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The “Michele Bachmann is insane” news stories every day now are getting to the point where we are all just doing a sort of Michele Bachmann Mad Libs each time, something along the lines of, “Michele Bachmann is terrified of _(noun)_ because Jesus once told her in a dream that _(U.S. federal agency name)_ sodomized [...]
There is some other GOP presidential candidate we never actually even heard of named Fred Karger, but he is according to some poll tied with Tim Pawlenty, which feels about right. Karger is also one of the vanishingly rare openly gay Republicans people hear about on quiet days when the wind is still, which means [...]
Rick Perry and his gang of 30,000 sweaty, tearful homophobes spent Saturday singing and rolling around on the floor and eating pig anus sausages and nachos in a football stadium, so America is now “cleansed” according to its usual ritual standards. Was there *enough* hating of the gays and abortion doctors for God to finally [...]
Hey, Ohio! From now on it seems, odds are pretty good that the maniac driving like a sloshed fool down the state highway is one of your elected representatives. And don’t ask him why he isn’t wearing a shirt. He’s not wearing a shirt because he’s sweaty, obviously there is a heat wave everyone, which [...]
The American Chamber of Commerce is running a photo contest on Facebook asking people to “submit a photo of the American Dream as it is embodied by your small business or a business in your community.” HUUNNHHH? Apparently this was sort of a tough assignment for folk, correctly figuring out what the words in that [...]
We are still trying very hard to ignore this Casey Anthony thing, but it is difficult to do this when it continues to inspire the minds of Americans with abortion jokes and dumb talking points. Oh, in case you managed to escape this horror, Casey Anthony is a lady from Florida who probably murdered her [...]
Your Wonkette has been fastidiously trying to ignore anything related to this bizarre, sad Casey Anthony case, not only here but in life, because once upon a time there was such a thing as an “OJ Simpson trial,” which set everyone a very high bar for 24-hour reality crime shows that probably will never be [...]
Take heart, angry war fetus! The cranky olds of the Ohio House of Representatives have imaginary-heard your testimony and finally passed their “Fetal Heartbeat Bill,” an unconstitutional law that prohibits abortion after six weeks. In other words, this was a law passed “for fun,” as it has no chance of becoming actual law. Here is [...]
Here is your “GOP debate blingee” which, you know, hang in there. Your furriner editor is new at the blingee thing. SO HERE WE GO. Tonight’s debate is in New Hampshire, where Michele Bachmann last changed American history. Why was Sarah Palin trying to copy her so hard? Where is Sarah Palin, to wear the [...]
Dildo-shaped GOP presidential candidate Rick Santorum gave a speech in Iowa to remind voters that pregnant women are sick fakers who just love the late-term abortion fun. From ThinkProgress: Santorum: When I was leading the charge on partial birth abortion, several members came forward and said, “Why don’t we just ban all abortions?” Tom Daschle [...]
What does every wildly creepy pro-life goblin fantasize about doing to every pregnant teenage girl seeking an abortion? Kidnap and imprison her until she gives birth while terrorizing her with under-lit video conference lectures? Yeah, that. And behold: the world’s first “pro-life horror movie.” The film premiered this weekend at the Hoboken International Film Festival. [...]
Beloved welfare farmer and shaving opponent Joe Miller (R-Loser) finally has a political job! Don’t worry, Ivy League Joe still didn’t get elected to anything. Miller is just the chairman of some new Teabagger group dedicated to defeating the evil Mormon liberal elitist French-speaking Obamacare advocate from Taxachusetts, Mitt Romney. “In a matchup against Obama, [...]
Oh golly, just another eight months or so before the Iowa Caucus, which means it’s time for Wonkette to go into high gear. Mitt Romney is in Iowa! Michele Bachmann is planning an announcement at her personal Waterloo, which is a place actually called “Waterloo, Iowa,” where she was hatched from an emu egg beneath [...]
The problem with the Republican race for president, so far, is that there’s just not enough of the “craven opportunist stunt candidate on the make who also has a dreadful personal life.” Newt Gingrich just can’t handle all of this by himself! And Donald Trump never needed the money. Is there somebody else kind of [...]
By the Comics CurmudgeonHoly crap! Your Comics Curmudgeon got an email from Jack Stuef about “Retro Day” at Wonkette or some crap like that, and was all like, “Yeah, I could get in on that, good times,” and then Stuef went and did it on Thursday, apparently unaware that Cartoon Violence was always, always written [...]
