alabama
Who is this crazy lady who isn’t allowed to get out of her truck until her husband first gets out and says his piece about why he is permitting her to run for office? She’s Kathy Peterson, Republican candidate for President of the Alabama Public Service Commission and wife of briefly famous redneck and failed [...]
What are the racist loonballs up to in …let’s see, Ohio this time? Sure, why not give Arizona a quick break? Antiques-collecting landlord lady Jamie Hein of Cincinnati is apparently the sort of person who came to mind when someone wanted to gift a 1931 sign from Alabama that reads “Public Swimming Pool, White Only.” [...]
A failed Republican candidate for governor in Alabama has been discovered on a lesbian-impregnating rampage in New Zealand, despite his own anti-homosexual political actions and the fact that he’s married to a “two-time Mrs America finalist who has three children from a former relationship.” Bill Johnson, a conservative Christian politician who lost his 2009 campaign [...]
Given the medieval new anti-furriner laws in Alabama criminalizing even the air that circulates complacently through an illegal immigrant’s lungs, it is maybe not surprising that some of Alabama’s more boneheaded fearful legal citizens are afraid the Thought Police (Jesus?) will come after them for so much as thinking that some of its brown people [...]
Alabama is just the latest backwards state to legally codify its crusader witch hunt against the illegal immigrant wizards working their back-breaking field labor black magick on Alabama’s giant agriculture industry, but the state’s recently-enacted set of draconian worst-ever anti-immigrant laws are working a little too fast: zillions of Alabama tomatoes are rotting away in [...]
It is hard times, hard choices in Alabama, where legislators have been forced like in many other states to slash funding for their state parks and historical monuments because of priorities, etc. “But who will think of the trees and the history?” Eh, no one, next question. “But who will think of the racists?” OH [...]
Throwing around racial slurs is such second nature to members of the Alabama GOP, they cannot even remember to filter themselves when they are wearing around FBI wires during corruption investigations that forever record their drawling abuses of human language so they can be played back to grand juries. When state Sen. Scott Beason was [...]
A family in Alabama whose house was completely leveled, squashed, shredded, and blown apart (in that order) by one of the nation’s endless tornado rampages got a creepy letter from incompetent bureaucrat holding pen FEMA saying that, after inspection, their home was deemed to have “insufficient damage” to qualify for FEMA funds. Could you please [...]
It’s been over 146 years since the Confederacy ceased to exist. But it’s been exactly 150 years since Jefferson Davis was inaugurated president of the thing in Alabama, and, boy, doesn’t it seem like that latter one was just yesterday? Tomorrow, the Sons of Confederate Veterans (Sons? How old are they? 135?) are descending on [...]
Robert Bentley is the governor of Alabama and a Republican. Therefore, he got in trouble this week for implying that people who are not Christians are not his “brother and sister.” And then, suddenly, atheists and the Anti-Defamation League and followers of the First Slammin’ Church of Patrick Ewing and what have you got upset [...]
If any art form can truly be called American, it’s offensive text on the signboards of churches and places of business. The latest masterpiece comes to us from an electronic repair shop in the Florence for this kind of art, Alabama: “BBQ PORK RESTAURANT IS SAFEST NO MUSLIMS INSIDE SEWER CAM REPAIR.” That’s right, if [...]
Most everyone agrees that, after Barack Obama was elected, almost all racism in America ended. But there’s still a little racism around, if you can find it! Still, you will need to establish a consensus of white people before you can truly deem someone’s actions to be motivated by racial animus. Take, for instance, the [...]
Is Jimmy Carter the greatest president in history? Not only did he manage to free captured / arrested / kidnapped / whatever American Aijalon Mahli Gomes, but he also managed to get out of North Korea without having to party with the super-awkward Kim Jong-Il the way Bill Clinton did. Plus, he did not succumb [...]
