And aren’t we going to miss this guy, Mr. Richard Cheney? Here’s your “vice” president talking about his proudest moment: Authorizing the anti-American and unconstitutional torture of terror suspect. The 9/11 attacks didn’t “change” him, they just made him more right about everything! [ABC News]
Tomorrow night at 8pm on the teevee Barack Obama will give a LIVE Ginsu Knife demonstration and then show how Proactiv cleared up his terrible pustulent acne so that he could be president. That is his “closing argument!” BUT! You poor slobs who only get the ABC on your televisions will be out of luck, [...]
This New Depression has gotten off to a swimming start! Now that nobody has any homes or monies or televisions and the election is almost over, there will be no news anymore, so ABC News is instituting some DRACONIAN cost-cutting measures. No holiday parties, no more “paying for meals for impoverished tech crews on location” [...]
Excerpts have leaked from Charlie Gibson’s first of three interviews with Sarah Palin, which will be aired in some form tonight on his ABC News show. We were expecting a puffy sort of chit-chat, and it mostly is, except for the part where they talk about WAR WITH FREAKING RUSSIA. Now, when you run around [...]
WATCH YR CORNHOLE BUD: Ha, this dude we met at a cigar and liquor (and dildo) party the other night was comically arrested, covering “the role of corporate lobbyists and wealthy donors at the convention for a series of Money Trail reports” for ABC News. Well, when we saw him, he was just throwin’ those [...]
OH DON’T MIND US, LADIES: Hey Matt Jaffe and Rick Klein of ABC “News,” did we st-st-stutter when we wrote this story like a million years ago with “Must Credit Wonkette And Its Tipster, ‘John’” in the headline? No, and now “John” is sobbing, probably. JAKE TAPPER would’ve credited us because HE’S THE MAN and [...]
