alabama
Three whole weeks ago, star of stage and screen Tim James submitted himself to the approval of the Alabama Republican electorate, along with two other, lesser candidates. Did it make sense to them? Nobody could tell! James and some dude named “Bentley” were almost tied for second and the right to go a run-off. But [...]
Remember this guy, Dale Peterson, with his dumb horse and dumb gun and whatever? Well, he lost. But like every other tween-aged girl on YouTube, this fool equates national derision with sudden local importance. We were laughing at you, Dale. Go ahead and dream of shootin’ people for taking campaign signs promoting the guy who [...]
Does the nomination of simple conservative Alabama businessman Tim James for Governor make sense to you (and by “you” we obviously mean “Alabama Republicans”)? Does it? DOES IT TO YOU? Scientists can’t tell, yet! Some loser named “Bradley Byrne” is in first place, while James and some other dork named “Robert Bentley” are very very [...]
There is a super-big primary tonight in the great state of Alabama! The state’s wealthy, white, land-owning males will decide which candidate becomes their official GOP candidate for governor. Everyone in Alabama is so excited, according to the Anniston Star: “Election officials say Alabama voters planning to participate in the primary election don’t have to [...]
Obviously — obviously — every single effort BP makes to try to stop the entire contents of the earth from barfing up into the Gulf of Mexico will fail, and miserably. This is making the Obama administration look bad, as they are supposed to be “in charge” but it’s not really their fault (except in [...]
Larry David’s new cable comedy, I Am Playing Alabama Conservative “Young Boozer” In This Comedy, is already making many fans via YouTube. Did you know “Young Boozer” is a “fun name,” even if this character is very serious about his conservative what’s-it? [YouTube via Wonkette operative "Adam B."]
Here is Les Phillip, Republican congressional candidate from Alabama. He criticizes Barack Obama for befriending all sorts of terrorists instead of joining the Navy, like Les Phillip did. Phillip says he will stop Obama from destroying America, “and they’re not gonna call me a racist.” (Hilariously, he takes off his glasses while saying this, as [...]
SO THIS IS ILLEGAL, TOO, IN OBAMA’S AMERICA? “MOBILE, Ala. — An Alabama evangelist who authorities say terrorized his family while preaching at revivals has been sentenced to life plus 51 years in prison after being convicted of killing his wife and storing her body in a home freezer.” The sentenced criminal, who had interrupted [...]
Here’s Dale Peterson, who is just a little bit INTENSE, especially about his mealy-mouthed jackass opponents in the Republican primary who are just doing such terrible stuff like stealing signs and making jokes on the Facebook. Is this a time to joke? Dale Peterson’s gonna come pump you full of birdshot you damned pansy communist. [...]
The closely monitored Alabama Republican gubernatorial primary race has taken another comical advertising turn, this one not even involving Tim James, who is in like 20th place despite being hilarious. Candidate Roy Moore is attacking fellow candidate Bradley Byrne for suggesting that evolution is something worth considering, and that the Bible is not entirely literally [...]
Deep-thinkin’ Mexican tort-reformin’ bidnessman Tim James, candidate for Alabama governor, has released the latest installment in his “wander ’round the mansion lookin’ pensive ‘n’ shit” series of advertisements. This one’s called “Sex Offenders” and opens with our hero, top shirt button undone and tie loosened for the first time, clutching his terrified wife and saying, [...]
