BREAKING: WaPo Uses Style Section to Report on Superficiality Instead of Just Propagating It

Perhaps mindful of its own coming reckoning with flat circulation figures, the WaPo juggernaut dispatches Ariana Eunjung Cha to nail the story of how these fancypants “celebrity magazines” keep raking in the readers and ad bucks. Cha delivers the goods, in a singularly rapt account of an Us Weekly photo meeting:

Around 7:15 p.m., [Peter] Grossman, 30, a music education graduate student turned photo editor, came in bringing more shots—including one that showed [Brad] Pitt’s and [Pitt’s adopted daughter] Zahara’s faces, but extremely blurred. The room of editors erupted into a rapid-fire free-for-all.

“It’s a setup!”

“Who cares?”

“He’s really buff.”

“But he seems to have a careless hold on said baby.”

“Cute! Cute!”

Yes, fellow Americans: Nominal adults are pulling down six-figure salaries—and more; Cha reports that Us Weekly editor in chief Janice Min “earns” about $1.2 million a year—for yelling things like “Cute” and “He’s really buff.” Is it any wonder the apocalypse seems to be encroaching? Though then again, on the upside, Us can at least claim credit for there being one less music grad student in the world. —HOLLY MARTINS

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