It’s Almost Enough to Distract Us From the Dry, Lengthy Discussions of Quasi-Legal Appropriations-Related Misdoings

Did you see that fascinating piece on pardoning Scooter Libby over at… uh…

Oh, what about that exclusive Safavian… well…

Jesus, Josh, how much did Clooney pay you? That is the single most hideous ad buy we’ve ever seen.*

Please take your future ad advice from Liberty University.

*Second-most hideous, anyway.

Talking Points Memo

READ MORE: ads, blogs, josh marshall, screenshots, syriana, talking points memo

Saddam Hussein: Fists of Fury!

In court today, Saddam Hussein announced that he and some of his co-defendants have been on a hunger strike to protest his prosecution. Some have reacted skeptically to that claim; but until we see another photo of a shirtless Saddam in his tightey-whiteys, we will withhold judgment.

Actually, based on the photograph above, we think Saddam looks pretty good — whether or not he’s really been on a hunger strike. Come to think of it, a hunger strike might be a bad idea. If Saddam maintains his robust physique (and beard), he can be played by George Clooney — who’s depressed about all the weight he gained for “Syriana” — in “Saddam: The Movie.”

As for a stunt double, based on Saddam’s flying fists, we’d suggest Jackie Chan. Just take a minute to stare at Hussein’s hands in the photo. They’re kind of hypnotic, aren’t they? You’re getting sleepy, very sleepy…

Hussein Tells Court He Is On Hunger Strike [NYT]
Saddam’s On a Hunger Strike: Are You Sure About That? [Merlot Democrats]
Taking Names [WT]

READ MORE: Funny Pictures, george clooney, hunger strikes, jackie chan, saddam hussein, syriana

Shorter Syriana

In the world of Middle East oil production, multinational petrochemical mergers, and global Wahhabist terrorism, everything is connected.

Except for that whole drunk dad all pissed off and hanging out on Jeffrey Wright’s stoop. What was that all about? Seriously, that felt totally tacked on.— DCEIVER

READ MORE: seriously, what the fuck?, syriana

Remainders: What Happens Above the 49th Parallel, Stays Above the 49th Parallel

• This hot sauce tastes good on everything! Except yellowcake. [Gawker]

• “In the War on Christmas, everything is connected.” [SFGate.com]

• Bill O’Reilly breaks out the loofah: “I can’t — I can’t do — I can’t do everybody. I’m trying to do the big ones that are all over the place.” Now can we be on your poncey blacklist? [Sepia Mutiny]

• Yeah? Well…we’ve got Joementum! [Gridskipper]

• Canada: they just get what we’re talking about. [New York Times]— DCEIVER

READ MORE: bill o’reilly, canada, gawker, gridskipper, joe lieberman, loofah, sex, syriana, valerie plame, war on christmas

Gossip Roundup: The Twins in ‘Fancy Tops’

• Reliable Source: Advisors to Kathleen Babineaux Blanco had their own concerns about the Louisiana governor’s wardrobe during the Katrina aftermath… Bush twins spotted “in fancy tops and jeans, dining on sushi, scallops and sea bass at Oya with eight other gals” on Friday night… Clay Aiken checked into the Madison Hotel under the name Jimmy Carter… Dr. Phil seen at Georgetown Haagen-Dazs. [WP]
• Under the Dome: House debate turns disorderly… Rep. John Dingell (D-Mich.) celebrates 50 years in Congress today… Michael Chertoff sees “Syriana” in Georgetown. [The Hill]
• Lloyd Grove’s Lowdown: John Kerry wines and dines about three dozen former campaign staffers. Chris Heinz, meanwhile, may run for Congress. [NYDN]
• Fox 411: Al Gore hosts screening of Tommy Lee Jones’ new film, recalls reading the Bible with former college roommate. [Fox News]

READ MORE: 2004, 2008, Personalities, al gore, barbara bush, chris heinz, clay aiken, dr. phil, jenna bush, jimmy carter, john dingell, john kerry, kathleen blanco, katrina, michael chertoff, syriana, tommy lee jones

Gossip Roundup: A Western ‘Bandit Act’

• Reliable Source: Subject matter of “Syriana” was toned-down for the heartland. [WP]
• Under the Dome: Bill Clinton will be in town tomorrow to receive award from National Education Association… George Clooney hired outside communications firm to “manage the political fallout” for “Syriana”… National Republican Congressional Committee misspells site of fundraiser: it’s at a spelling bee, not a “spelling bell.” [The Hill]
• Rush & Molloy: Nobel laureate for literature Harold Pinter: “The invasion of Iraq was a bandit act, an act of blatant state terrorism, demonstrating absolute contempt for the concept of international law.” [NYDN]

READ MORE: Personalities, bill clinton, george clooney, harold pinter, iraq, syriana