• February 13, 2012

aarp

WHAT DOES JOHN MCCAIN WANT TO BOMB NOW?

John McCain Wants To Bomb AARP

by Jim Newell

3:16 pm November 18, 2009

Strife among the Olds! The principal actor in this particular Olds Drama, as in all Olds Dramas, is the elderly peacebomber John McCain, who is something like 87 years old. Standing opposite John McCain is the corrupt League of Olds, the AARP. Once friends, now foes, after the AARP recently *ruined everything* by endorsing ObamaCare, [...]

MAYBE THEY'RE CONFUSED?

Old People Lobby To Endorse House Health Care Bill

by Jim Newell

5:12 pm November 4, 2009

The American Association of Retired Persons (AARP), a vestigial structure in the American political apparatus dating back to old times when people “stopped working” at a certain age and lived off of pensions (nowadays it’s more common to work forever, after Wall Street loots your life savings from the 401(k) it pushed you into), will [...]

KEEP YOUR GOVERNMENT HANDS OFF MY MEDICARE

Olds Abandon AARP For More Conservative Senior Cabal

by Sara K. Smith

11:41 am August 19, 2009

The most fearsome paramilitary organization in the country, the AARP, has seen a precipitous decline in membership since they declared that maybe our nation’s health care system needed a tweak or two. Blasphemy! Between 50,000 and 60,000 members have quit the AARP in disgust since July 1.

SORRY GOP BUT THE AARP RUNS AMERICA

by Ken Layne

1:16 pm July 28, 2009

BARACK OBAMA SEXES UP THE OLDS, WITH HEALTH CARE! AARP, the shockingly powerful old-person lobby, is about to have Obama entertain the retired peoples with a live webchat! We cannot embed the video here, so go watch it with the early-bird dinner crowd and report back with spy info! It starts at 1:30 p.m. IT’S [...]