It’s Patrick Kennedy!

We just wanted to call a little more attention to this brief portion of today’s “Heard on the Hill:”

One source tells HOH that by order of the District of Columbia Superior Court, where Kennedy was sentenced last month, a probation officer accompanied by a D.C. police officer pays random visits to Kennedy’s Capitol Hill apartment on as little as 10-minutes notice.

Which sounds degrading, humiliating, and hilarious. Can’t you see the sitcom plots that will surely follow? Swingin’ Hill bachelor Pat and his wacky neighbor Jim (R-MN) have to stay out of trouble, ‘cause they never know when that crusty-but-lovable Cap Police officer played by Ed Asner’s gonna stop in and ruin a dinner date with the Sanchez sisters or, you know, a visit from “Dr. Feelgood.” And uh oh, looks like dad wants to bring a date home to his son’s pad — on the same day Pat’s supposed to host the Congressional AA meeting!

Life After Fender Bender [Roll Call]

READ MORE: addiction, alcohol, congress, patrick kennedy, sitcoms, ted kennedy

Iraq War Jumps Shark

Why, HBO? Why?

The premium network is developing “Hotel Palestine,” a half-hour comedy about a group of wartime journalists living in a Baghdad hotel.

No no no. We’re going to pretend we didn’t read that. Thank you.

Remember that story about the wacky terrorist sleeper cell sitcom that everyone in Hollywood loved but no one was brave enough to produce? Yeah, the reason is because it was a marginally funny idea for an SNL sketch, not a weekly series.

Hell, maybe it could work. It could be like a modern-day The Front Page, except Hilly would be held for ransom by extremists and Walter Burns would be fired when conservative blogs seized upon off-the-record remarks on the US military’s shelling of the titular hotel. You know, funny stuff.

HBO Planning Comedy Set In… Baghdad? [TVWeek]

READ MORE: bad ideas, hbo, hotel palestine, iraq, sitcoms, terror, tv, war

Oh, Look, It’s the Ides of March: Jessica Cutler’s TV Show

wonkette: sarah jessica parker’s exec producing a sitcom about jessica cutler. seriously, i need something to say beyond “jesus fucking christ i hate america”
operative: i think that works
operative: hey, if it keeps her off the streets….
wonkette: obviously, i just wanted someone else to share my pain
operative: also: America needs to know that lobbyists are not, in fact, the lowest form of Washington life
wonkette: clearly. if they were, there would be sitcoms about them.
operative: also: as if flyover country needed more proof that DC is an amoral wasteland
operative: wait til the tourism board hears about this? heeelllllo, cherry pie, indeed!
operative: SHE GOT A BLENDER
operative: not even A REAL HOOKER
operative: BLENDER
operative: the mind boggles what she’d do for a viking range
wonkette: it certainly doesn’t help the whole dc inferiority complex. our most famous whores make out like runners-up on game shows
operative: most famous whores wear fedoras to their indictment
operative: omg
operative: the ABRAMOFF-CUTLER show!
operative: so best
wonkette: !!!
operative: i would totally watch that
wonkette: sharing an apartment, natch. accidental pda switch leads to HILARIOUS MIX-UPS
operative: doing coke together, talking about body image issues
wonkette: clearly a dharma and greg for the post 9/11 world

D.C. skein gets HBO vote [Variety]

READ MORE: bad ideas, hbo, ides of march, jessica cutler, operatives, scandal, sex, sitcoms, top, tv, washingtonienne

If It Bends…

We’re sorry, could you repeat that? A story on Iraqi sitcoms?

We called Iraqi TV and spoke with Amjad Hameed, head of the entertainment division, and asked if we could profile one of his new shows. He was happy to help, and was particularly excited about a new show called “Me and Layla” — starring the Danny DeVito of Iraq, Odei Abdel-Sattar — [that] is a sitcom about a hapless romantic.

!!!

“The Danny DeVito of Iraq”!!

“Me and Layla”!!

HOLY SHIT DEMOCRACY IS ON THE MARCH!! IT’S TRUE!

Comedy has been a struggle here for quite some time. In the 1990s, a Kurdish comedy troupe had a routine about Saddam Hussein — that is, of course, until Saddam reportedly sent an assassin to have the troupe members killed.

Ok, now it’s like a Tom Stoppard re-write of To Be Or Not to Be, but still, NOW IRAQ HAS SITCOMS! Can romantic comedies starring “the John Cusack of Iraq” be far behind?

And wow, it’s like the most perfect fluff piece ever, with a happy little “amidst the chaos, laughter” kinda tag, and you can just see Elizabeth Vargas introducing it with a slight almost-smile, and ABC, you’re trying oh so hard to appeal to all those people you polled who said they wanted to hear good news from Iraq, and then…

During the ABC News visit, Mustafa received some terrible news. He grabbed the show’s director to tell him: Their boss, Amjad Hameed — the head of the entertainment division for Iraqi TV, the man who had arranged for the shoot — just minutes before had been assassinated, shot by gunmen on his way to work. Both he and his driver were killed.

Oh. Well, uh… new direction for the story, guys. Yeah, drop that “tragedy plus time” thing, let’s go with “horrible, gruesome, perfect metaphor for day-to-day life in postwar Iraq.” Which is funny in that grandly existential pointless absurdity of existence sense, right?

Well, guess you had to be there.

Searching for Comedy Amid Iraq’s Tragedies [ABC]

READ MORE: comedy, death, horrible, gruesome, perfect metaphors, iraq, sitcoms, the danny devito of iraq, war

More DC TV: There Are Three Things Wrong With That Title

Since we’re on the subject of fated-for-disaster entertainment-industry interpretations of our fair town, a reader sent us this blurb for an upcoming sitcom sure to be as popular and long-running as Capital Critters:

CBS has brought in Jane Krakowski to star in its comedy pilot Sex, Power, Love & Politics, focused on a group of Capitol Hill staffers, all in their mid-30s. This project is from Sony Pictures TV
From The Futon Critic:

SEX, POWER, LOVE & POLITICS (CBS, New!) - Writer/producer Greg Malins (“Will & Grace”) has set up a new multi-camera comedy at the Eye and Sony Pictures Television about four underachieving staffers in their mid-30s who work on Capitol Hill. It’s understood “Sex” was the subject of a bidding war between CBS, ABC and FOX with the former obviously landing the project. As for specifics, “Sex” will track the quartet, all of whom live next to each other, as they juggle their political work and personal lives, as well as socialize at the neighborhood bar.

Above, popular and attractive actress Jane Krakowski. Below, a standard photo of three randomly-selected Capitol Hill staffers.
Of course they’re all on their way to the neighborhood bar to throw back a few and banter irreverently about their jobs (“More like the Honorable Mr. BUZZKILL!”); it’s been a long, hard day of repeatedly revising their bosses’ Wikipedia articles. Then they’ll all talk about their crazy love lives — except for the broom, who is sleeping with Representative John Kline (R-MN).

READ MORE: bad ideas, cbs, hill staffers, sitcoms, television, tv