argentina
There is so much civil disobedience happening everywhere, except here in terrible America, where it is probably needed the most: Mubarak is in coma-exile, Iran just exploded again, and there’s been all sorts of anti-government protests and political unrest in Bahrain, Yemen and Libya. The United States has lots of navy boats stationed in Bahrain, [...]
Most South Carolinians are so poor/destitute that they seriously do not care at all about Mark Sanford’s adulterous sexytimes with that lady from South America. A new poll proves it: A large majority of South Carolinians – roughly 7 out of 10 – give the governor a grade of “C” or better for his overall [...]
MARK SANFORD IS MOST FAMOUS PERSON IN SOUTH AMERICA: Here’s a fun story about how embarrassing South Carolina is, on a global scale: “He was in Peru, on a train from Cusco to Machu Picchu, when he and his wife began chatting with another couple. Where, Harpootlian asked, are you from? Rio, came the response, [...]
Mark Sanford has been thinking awhile about this whole Joe Wilson thing, which really, if you think about it, makes sense to think about in terms of Sanford’s extramarital affair. (Lows by any other name!) Here is Sanford, giving some interview in South Carolina and just owning sixth grade’s most savvy rhetorical move: “The guy [...]
Mark Sanford has admitted to a lot of sketchy behavior and pretty much constant lies about everything, and he is a weeping emo douche, but there’s one thing Mark Sanford wants you to know: HE DID NOT START THE RUMOR THAT HIS HATED RIVAL, LT. GOV. ANDRE BAUER, IS A BIG FAG. Somebody else must’ve [...]
Jenny Sanford and the four Sanford kids recently fled the South Carolina governor’s mansion with their Dignity, leaving Mark to stew alone in a massive house filled to the rafters with the stench of Disgrace. He says it is “hard,” living alone, like a ghost.
Mark Sanford is sick, just sick to death, of Hypocrisy. First America was intolerant of true love and basically demanded that he pretty much ignore his own heart. Well, guess what, now everyone is angry that he has been spending time with his family! Specifically, everyone is criticizing him for using South Carolina’s money to [...]
Remember the month of June, the month that happened a couple of months ago? The very best part of June was when a certain lovestruck Southern governor departed for a five-day solo Father’s Day hike in the woods and returned warbling about the Argentinian sparkin’ thing, much to the embarrassment of his spokesman, who had [...]
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South Carolina’s embarrassing Argentine love-tango scandal may have made its governor look bad, but two parties have emerged from this sad nightmare smelling like little roses: Jenny Sanford, and The State newspaper. Yesterday the paper released a pack of hilariously sycophantic requests from various media outlets to Governor Sanford’s office suggesting that — !!! — [...]
The Washington Post has comical new details about the infamous, state-funded June, 2008 meetings South Carolina Sex Governor Mark Sanford set up in South America, to discuss TRADE, with potential “trading partners,” for whatever it is South Carolina produces. (Indigo.) Apparently his trip planners gave word to South American officials that maybe they didn’t really [...]
ARREST MARK SANFORD FOR WAR TREASON! Now that Mark Sanford has arbitrarily admitted that he saw Ms. Lady from Argentina seven times instead of three in the past year, and that he fingered millions of other ladies, he will finally be rendered to Azkaban for war crimes: “COLUMBIA, South Carolina (CNN) — The attorney general [...]
When Governor Mark Sanford tearfully admitted last week that he had an affair with some gal who he actually liked a lot, many people wrote approvingly of his candor, and the fact that he didn’t say “Meh, I was just boning some slutty slut, it meant nothing.” He had feelings and things, and maybe a [...]
On Friday night the New York Times, a well-known snarky DC gossip blog, suggested that a guy who briefly dated Mark Sanford’s ladyfriend may have leaked a bunch of emails to Sanford’s hometown newspaper. But now Sanford’s ladyfriend is denying it, saying that the accused leaker in question “is an excellent, respectable and honorable man [...]
Mark Sanford! You might remember this guy from a few days ago, when he cruelly Michael Jackson ex machina’ed what was supposed to be the Summer of Becton. His insane emails were of a more pornographic persuasion than those of Becton, so out of obligation to democracy, all of America’s GChat statuses then changed to [...]
