will be a bit different around here, don’t fret too much. Wonkette Emeritus Emerita (who knew?) Ana Marie Cox will be popping in regularly to deliver your fix, and Henry the Intern is still secretly running the entire show from his remote, impenetrable fortress.

All we ask is that you keep sending in tips, links, sightings, libelous rumors, self-published op-eds, and general vitriol. We look forward to getting you or someone you know indicted.