It’s early yet, but we have a contender for funniest Post column of the year.

So Not Funny
Richard Cohen
Thursday, May 4, 2006; Page A25

First, let me state my credentials: I am a funny guy. This is well known in certain circles, which is why, even back in elementary school, I was sometimes asked by the teacher to “say something funny” — as if the deed could be done on demand. This, anyway, is my standing for stating that Stephen Colbert was not funny at the White House Correspondents’ Association Dinner.

It’s a bit of a conundrum. Clearly, Rich Cohen reaches a level of unfunny previously attained only by Matt Cooper. But that makes this entire first graf brilliantly ironic, beating Colbert at his own game. If Cohen knew how delusional that graf was, the joke is untenable! Scientists call this the Milbank Paradox.

So Not Funny [WP]

• Reliable Source: Cheney, at Fox News party, says Tony Snow will “do a superb job”… George Clooney, Joey Cheek in town for Sunday’s “Save Darfur” rally. [WP]
• Rush & Molloy: Rupert Murdoch to Snow: “Congratulations on your promotion - or maybe it’s a demotion.” [NYDN]
• Page Six: Snow isn’t “the greatest sax player”… Gen. Richard Myers dining at Da Tommaso in New York… Valerie Plame gets star treatment at a Vanity Fair party at the Tribeca Film Festival. [NYP]
• Inside the Beltway: Washington Life magazine hosts celebrity luncheon today, ahead of Correspondents’ Dinner. [WT]

• Heard on the Hill: Fitness instructor was “horrified” to find out that the Bush twins were in his spin class after he made jokes about the president and distributed a DVD of “Bushisms”… Tennessee House candidate Joe Ford Jr. uses MySpace instead of an official campaign site. [Roll Call]
• Reliable Source: Drew Lachey and Steve Case are also attending the Correspondents’ Association Dinner… Euan Blair has a late, antic-filled night… Birthday party for WRC anchor Wendy Rieger is nearly ruined by the Cheneys and the Rumsfelds. [WP]
• Under the Dome: Reps. Grace Napolitano (D-Calif.) and Lynn Westmoreland (R-Ga.) are the only House members who did not sponsor a single bill during this session… Princeton students Lauren Bush, presidential niece, and Harrison Frist, son of the senator, helped to select Bill Clinton as commencement speaker. [The Hill]
• Inside the Beltway: Politicians announce their commencement speech plans… Sandra Day O’Connor: “I was disappointed to see the percentage of women on the court drop by 50 percent.” [WT]
• Rush & Molloy: Mick Jagger won’t give up his hotel suite in Vienna for Bush… Bill Clinton, in Las Vegas, “enjoying Grey Goose, sea bass and apple pie.” [NYDN]
• Lloyd Grove’s Lowdown: Laura Bush holds White House screening of “Akeelah and the Bee.” [NYDN]