alaska
Scruffy-cheeked Ivy League teabagger Joe Miller lost his crazed bid to become a senator last year, but the sore loser still thinks he’s got a place in politics. But will his ambitions survive his friendship with a 26-year-old white trash militia kid arrested for trying to kill a bunch of judges and cops? Who knows, [...]
“A leaked manuscript by one of Sarah Palin’s closest aides from her time as governor charges that Palin broke state election law in her 2006 gubernatorial campaign and was consumed by petty grievances up until she resigned.” Nah, that doesn’t sound like her. Must be a governor of another unpopulated northern meth-and-jerky wasteland they’re thinking [...]
Sarah Palin is sad Sarah Palin’s Alaska is turning on her. Specifically, Sarah Palin’s Alaska’s hookers.
Here’s something that won’t surprise anyone, but is still disgusting and horrible: Alaska is America’s Capital of Rape! Sexual assault is basically the main activity, following “drinking for seven or eight days straight because you can’t tell if it’s day or night” and “buying meth in the WalMart parking lot after buying pot and Taco [...]
The Wonkbot was just kicking it old-style at its tacky lakefront tract McMansion up in some snowbilly suburb by the Taco Bell and Big Lots! and Home Depot and army recruiting strip mall shop and then the Wonkbot thought, “People somewhere are doing a Jew Blood Libel on me!” So here is the “state of [...]
Happy New Year! Joe Miller must have had to wait until 2011 to quit being an asshole for tax purposes. Yeah, that’s it. Let’s see how he starts his statement: “In what can only be described as actions that are reckless, irresponsible, and immoral You embarrassed your kids by fighting Lisa Murkowski for months in [...]
For reasons which are all too clear, The Wretched State of Alaska has delayed the release of Sarah Palin’s governor e-mails fourteen times, and two more delays are pending! Why won’t Alaska’s bureaucrats let us read the gchat exchanges between Sarah Palin and the Bloomingdale’s panties that she purchased with Michael Steele’s American Express card? [...]
Break out your advent calendar and enjoy a delicious chocolate-covered Alaska Supreme Court ruling which states there “are no remaining issues raised by Miller that prevent this election from being certified.” Yay! Blow it out yer butt, Joe Miller, you hairy fraud. Joe will have two days to file “additional complaints,” but it’s unclear what [...]
For the love of Joseph and Mary’s unsullied maidenhead: When will Joe Miller stop smelling his own farts and accept the fact that he is a loser? “Probably never,” according to everyone. “He’s a hopeless dick.” Miller is still peddling the same sad legal argument — “voter intent” is in violation of what Joe Miller [...]
On a grim November day just two years ago, the recently defeated GOP candidate for vice president pardoned a turkey. And because she had yet to quit the only real job she ever had — governor of Alaska — she didn’t have all these private jets at her service, so she did the “normal for [...]
Yes, even this dog hates Sarah Palin’s Alaska, a terrible reality show (also known as “a reality show”) that premiered last night on The Learning Channel, a channel for the willfully ignorant. Why do pets hate this show? Well, for the usual reasons someone would dislike Sarah Palin, probably. But even this, her own show, [...]
Midterm exit polls have shown that a majority of Americans identify as “obese fatsacks.” But there are many millions of Other Americans who identify as “smug young professionals” — these are the jerks who drink “low-fat vegan skim milk” so that they can stay healthy and smug. Obviously this is borderline treason, because it is [...]
Even though Bristol Palin was dancing in California on the television last night, she still should have sent in her ballot absentee, because voting is just what white rural folks do, and that’s how their candidates win elections. But this morning, as the sun continues to hover over Alaska, Joe Miller is crying because Bristol [...]
