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Welcome to the last GOP presidential debate of …eh, “tonight” is about all we can say for certain these days. UGH. Here’s a preview: Newt Gingrich will sneer at some minority and the audience will gnaw its fingers off with excitement, Mitt Romney will be asked to compare and contrast the feeling of wiping his [...]
That was faster than dumping an ex-wife in the cancer ward! Whining jewelry piglet and serial divorcing sac of ethics violations Newt Gingrich has just been projected as the Big Wiener of the South Carolina confederate primary. Should we live blog this historic moment, which comes exactly 15 years after the last historic moment for [...]
Indefensible lifelong asshole Jerry Lewis, Republican crook from California’s “Inland Empire,” will finally retire from the House because his district is no longer a geometric abomination carved out by his GOP cronies. Lewis, a hateful clown in a white fright wig, has spent his career being a complete asshole while lavishing pork projects on his [...]
Michelle Obama didn’t read that new book about her and the President, but she does have something to say about the tales therein. In an interview airing on CBS’s “This Morning” Wednesday (here’s a preview), the First Lady says, among other things, that she’s sick of being portrayed as “some kind of angry black woman.” [...]
Ready to ruin your Saturday night? Then please join us, as we liveblog the New Hampshire ABC News secret-handjob 2012 debate. Let’s hurt together, the way Santorum would want Jesus to hurt us, should we accidentally have the buttsex. Mitt Romney, known as “the guy who is really spending a lot of money to be [...]
Now that he’s just eight paid Romney supporters away from being the most popular Republican presidential candidate in all the land, Rick Santorum is getting a “second look” from many who had mostly forgotten about the Pennsylvania oddball back when he lost his Senate seat by 17 points, to a Democrat, in Pennsylvania. But Rick [...]
Woah! Ha ha, so in the last 48 hours the political narrative in Washington has followed a life cycle from “House Republicans won’t agree to the Senate’s two-month extension of a payroll tax cut for the freebie-loving middle class” to, now, “House Republicans are LITERALLY SETTING FIRE TO THE PARTY ITSELF,” and the Republican party [...]
They just don’t come more charming than Southern California Tea Party knob and failed local politician Jules Manson, previously known for not being elected as a councilman for the City of Carson and also for posting Obama=Hitler pictures. Jules Manson was not done with his Internet fame, however. Because now he has issued a CALL [...]
Biblehumper bozo barbie Rick Perry has been annoying everyone lately with his truly awful attempts to prove to the Jesus People contingent that he deserves to rule the country for his Tex-ass tuff talk on gays in the military, so it’s fitting and timely that openly gay former Texas legislator Glen Maxey (a Democrat, we [...]
We hear this is the “last” GOP debate of the year, but then again we also once believed Santa Claus was for real, so… who knows? What is for FACT is that we will be crawling into a closet to sob when this thing is over, because that is how we usually “come down” from [...]
What a charming holiday story: the nutsack owners of a Christian bookstore mega-chain are discontinuing sales of a particular Bible that donates one dollar of every sale to a breast cancer research charity, because of… what this time, charity being anti-free market or something? (Oops, we shouldn’t give them more ideas.) NO, it’s because the [...]
Our latest War Against Iraq is over, did you hear? The NYT home page helpfully put the years of the war in the headline, like you might for an obituary of Amy Winehouse or Dick Cheney: 2003-2011. That’s a long war, even compared to wars we supposedly won, like World War II. (Not quite as [...]
‘Venomous, Obese, Gullible Imbeciles’ — Genius Describes Americans In One Perfect Paragraph
by Wonkette Jr.
After today’s news about yet another reason for the whole world to despise Americans, Wonkette commenters discussed ways of avoiding death by angry mobs while traveling abroad. Ideas included dressing in the costume of a Canadian, and probably “weeping under the bed at a hotel.” But commenter GregComlish wins the afternoon with his comment: I [...]