Wonkette

ISN’T THAT JUST SOME GAY DISEASE THOUGH?: According to Andrew Sullivan’s gay Congressional ESP, Sen. David Vitter, who likes to have diaper sex with prostitutes left and right, is the “only Senator opposing the removal of the HIV travel and immigration ban” from “The United States President’s Emergency Plan for AIDS Relief,” a.k.a. PEPFAR. What kind of godforsaken world do we live in where David Vitter is the only guy who doesn’t want Americans getting AIDS from these foreign gays who come here and start coughing everywhere? [Andrew Sullivan]

Endless Simmer blogger “gansie” sent us this startling image of beloved D.C. pundit Andrew Sullivan blogging at a Subway sandwich shop. Really! (Unless this is the strangest use of Photoshop in History.) The shocking report: “Tuesday 4/29 — 6:30 p.m.: Andrew Sullivan in full blogging mode — at Subway!” It’s the one at 16th and V, if you’re wondering. (When did Subway start doing the fancy Starbucks chairs and low tables?) This should’ve gone in Wonk’d but was simply too wonderful to get lost in a crowd of lesser sightings. Bloggers: They’re just like us! [Endless Simmer]

Whoa, hey, is that a blurry picture of the famous secret diplomat, Joe Wilson? It is! What’s he up to, these days? Well, if you believe our tipster “Sal,” Wilson can be found these days campaigning for Hillary in tiny little towns, so that his wife can remain undercover. Join us for a super special weeks-late Wonk’d with appearances by Jim Webb, Chuck Hagel, Wonder Woman, Wolf Blitzer, Donald and Mrs. Donald Rumsfeld, Tom Ridge, Rob Lowe, Andrew Sullivan, Larry Craig and the always fetching Elizabeth Kucinich … after the jump!

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Christ, the Pennsylvania primary isn’t until April 22 and at its current rate, the Internet will have long since committed suicide, over and over and over again. Over the last week, many bloggers have gotten so bored with the lack of actual news that they have become werewolves. Specifically, the level of violent rage directed at Hillary Clinton has reached that of Osama bin Laden in late 2001. Do not be surprised to see some of the bloggers below resort to self-immolation the next time Hillary Clinton says something on a radio show. MORE »

She is truly a monster, run by the Lizard King Bowser, running kamikaze nosedive straight into the soul of our personal Secular Jesuses. She is ruining everyone’s life. We need to end this primary, because all of this Internet ranting and raving about Hillary Clinton is just starting to sound too real. MORE »

Given the Main Stream Media’s overt bias against Hillary Clinton, it’s very difficult to find a good, objective debate verdict the morning after. Fortunately we have bloggers like Andrew Sullivan to tell it like it is. While Sullivan writes dozens of posts a day, since forever, preaching against Hillary Clinton’s very Clintonian smear campaigns, diabolical nature and disgrace to the female gender and America, he actually apologized for his previous Iraq War support. Now that we can trust everything he says, let’s check out his liveblog of the debate last night to see, objectively, who won. MORE »

“Cultural critic” James Wolcott, on his Vanity Fair blog, outlines why he voted for Hillary:

“Perhaps it’s my atheism at work but I found myself increasingly wary of and resistant to the salvational fervor of the Obama campaign, the idealistic zeal divorced from any particular policy or cause and chariot-driven by pure euphoria. I can picture President Hillary in the White House dealing with a recalcitrant Republican faction; I can’t picture President Obama in the same role because his summons to history and call to hope seems to transcend legislative maneuvers and horse-trading; his charisma is on a more ethereal plane, and I don’t look to politics for transcendence and self-certification.”

Why do you hate Love so much, Mr. Wolcott? [James Wolcott via Andrew Sullivan]

Famous-for-DC American Prospect blogger Ezra Klein usually keeps it clean on his lefty blog, but on his Twitter micro-blogging side project account, he’s just another sick fucking Wonketteer.

UPDATE: Ezra Klein responds… MORE »

Just like Andy Rooney had a good point that Barry Obama shouldn’t be president because he has a black-sounding name, the counterpoint made by labor-hating scab Andy Sullivan last night on Colbert was equally brilliant. Baldilocks spent a good chunk of his four minutes pushing for Barry, sharing with Comedy Central viewers the great insight the world will stop hating us if our president is brown and named “Obama.” Thank you, Andy. And thanks for saying it on teevee and not on your blog, where we wouldn’t have understood on account of we don’t know how to read..

New episodes of Comedy Central’s The Daily Show and The Colbert Report will start airing on Monday without the help of their starving writers, but plenty of writerly guests are lining up to promote themselves on the teevee shows. First up for Colbert: Andrew Sullivan, who may try to explain just what was going on in this creepy Iowa fantasy he posted yesterday. MORE »