al franken
Your faithful Star-Tribune has a little ticker dealy on their front page and look, Al Franken is ahead by nearly 250 votes! The Coleman v. Franken recount has been going on since when, the Carter administration or so? Are both of these people even still alive, or have they been replaced yet by Adam Sandler [...]
By now you have heard the very silly story of the jokester who wrote in “Lizard People” on his ballot, singlehandedly derailing the very complicated Senate election in Minnesota. Witness this group of Deciders trying to figure out if Lizard People is a known individual or not. What is sadder, the American election system or [...]
Let’s check in with our favorite state, where an unfunny television performer is locked in a Mexican Death Match with St. Paul sleazebag Norm Coleman’s wife’s legs. In other words, LIZARD PEOPLE FTW! A judge somewhere in Minnesota, this state where voters treat their ballots like kids’ menus, just ruled that Franken will not get [...]
Have you been paying to the Minnesota Senate recount still, America? It’s still going on! We’d assumed that Al Franken had lost unofficially, and then the Illinois governor started being hilarious, and that was that. So, Jonathan Chait of TNR, what can you tell those of us who haven’t really been paying attention? “If you [...]
The Al Franken team announced today that under its special recount tracking methodology, Franken’s ahead by 22 votes over that cock Norm Coleman! The maths here seem rather terrible: “The Franken camp’s methodology involves taking down the opinions of the local election officials regarding the challenged ballots, and assuming that all the challenges will result [...]
This global warming has gotten so bad that ships can now pass through the “Northwest Passage,” which didn’t even previously exist except on advanced levels of the Oregon Trail. [Matthew Yglesias] Stately, plump Bill Richardson will be Obama’s new Commerce Secretary! [Politico] Joe Biden complains to Sarah Palin that no one pays attention to him [...]
Here is a list of Obama’s best friends and how much they each paid David Plouffe, per hour, for the privilege of performing sexual favors on the two of them. [Ben Smith] Hindsight is 20/20, etc.: Americans warned Indians back in October that hotels in Mumbai would probably be attacked. [The Daily Beast] Steve Schmidt, [...]
Have you all been following this Franken-Coleman senatorial recount drudgery on the FiveThirtyEight? Good for you! Certain Wonkette editors have resisted wading into those treacherous waters, for they are abrim with regression analyses & dragonnes & awful flashbacks to Florida of 2000. But here is a funny non-maths-related theory about the soul-sucking recount process in [...]
Oh here is a fun game! Check out these actual disputed voter ballots from Minnesota, and look at what laughable excuses the Coleman and Franken campaigns have for arguing “voter intent” in one direction or the other. Minnesota Public Radio, you have rendered a valuable time-wasting service unto the nation. [MPR via First Read]
Dubious comic talent Al Franken was beating Norm Coleman in the Minnesota recount, two hours ago, but now Coleman is ahead by 174 votes! This will go on, back and forth, until the remaining 82% of the vote is recounted. The loser gets a show on Air America. [Star Tribune]
Amid all the excitement of last night’s HISTORIC ELECTION a few important questions went unanswered, at least here on the Wonkette. For example: did fluorescent light foe and unrepentant baby-farmer Michelle Bachmann successfully defend her Minnesota district from insurgent chaotic-good lawn sprite Elwyn Tinklenberg? And whatever happened to that poop factory over in San Francisco? [...]
Not that Al Franken is any great shakes, but you’d think that if the NRSC wanted to put out a “Hollywood Stars against Franken”-themed ad then they could’ve drummed up a better coterie than a forgotten SNL cast member from 20 years ago, a lesser Baldwin, two other guys we’ve never heard of in our [...]
This new Republican National Senatorial Committee ad against Minnesota candidate Al Franken calls him a rape-lover who loves to rape white women or really rape anything; rapes boys, rapes pandas, even rapes himself when he’s out of other things to rape. Rape rape rape rape raper rap erp rae peraraep. The rape ad tells us [...]
Good sweet Jesus God: “Al Franken draws a perfect map of the United States from memory while taking questions at a fundraiser.” Kos is more right than he thinks when he calls it “perfect,” in fact. Kentucky looks like a turd and liberal New England looks like it’s trying to escape from the rest of [...]
Jesse Ventura, the former governor of Minnesota, has given the collective electorate blue balls for a whole week. We’ve been anxiously awaiting his declaration of candidacy for Senate against incumbent Republican Norm “Boxcar Willie” Coleman and Democrat Al Franken, who used to be a comedian once. But then Jesse Ventura went on the Larry King [...]
