alaska
An Alaska judge has granted Sarah Palin a restraining order against 18-year-old Shawn R. Christy, a guy from Pennsylvania who likes to call and write her and talk about his shotgun. “He had sent her a letter with the proof of a gun purchase, claimed to have had an affair with Palin and wrote, in [...]
Hey now! It’s new MSNBC gotcha journalist Lawrence O’Donnell! He’s got a show on that teevee librul treehouse now. The show features animated clouds floating over the New York City skyline behind O’Donnell’s head, chiefly. But yesterday it also featured Levi Johnston, and Lawrence O’Donnell asked Levi serious foreign policy questions, because Lawrence O’Donnell is [...]
Whoa, the Anchorage Daily News has picked up the #1 hottest story in America, “People on the Internets made preposterous ‘visual aids’ to help Alaska remember Lisa Murkowski’s name.” And now you are all famous, in Alaska: The political satire website Wonkette asked readers to develop visual aids for Alaska voters intending to write in [...]
Unemployed Americans have been toiling in front of their MS Paint computer screens all day long, trying to think up ways to help Alaska remember Lisa Murkowski’s impossibly difficult-to-remember name. We were not even a little bit surprised to discover you all have way too much time to waste between bong rips, and also that [...]
Alaska is full of morans who don’t know how to spell M-u-r-k-w-s-k-i. Eight letters, two vowels, very easy. This is why MS Paint Patriots are making clever .jpg pictures to help Alaskans remember Lisa’s last name, so that they can “write it in” on their electronic ballot during Joe Miller’s election day. But will Alaska [...]
Lisa Murkowski is the world’s biggest loser/jerk-off for not volunteering to work fifty hours a week as an unpaid intern for Joe Miller’s Senate campaign. And now for some reason Lisa Murkowski gets to keep her seat on her important Energy Committee, even though Jim DeMint said she wasn’t allowed to. Aren’t women supposed to [...]
Bothersome ice colony “Alaska” has a bridge that goes to the Twilight Zone, but apparently no equipment for cleaning up oil spills — which is not really a big deal because that has never happened before, especially not in Alaska: A Valdez-based citizen watchdog group told legislators Tuesday that the state’s arsenal of oil-response equipment [...]
Important grandma Sarah Palin was supposed to fly to LA last night to watch her daughter dance around like a common strumpet — even though Sarah would have been in constant danger of being assassinated by Hamas. Did you stay up all night long, fretting like a worrywart about Sarah Palin’s safety? That was very [...]
America’s first-grade teacher, Lisa Murkowski, just wants to teach Alaskans to spell her dumb last name so she can try to beat hair-cheeked teabagger Joe Miller. But it seems her campaign can’t spell Murkowski either, according to the screen shot from one of her teevee commercials. [Ben Smith]
At first this looked like Sarah was retweeting somebody but didn’t understand how to use those buttons. But there is no “Orora” on Twitter that wrote this. So is this Orora person someone who’s allowed to use Palin’s BlackBerry? Is she the ghost-tweeter? And is this implying Joe Miller is a “Mama Grizzly” too? So [...]
We already know Lisa Murkowski will run on a third party Write-In Ticket. What we don’t know (yet) is: Will she defeat man hunk Joe Miller? Nate Silver and his math-numbers say: Sure, why not? Can Ms. Murkowski win? Sure she can. There is plenty of precedent for write-ins being elected to the Congress, although [...]
Alaskan prisoner-of-warblog Bill Scannell took on another dangerous undercover assignment for your Wonkette: the announcement of Senator Lisa Murkowski’s wacky scheme to try to get Alaskans to write something, with a pen! (The usual expression of Alaskan literacy is a sad face “drawn” with urine in the dirty snow behind a tattoo parlor.)
It’s a Republican WAR up in Alaska, where Senator Lisa Murkowski just announced she’s running a write-in campaign against hairy-cheeked weirdo Joe Miller, the Tea Party darling who won the GOP primary. Murkowski, a senator since her dad appointed her in 2002 when he was elected governor, won her 2004 election but last month lost [...]
Alaska is more than just the must-visit destination for helicopter snipers. It is also the place to enjoy the finest cuisine yuppies have to offer: This former frontier city is now a place where, any day, you can purchase a hand-made chocolate truffle with an anchovy perched on top or a croissant baked the same [...]
Bill Scannell has suffered many Alaskan indignities for Wonkette since the ridiculous rise of snowbilly grifter Sarah Palin, but Saturday night’s rip-off 9/11-palooza was, as he reports, a total fraud.
