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Haha, what the hell is going on in Iowa? Ron Paul is winning right now, with 15% of the Iowa Caucus Pie Socials reporting, while the disgustingly frothy Santorum Surge has sprayed all over Mitt Romney’s $25,000 suit. (Don’t worry, Mitt has another dozen $25,000 suits in his limo, and more in the suite, and [...]
Dead old racist warmongering anti-Semite misogynist criminal Richard Nixon might also have been a tender lover in the handful of moments in his life when he wasn’t up to something terrifying, sayeth a new book! Not to his wife, of course; she, like everyone else in America, was often brutalized by Tricky Dick. No, it [...]
‘Twas the night before Iowa, when all through the state, The wingnuts were fuming, their heads fat with hate. The caucus was planned, in just over a week, Yet the GOP candidates were unelectable freaks! The reporters were nestled in bedbug motels. Their noses recoiling from strange Iowa smells, Of corn syrup fields, and thick [...]
Past and future failed Senate candidate George Allen held a Facebook town-hall with Virginia shut-ins and others who could not click the “X” button in time. Okay, wait. Were we not explicitly promised that the 2006 clip of Allen calling a rival campaign staffer “macaca” was THE END of his political career, which at one [...]
NEW YORK—Horrible news out of Baghdad this morning, where a series of car bombs has now killed in excess of seventy and injured two hundred more. Today’s attack is symbolically significant, being the first such display of sectarian strife since the departure of American troops. The attack has left many on edge, worrying that Nuri [...]
NEW YORK—Good morning, Internet! Or not, actually, because we have to talk about the payroll tax cut again—and we’re getting so tired of talking about the payroll tax cut. So very tired. But here we are! Because John Boehner, a man widely heralded for his opposition to the punting of things and the kicking of [...]
They just don’t come more charming than Southern California Tea Party knob and failed local politician Jules Manson, previously known for not being elected as a councilman for the City of Carson and also for posting Obama=Hitler pictures. Jules Manson was not done with his Internet fame, however. Because now he has issued a CALL [...]
What are the racist loonballs up to in …let’s see, Ohio this time? Sure, why not give Arizona a quick break? Antiques-collecting landlord lady Jamie Hein of Cincinnati is apparently the sort of person who came to mind when someone wanted to gift a 1931 sign from Alabama that reads “Public Swimming Pool, White Only.” [...]
We hear this is the “last” GOP debate of the year, but then again we also once believed Santa Claus was for real, so… who knows? What is for FACT is that we will be crawling into a closet to sob when this thing is over, because that is how we usually “come down” from [...]
People who apparently actually read transcripts of Mitt Romney’s as-brittle-as-they-are-vacuous stump speeches noticed that he has been promising lately to “keep America American,” which is a creepy enough little nonsense phrase on its own presumably meant to ingratiate good ol’ boy Mittens with the feverish crowd of wingnut olds whose general political philosophy rests on [...]
GAH. When we pleaded with the universe last week for leading insane racist and pink panty queen Joe Arpaio to be the next high-profile Republican sheriff to become embroiled in a “ghey sex for meth” scandal, we made our offhanded Xmas wish sort of figuring that was the worst the universe could do on the [...]
Irrepressible scamp and incidental former lieutenant governor of Maryland Michael Steele testified Thursday as a character witness for Paul Schurick, an adviser in former Maryland governor Bob Ehrlich’s failed 2010 gubernatorial campaign who is in trouble for allegedly putting together an election-day robocall effort to drive down black turnout in the race. Schurick lined up [...]
Used condom George “Macaca” Allen has given humanity so many reasons to find him revolting that he is of course currently leading the pack of Republican primary candidates for the Virginia Senate race. But just to be extra sure to maintain his overall lead in tireless lifelong buffoonery, the Richmond Times-Dispatch reports that he has [...]
