Guessing Game Results: The Thong

Earlier this week, we asked you for your guesses as to which senior Administration official gave her party guests a glimpse of her thong (which, a reader advises us, is commonly referred to as “a whale tail” — see photo at right to understand why). You gave us some pretty interesting responses, which we’ll now share in these pages.

Before doing so, however, here’s a caveat from a reader who views this as much ado about nothing: “No woman wears ‘full-bottom’ panties anymore. Tell your tipster to get with it.”

After the jump, your uneducated guesses and wild speculation as to the identity of the thong-sporting official.

Here are some of the guesses we received:

• “Was it Ken Mehlman?”

Probably not. First, as Chairman of the Republican National Committee, Mehlman doesn’t count as an “Administration official.” Second, everyone knows Mehlman wears garter belts and stockings.

• “Harriet Miers, her 15 minutes aren’t over yet!”

Sorry, dunno what kind of underwear she likes — you’d have to ask Nathan Hecht.

• “Your reader’s story suggests this took place ‘[s]ome time ago.’ Therefore I’m submitting Madeleine Albright. Oh da horra, da horra!”

• “The key phrase is ‘Some time ago,’ meaning the thong wearer may not be a current administration official. My guess is Christie Whitman. She comes from New Jersey, not far from our fair City of Sinful Delights, Blue State, USA. Where else would a thong-wearer come from?”

• “it’s impressive. not only did you promise to keep the identity a secret, you also changed the gender of the pronouns. because, really, we all know it’s Chertoff after that earlier AP story line.”

• “Karen Hughes”

Hughes was actually the most popular guesss — but she’s a Texan, which makes her an unlikely candidate. In our original post, we floated the name of Secretary Margaret Spellings as a possibility. A reader indignantly responded: “You don’t honestly think it is Margaret Spellings, do you? She’s from Houston, and we all know that Texans don’t wear thongs. They go commando!”

Earlier: Senior Administration Official Guessing Game: The Thong

READ MORE: blind items, christine todd whitman, harriet miers, ken mehlman, madeleine albright, margaret spellings, michael chertoff, pantie-raiding, senior administration official guessing game, thongs, women’s undergarments

For the Record: A Few Fashion Notes

Fashion Week just ended back in New York. But here at Wonkette, it’s just getting started!

Earlier today, our Capitol Fashion Police arrested Dana Milbank of the Washington Post, based on the ridiculous “hunting outfit” he wore when he went on MSNBC to talk about the Cheney hunting accident. We thought his costume was hideous; but now we learn it wasn’t even accurate. A reader advises:

Just for the record, the orange vest Dana Milbank wore on TV is NOT a hunting vest. It is clearly a vest manufactured, sold, and used for highway construction workers. The hat, besides being goofy, was probably not purchased at a hunting store. I’m no color wheel expert, but the color has too much red and isn’t close enough to hunter’s florescent orange. And a hunter wouldn’t have that tuft of material hovering over his head. It would hit branches and leaves as he turns his head and alert the quarry. A hunter’s knit cap would be much closer to the head and without excess material. “False but accurate!”

And last week, we blogged about the visible thong of Stormie Janzen, one of several sexy staffers to Sen. Jeff Sessions (R-Ala.). A reader sent us this query:

A quick question — why does everyone assume that the underwear being shown is a thong? It’s certainly not apparent from that picture [from her blog]. It could just be some sort of string bikini, eh?

Point well-taken. So if any of you have firsthand information that the undergarment in question is a thong, please let us know!

Earlier: Jeff Sessions: Hottest Staff on the Hill?
Capitol Fashion Police Arrests Dana Milbank
BREAKING (Despite the Elastic): Stormie Janzen’s Thong!

READ MORE: dana milbank, fashion, jeff sessions, sex, stormie janzen, style, thongs, women’s undergarments

Senior Administration Official Guessing Game: The Thong

Past installments of our Senior Administration Official Guessing Game haven’t been huge hits around here. But you may feel differently about the latest edition.

Valentine’s Day makes people think of many different things: flowers, chocolate, candy hearts… and sexy underwear. A reader sent us this information:

Given your unseemly interest in women’s underwear, you are sure to enjoy this item. Some time ago, I was at a party at the home of [a senior Administration official]. At one point during the gathering, she had to reach for something on a low shelf. In doing so, she allowed me — and several other guests — to catch a glimpse of her underwear. And you’ll be thrilled to know that it wasn’t just an ordinary pair of panties. YUP: she was wearing a thong!

It wasn’t a particularly scandalous thong — just a simple, white cotton thong. But it was interesting that she was wearing it, since she wasn’t wearing a sheer dress or anything that might give rise to a “visible panty line” (VPL) problem. Maybe she just likes how it feels?

Very interesting… We promised this reader we wouldn’t reveal the identity of his friend, and we stand by our agreements with our sources.

But we didn’t say we wouldn’t allow our readers to speculate! So if you have any guesses, or hopes, as to the identity of this senior Administration official — Gale Norton? Elaine Chao? Condoleezza Rice? — please email us, with the word “thong” in the subject of your message. If we receive enough interesting or amusing responses, we may share them in these pages.

(Don’t worry, messages with “thong” in the subject make it past our spam filter. Trust us — we checked.)

Earlier: BREAKING (Despite the Elastic): Stormie Janzen’s Thong
Not to Start a Turf War Here, But Domestic Ladies’ Undergarments Are Clearly the FBI’s Domain

READ MORE: blind items, condoleezza rice, elaine chao, gale norton, pantie-raiding, senior administration official guessing game, thongs, women’s undergarments

Putting Stormie To Bed: A Final Post on the Scandal That Never Was

Yes, we know, you’re sick of reading about it. Well, we’re sick of writing about it! Hence this postscript to the whole saga of Stormie Janzen — the hot young Senate staffer whose sexy blog got shut down recently.

We’ve followed Stormiegate fairly closely, even obsessively, and now we’d like to close the loop on it. We wouldn’t want to leave you in suspense over the fate of the vivacious young blogress who gave rise to this pseudo-scandal (emphasis on “pseudo”).

To quote the Bard once again, “All’s well that ends well.” Amy Argetsinger and Roxanne Roberts offer this entertaining update in their Reliable Source column:

Stormie Janzen, 34, did not return calls yesterday. [Sen. Jeff Sessions’s] spokesman Michael Brumas confirmed that Janzen still has a job: “We have dealt with this matter, and it’s closed.”

Oh, come on! Hasn’t anyone called offering a book contract? “I have no idea,” Brumas said wearily. “I doubt it.”

Okay. Has Playboy called? “Why are you asking me these questions?” he groaned.

Well, because we’re always on the lookout for the next Washington sex mini-scandal. Granted, Janzen’s page at MySpace.com isn’t going to get her there. Those who saw it say her writing was pretty PG-13, nothing nearly as spicy as the famous “Washingtonienne” diary that caused Jessica Cutler to lose her congressional staff job but gain a book contract. Then again, she does have a great name…

“If I can do it,” Cutler told us, “why not Stormie?”

Here’s our take on the whole matter: At the end of the day, what a government employee does in her private life is nobody’s business but her own. As long as Stormie is doing her job, and doing it well, the fact that she maintains a somewhat racy blog about her personal life — or, say, a whimsically irreverent, completely non-substantive blog about federal judges — has no bearing whatsoever on her employment.

Our polemic continues after the jump.

Because Stormie was not blogging about her work for Senator Sessions, the contents of her blog were of no concern to his office. So what if some random Alabama constituent couldn’t handle a little thong? That’s the constituent’s problem, not Stormie’s. It’s not like the constituent was tied to a chair in Guantanamo, eyes taped open, forced to stare at Stormie’s bare midriff…

The “blogging while at work”/”misuse of government resources” argument is a makeweight contention. Every job, and especially every government job, has lots of downtime. If Stormie wants to use her downtime to do a little creative writing, while other Sessions staffers use theirs to buy crap on eBay, what’s the harm in that? As for the computer use, federal government employees “may use Government resources for personal purposes,” as long as the use involves only “de minimis” — that’s legalese for “really really little” — additional expense to the government.

Merely working for the government should not prevent you from expressing yourself on matters not directly related to your employment (with direct relation construed narrowly). To adopt a contrary rule would exert an unwanted chilling effect, deterring anyone remotely interesting, creative, witty, or fun from entering government service — which, if the current Congress is any indication, has already happened.

In the words of Judge Richard Posner, speaking from the perspective of a government employee, “We have free speech too, don’t we?”

Okay, we’re stepping off our soapbox — back to the gossip…

Stormie’s Blog, Too Hot for the Hill [WP]
Last Word (and photo) on Stormie-Gate [AlabamaElections]
BUMPED: STORMIE is SMOKING Hot! [DomePunks]

Earlier:
Stormiegate: A Bit of Meta-Commentary
BREAKING (Despite the Elastic): Stormie Janzen’s Thong!
Stormie Janzen: Tempest in a Teapot?
Just When You Thought It Was Safe To Go Back in the Blogosphere

READ MORE: blog, bloggers, blogging, blogosphere, blogs, capitol hill, jeff sessions, jessica cutler, michael brumas, pseudo-scandals, sex, sex scandal, stormie janzen, thongs, top, washingtonienne

BREAKING (Despite the Elastic): Stormie Janzen’s Thong!

Earlier today, to paraphrase Sisqo, we asked you to “let [us] see that thong.” We requested a screen capture of the infamous photograph showing Senate staffer Stormie Janzen’s bare-midriff-cum-thong.

One of you kindly complied with our request. We have posted this photo to the left, for your viewing pleasure.

Yes, the pic is tiny; but beggars can’t be choosers. And yes, you can barely see the vaunted thong; but isn’t reduced visibility the whole point of a thong?

After all, the telos of the thong as an undergarment is elimination of the dreaded visible panty line (“VPL”). If the curve of the thong seems to disappear as it asymptotically approaches the line of Janzen’s jeans — well, it’s just doing its job.

And so are we, in blogging so extensively about this ridiculousness…

(On a completely unrelated note, but while we have your attention, be sure to check out the first edition of Chatology: Digesting the Sunday Spew — featuring the one and only Ana Marie Cox!)

Earlier: Stormie Janzen: Tempest in a Teapot?
Just When You Thought It Was Safe To Go Back in the Blogosphere

READ MORE: Funny Pictures, blog, bloggers, blogging, blogosphere, blogs, breaking, capitol hill, funny screen caps, jeff sessions, sex, sex scandal, stormie janzen, thong song, thongs, top

Press Releases We Didn’t Finish Reading

READ MORE: fish, media missteps, press releases, thongs, top