airplanes
Again, the background cannot be reiterated too many times: on Jeebus’ birthday, a rich 23-year-old Nigerian dipshit loosely affiliated with The Terrorists attached a dime-bag of firecrackers to his boner, held snug by a dirty skid-marked tighty whity diaper apparatus. He tried to blow up his magical cockbomb on an airplane over Detroit and failed [...]
Sen. Chuck Schumer is so good at politics that he recently called a flight attendant a “bitch” after she asked him to turn off his cell phone. That’s something that Chuck Schumer did, again, because he is just so good at politics and pays such careful attention to his choice of words at all times. [...]
Unpopular elected official Harry Reid is just all about including the public option on the new health care bill. [New York Times] John Kerry is so busy and fulfilled chairing the Senate Foreign Relations Committee that he totally doesn’t even have time to think about 2004. [Washington Post] A team of pilots flying a commercial [...]
As any student of politics will tell you, it matters not one whit when an elected official gets caught having sex with a non-spouse person (provided that person is not a hooker or a member of the same sex or both). However, a single incident of sexual indiscretion gives that person’s enemies carte blanche to [...]
Shocking news from the Terrorism Security Agency: All airplane terrorists would not have even existed if ONLY the TSA had crucial information from you, the person booking a flight on the Internet. What is that you say, potential terrorist? You already provide your name and your credit card and then your government-issued photo ID at [...]
And you thought it was hard being an old person! Imagine being an innocent jet, of either the fighter or the passenger variety. You would be completely penniless, thanks to a pack of flightless bipeds in the United States Congress.
Famous talky-mouth Joe Biden is always plotting against us, except for part of this week when he was a Hero for talking so much to Arlen Specter that Specter had enough and said, “Okay, Jesus fucking Christ, Joe, whatever, I’ll be a Democrat. I’ll be a fucking Scientologist Mel-Gibson Catholic Turkish Imam if that’s what [...]
Peggington. We love Peggington so much, and we don’t even care who knows! In this week’s very special Thanksgiving edition of her Wall Street Journal psychodiary, “Declarations,” the Noonanism — an embarrassingly insular worldview in which no personal anecdote is void of world-historical spiritual import — has been cranked deep into the red. Here’s what [...]
Oh dear, it looks like those liberal celebrities are insulting George W. Bush’s heroism by plotting amateurish “copycat crimes” against Freedom. Why else would self-loathing college rapper Kanye West be arrested at the airport, on 9/11? Exactly. Now let’s invade, what, Belgium or Egypt or something. [CNN]
Because of the damn terrorists, hobos will now have to take off the roaster chickens they use as footwear before boarding planes. In the Chicago area last Friday, a “motorist” noticed a whole roaster chicken, presumably on the road, stuffed not with innards or stuffing or golden trinkets, but with an IED, to blow up [...]
