afghanistan
Everyone knows that the ’60s are hipper than ever! But allegedly, some overachieving members of the 5th Stryker Combat Brigade, of the 2nd Infantry Division, weren’t content to have a Mad Men-themed costume party. No, it got real My Lai-licious over in the Afghanistan, at least according to evidence and testimony presented at a military [...]
What’s the latest news from America’s favorite man-made disaster, Afghanistan? At least two dozen people were killed at the polls during the latest and almost certainly rigged parliamentary elections. Officials are already reporting “sales of fake voter cards printed in Pakistan, intimidation by local power barons and the absence of a national voter list.” Meanwhile, [...]
Um, what happened last night? It is almost impossible to know for sure, but here is what we think we know: Delaware jerk-off Christine O’Donnell defeated Rep. Mike Castle, racist Buffalo wing(nut) Carl Paladino won the Republican gubernatorial primary in New York, and Vincent Gray beat Adrian Fenty in the DC mayoral primary (“nobody” should [...]
Congress’ childish “recess” is over, which means all of your favorite politicians are returning to our nation’s Swamp Capital, in their private jumbo jets. We imagine they are glad to be back in Washington, where they do not have to talk to the Real Americans back home who are concerned about “the Mosks, the Messicans, [...]
Need something to send back to all the hick-jackholes sure to send you maudlin bullshit Never Forget crying eagle gifs tomorrow? We made you a chart of math science! Methodology: We combined the 2001-2010 figures for “U.S. gun deaths” (30,000 annually) and “U.S. automobile fatalities” (379,000 over nine years) to make a second WTC tower [...]
What if you found out that one of your ex-friends was writing a tell-all book about all your secrets? Would you start a damage control campaign, getting your side of the story out to the press? Would you beg and plead with them to reconsider? Would you hire lawyers? These are the sorts of tactics [...]
It’s been an exciting week for Afghanistan, the reality teevee show where farty military brass compete to see who can cook up the most death and despair using only three ingredients. Our latest contestant, “Dave Petraeus,” has an ambitious plan to send an additional 2,000 NATO soldiers to Afghanistan — probably because he hates them [...]
The Taliban is trying so hard to transform Afghanistan into a backward Sharia land, and yet, every day we see more and more signs of proper Westernization: One of the principal owners of the Afghan bank at the center of an accelerating financial crisis here said depositors had withdrawn $180 million in the past two [...]
Your least-favorite exurban grandma has been messing with the ‘puter again, and this time she’s got some HOT news from the AOL Fwds: There is something called “Wikileaks,” and it is leaking things either on or from The Enemy. Do you even know who the Enemy is? Neither does Sarah Palin! But she’s pretty sure [...]
“The business of America is business” said Calvin Coolidge, America’s greatest president; the obvious implication is that the business of America’s enemies, the Foreigns, is using their eight weeks of vacation to sit around in romantic cafes, smoking and discussing their latest extramarital affairs with rueful detachment. That’s why it’s particularly disheartening to learn that [...]
The American Enterprise Institute has been hemming and hawing over the important policy question, “Why won’t Julian Assange just die already?” Julian Assange, as you might recall, is the jerk from Wikileaks who tricked possibly hundreds of Americans into caring about the war in Afghanistan for maybe thirty seconds. Can’t you just let America watch [...]
Remember when Alan Greenspan was in charge of our economies, and everyone parsed his inscrutable utterances to determine whether interest rates were going up or down, or to try to figure out if some key but obscure economic indicator was headed in the right direction? Well, now that he doesn’t have a government job to [...]
If, like confused old ass-clown Richard Cohen at the Washington Post, you’ve never heard of the “WikiLeaks” or the “Internet,” this year’s biggest news story maybe didn’t really hit home. And if there’s a natural constituency of confused old ass-clowns outside the Washington Post‘s op-ed page, it’s the U.S. Capitol. That’s why the House decided [...]
