Wonkette’s Week in Review: Not Made of Sugar

• The Supreme Court bench-slapped the White House in the Gitmo military tribunal case. Tony Snow is unfazed: “Oh, those wacky Supreme Court justices, who knows what those guys mean!”

• Katherine Harris: just as crazy as last week.

• Tom DeLay doesn’t mind a nice landing strip, but he prefers a shaved beaver.

• Congressmen sneaking around Iraq looking for WMD better not forget their 3-D glasses.

• We wandered around One First Street for hours, left some drool on the marble floors, and were shocked — shocked! — at the poor footwear choices of tourists.

• The New York Times is a little rusty on their 40’s war-effort OPSEC propaganda slogans. They forgot the part after “loose lips sink ships” that goes, “And whoever’s lips did the sinking gets summarily executed.”

• Senator Chuck Grassley is tired of only being able to roll 24-inch rims while the pimps in Souf Eazt push 26” blades, so he calls for “Lengthy audits of their lifestyles.” Really, he just wants to know where they get their suits.

• A little flooding of biblical magnitude never hurt anybody.

• God had to send all that rain to keep the flags safe. These colors don’t run! Except on “heavy wash” setting with hot water.

• The Hill Intern Hotties winners could catch fire in a hurricane.

• We get a little caught up in the Congressional Baseball Game. In fact, you could say that we lost ourselves.

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Tom DeLay, Shaved Beaver: Together at Last

We knew we should’ve renewed our membership at the Safari Club. They had a celebrity auctioneer Tuesday night, you see, by the name of Tom DeLay. One of the items he auctioned off was “a sheared beaver fur vest,” and before you start sniggering at that, well, the former Majority Leader was way ahead of you.

Heard on the Hill quotes DeLay-as-auctioneer: “Who wants a beaver?” “Everybody likes beaver, even women” and (“as a couple of people in the crowd recall”), “The best thing about it, it’s a shaved beaver!”

At one point, as the bidding went up, DeLay pointed in the crowd to Sen. Richard Burr (R-N.C.) as he held up the fur vest and said, “Sen. Burr, they don’t have beaver like this down in North Carolina.”

Burr, according to his spokeswoman, got to the event late and “was not aware” that DeLay had impugned the beaver of North Carolina.

The beaver went for $1400. To a lobbyist, natch. DeLay’s daughter Danni DeLay Ferro, acting as spokeswoman, points out that, had the item been different, her father “could have made a joke about a shaved zebra, but that’s not what the item was … it was what it was.” As Gertrude Stein said, a shaved beaver is a shaved beaver is a shaved beaver.

Leave it to Beaver [Roll Call]

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