• Heard on the Hill: Sen. Bill Frist’s middle son Jonathan has a Facebook profile, complete with “hunky photos” and strange group affiliations… Oxygen is recruiting for a reality show called “Capitol Hill Girls”… Jack Abramoff listed Rep. Bob Ney’s golf handicap, but the congressman doesn’t even play. [Roll Call]
• Washington Whispers: Laura Bush’s press secretary was “American Idol” Taylor Hicks’s ninth-grade teacher, so they’re trying to arrange a White House visit… Margaret Spellings is learning Arabic. [USN&WR]

• Short week, short review. First thing you need to know is: on Friday, Wal-Mart tried to answer the questions, “Why you acting shady? Why you ain’t callin’ me baby?”, by having Beyonce and Taylor Hicks perform at their shareholder meeting. CostCo admits they were served.

• In its infinite wisdom, DHS slashed the terror prevention budgets for DC and NYC, redirecting the money towards protection of the nation’s critical booze-producing infrastructure.

• When one slow news day turns into two, you start a slow news streak, and once you’re there, you have to start either making **** up or codifying the obvious.

• 700 million dollar man Hank Paulson was nominated for Treasury Secretary. Everyone is still waiting for the big “Sike!” regarding his love of nature and all God’s creatures.

• After they finished the “rock paper scissors” tournament, the Maryland jury in the “Sniper” case figured enough time had passed to make it look real, and convicted John Allen Muhammad.

• No, Al Gore is not running for President — he’s running for Earth.

• A week without Katherine Harris is like a week without air. Luckily, she’ll never be too far away, regardless of how much it costs.

UPDATE: He’s on early! He’s on now!

The Wal Mart Stores shareholder’s meeting started about 90 minutes ago — it’s being broadcast live from their website, even! Why should you care? Well, now that Katie’s gone, there’s not much else to watch in the mornings, but more importantly, AMERICAN IDOL’S OWN TAYLOR HICKS WILL BE PERFORMING LIVE! AND BEYONCE!

Yep, at 10:15 EST, the WMT live webcast of their shareholder’s meeting will get a WHOLE LOTTA SOUL. Beat that, CostCo! Maybe if you didn’t waste so much money on labor, you’d be able to afford some decent entertainment, huh?

Go, watch! It’s live and it’s free and it’s Friday! We hope they duet on “Crazy in Love” with Hicks taking the Jay-Z part, because how awesome would that be? Wait, no, with Tom Coughlin taking the Jay-Z part! And the surviving members of the Walton family singing backup! Yes!

Live webcast here, with performances to be archived here.

• Under the Dome: Rep. Marsha Blackburn (R-Tenn.) is named the “hottest woman in U.S. politics” by Politics1.com… Sens. Mary Landrieu (D-La.) and David Vitter (R-La.) plug New Orleans during “The Price is Right”… Sen. Sam Brownback (R-Kan.) wants to cut tariffs on duties on “padded potty seats,” “traveler padded-potty seats,” and “contoured padded-infant potty seats.” [The Hill]
• Reliable Source: Bushes invite relatives of those who died on Flight 93 to White House screening of “United 93.” [WP]
• Rush & Molloy: Condoleezza Rice rooted for “American Idol” Taylor Hicks. [NYDN]
• Lloyd Grove’s Lowdown: Jon Voight supports the war on terrorism: “This is a hideous, cunning, clever enemy who lives off a program of murderous thoughts.” [NYDN]