Famous ivory tower elitist/terrorist Bill Ayers endorsed this weekend’s Comedy Central rallies, which is a grave insult to the dear leader and progenitor of all rallies, Glenn Beck. [ImpeachObamaCampaign] Armies have no need for diversity — just look at the SS! [Breitbart] If Michelle Obama hates fat kids so much, shouldn’t she be trying to [...]
Meatball Succubus Christine O’Donnell has a big teevee showdown tonight with normal person Chris Coons. The debate will be held at the University of Delaware, so this will be the first time Christine O’Donnell actually steps foot in a “real school” that is not Fake Oxford. Will Christine accuse her opponent of trying to spread [...]
Have you pre-ordered your “wet section” box seats for the premiere of Fire from the Heartland: the Awakening of the Conservative Woman, Leni Riefenstahl’s most recent and celebrated film? We assume this documentary is about angry moms who want more wars for their children to die in, but watch the trailer and you shall quickly [...]
Down in the bog called Washington, where the menfolk cut the peat to warm the home hearths, they do speak of the passel of Dowd children. There was Joseph, killed by fire, twice. There was Martin, who drowned on dry land. There was the first set of twins, who perished of plow elbow and altar [...]
Last night, Barney Frank actually sat down next to and debated that LaRouchite Rachel Brown, whom he once compared to a dining room table and is now running against. She has lots of crazy signs, you will remember. Frank, surprisingly, came out against the position that Obama is Hitler and that America should immediately colonize [...]
Recent poll results confirm that America’s taste-makers, the Ohioans, believe that Congressional Minority Leader John Boehner is “just tooooo fuckin’ orange.” Why do they believe this? Oh, because they can see, with their buckeyes. Now one of Ohio’s libtard groups is using the poll results to their own ends, pointing out that Boehner’s push to [...]
Going on vacation is the best time to have one of the rooms in your house redecorated! Putting those words in that order is your key to enraging Americans everywhere, because Americans can not afford “redecoration” or “homes” or “rooms.” But elitist Barack Obama decided that his little trip to Gaysachusetts Island was the perfect [...]
Dick Armey sure seems like a jovial fellow, especially considering how often someone named “Dick Armey” must have gotten cruelly mocked as a child. In a lackadaisical interview with the Texas Tribune, he vaguely praises Rick Perry’s political opportunism, casually notes that Tom DeLay was a free-spending jerk, writes off Barack Obama’s 2012 chances, and [...]
The latest Gallup poll is out and it is … not very good, if you like the Democratic Party in charge of the nation’s legislature! On the “generic ballot,” Republicans are now 10 points ahead of Democrats. To find a polling gap that large, you’d have to go back to … oh, never. There’s never [...]
The bow tie hobbits at the Daily Caller landed a hot interview with Neocon Mustache Ride “John Bolton” — the premier authority on America’s #1 most-pressing issue: When Do We Bomb Iran? Bolton explained to Tucker Carlson’s gnome-slaves that bombing Iran is not in Barack Obama’s “DNA,” which sounds sort of racist! Questioning Obama’s genetic [...]
Your morning editor has an aversion to watching TV news of any political stripe, because it becomes impossible to block out the talking and the voices, they just keep coming at you, saying horrible, horrible things. But it seemed like it might be fun to watch a video in which Sarah Palin twitched and cooed [...]
Are you sick of the humdrum of the usual crazy candidates you’ve seen this summer on your Wonkette? Are they too poor for you? Are they too populist? Are they too unwilling to give campaign speeches immediately following a classical piano recital? Meet Rachel Brown, running against Barney Frank for Congress in Massachusetts’ 14th District. [...]
Perfectly nice Congressional-liberal-electing organization Blue America probably did not expect to get a public tongue-lashing on electioneering strategy from a blog mostly known for political buttsex jokes, back eight months ago when some eager intern added “tips@wonkette.com” to their distribution list. But when your morning editor deviated from his usual policy and actually clicked a [...]
There are so few heroes for the young people to look up to these days, what with Lindsay Lohan serving time and more and more Republicans opting for sex scandals involving consensual, heterosexual intercourse and so forth. So who should your children admire? They should admire Major General Jerry R. Curry, the army-man who knows [...]
You know, I originally pitched this weekly column to Tiger Beat, and they obviously jumped at it. But then I realized that the best place in the world for my devotion to Our Pantymelter in Chief was this reactionary liberal blog for overeducated elitist assholes, which is why Wonkette and I are happy to bring [...]
